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Dear Uncle M ike ,
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I'm e 2 6 year old woman - - single,
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in te llig e n t, w a rm , cenng. reasonably
i t —
a ttra c tiv e , sensual and often charming
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H u « » r « nm* « u A m i Aw»" •*■**»'
f c x q
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and
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7 € a $
Here's my question
W here are all the good men? All I yet is w hiners, slackers, and aging adolescents
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v tth o u t a c a r, gas money, ambition or a clue
s
desparota enough to cereteke cynics whose cup is always half em pty, put bendeids on the
I don't think I'm ell that picky, but I'm not
knees of skateboarders old enough to shave, or support lovers who sleep around
Any
suggestions. Answer Man?
Third and Ivy Streets Tillamook Oregon
Selective Shopper in Seattle
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Dear Shopper,
Uncle M ike always has suggestions
His fir s t is that you change your metaphor before
he gags One shops for clothing, fresh produce, and the perfect Spanish Coffee
UNE CNIROFRACTK PC
The idea
of stopping for a human being ended, ostensibly at least, w ith the C ivil W ar
P a r r u u u j H iM b
2 /4
Since you describe yourself as in tellig en t. Uncle Mike hesitates to suggest the
J. KATHLEEN MALIN
obvious
Chiropractic
Fhyvoan
Ten tk Stne?
You may be stopping in the wrong boutiques
m etaphor, fishing in the wrong tolas
O r, in a kinder and gentler
Lacking knowledge of whet you consider a good
man . Uncle Mike Is herd pressed to w hip out e lis t of lik e ly venues
O rw n
9 7 » o j v
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1______ . L i i _ J J ± 3 _________I
Gentle Mobilizing
Spiral Manipulation 4 Muscle Work
Al*« AvtiiaM Mgr tu Ml Molly StrgmAoit
And A,i,nr«3 c C«et«nzDoftt With CM'«* Gooamgn, MA
<IS S Ho adiy pr
Hls fir s t suggestion
is that you stop looking altogether Unlike finding the ideal cellular phone service,
finding love is more often a wonderful accident then the climax of consumer research
Some of the male traits you d e x rlb e w ith loathing and disdain a re , Uncle M ike c an t
help but notice, age specific Poor baby Having been a younger man him self once,
Uncle Mike has nothing but sympathy for young women hell bent to make something of
.n ir îtfî
them
Pet rocks are often easier to tra in
On the other tond. Uncle M ike Is ceaselessly
unamused by the snivelling of women young and old who, in tto ir search for the perfect
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C A N N O N BEA CH L IB R A R Y
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1)1 Mari). Haatart
po >•■ wr>
C w m B««k OH »Tl 10
man they so obviously deserve, price themselves out of the market
E«*ar -'w *' '*
Dear Uncle M ike,
You re a yuy, maybe you can answer me this
and doesn't, that's okay
• A ir
e # > .
guy thing? Is there
V ? j.
a cure?
t n k e in Portland
(A»n»W ««</ a p t t a ’r d by ib r h b ' a n
and It " till (.tub of ( a n n o n
Why Is It If a guy says he s going to call
But if you don't call him, to lays a guilt t r ip on you? Is thia a
Hra< )
Dear Erika,
Many facets of the human comedy are gender specific
layi ng on of guilt is not one of them
In Uncle Mike's experience, the
Uncle Mike leer ned guilt on his mother s knee and
s till regards it as ore of the great motivators In life , second only to fear
VICTOR H. PLUCY. m.fl.
H O P E L. H A R R IS
Counseling Psychotherapy
Individuals. Couples & Families
L IC E N S E D
MASSAGE
T H E R A P IS T
4J6 9225
Wa»n> >xy«xi
S lot"
mangled his selfesteem
But we were talking about you
Pegardless of gender, the guilt tr ip is one of the cheaper shots in all of behavioral
psychology (see Pavlov s dogs and the plays of tugene 0 N e ill) This is in its e lf no mean
feat The idea behind guilt is simple Convince someone who cares that they ve wronged
and hurt you ( in some nebulous way which, i f they re a lly loved you, they d understand)
lx «« im
503
323 2923
NF 20000400
and they spend the time It takes you to forgive them (generally the rest of th e ir natural
lita ) playing catch up and feeding you bonbons
Is there a cure? Only if there's a w illin g patient
categories
O
T
131 S u n s e t B lvd
People into guilt trip s fall into two
those who know wtot they're doing and those who don't
Those who don t,
w hile often more responsive to reasoning and naked threats, are usually so oblivious to
W
life in general as to make them scarcely worth the effort involved in retrain in g them
Those who know gu ilt when they're shovelling it a re, for the most p art, not about to
Î W
inneh
fDotf
This Is , by the
way, a philosophy stored by many of the women who have bunnytoppod into his life and
stop
W hy should they, given schmucks lik e yourself who are w illin g to ro ll over and
put their paws in the a ir?
T r a n s p e r s o n a l C o u n s e lin g
As w ith most of the hopeless messes people make of t t o ir lives, the solution only
f o r C o n s c io u s L iv in g
W om en
M en
seems to involve someone else Pepe«’ after Uncle Mike
C o u p le *
option
the swamp w ater, do this
C a n n o n Beads
Disengagement is always an
That you not wallow in g u ilt, w o rn n g you might be throwing the baby out w ith
Tell the mindless je rk as sweetly as possible you're up to
here w ith this neurotic crap and. If he wants to play the victim he 11 have to find a new
136 0410
sandbox
D a n a C. A n d o ro o n . M S • D ire c to r
• I
saatat
M e d ita tio n I 2-1 p .m . every W e d A Frl
T h e Q u ie t R oom 1-3 p .m . every W e d A Frl
il
Then walk your talk
'■'-» ***
Dear Uncle M ike,
My 10 year old daughter tos developed an interest in spiders
C o m p assio n ate C o m m u n ic a tio n W o rk s h o p
R o b e rt G onzales, Sat, June 4, 9-6 p .m ., »60
D ances o f U n iversal Peace F rl, June 10, 7:30 p.m ., 12
O p e n H o use (6 p .m .) A Film (7:30 p .m .)
‘T h e E ld e r B ro th e rs ' W a rn in g " , Sat, June IS,
M e m b e r» F re e, N o n -m e m b e rs 15
S to ry m a k e rs G a th e rin g (fo r w o m e n A m e n )
Sun, June 26, 6:30 p .m ., 15
project
Now she wants a tarantula
It started as a school
Is this normal?
Squeamish in Astoria
Dear Squeamish,
In a word, no Spiders are the nightmares of the w ild kingdom and those who do
anything but avoid them a re, in Uncle Mike's humble opinion, one cltck this side of
Irre trie v a b le
Under no circumstance should you buy your little munchkin e tarantula
Hava you
seen these things? Good g rie f, n itw it, use your toad
Your daughter w ill promise you s h e ll keep it in a te rra riu m w ith a b rick on the lid
S t o ll be lying
K & D MAIN STREET BOOKS
USED • RARE • UNUSUAL
Eventually s h e ll confuse to r large mandibled arachnid w ith a pat who
knows which side its bread is buttered on Or cares
Trust me, the morning w ill come when, before you've had your coffee, your
eight-legged wooly horror w ill s cu rry out from under the re frig erato r and leap onto
S ut lflo n v r
(503) 648-9216
Dawn DeBernardi
your face
At this point squooshing it w ill be out of the question
b o o k s
.
e tc .
x
*
-j
if e
211 E Main Street, Hillsboro, OR 97123
E v e ry s iaco o u r lova fo r a a c b ia e s
re p la c e d th e love we used ta have
fo r o u r fe lo w a t a catas tro p h e s
proceed la i b crease
Idaa Say
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