OUR GRANDPARENTS* TIME IN WARRENTON
by Watt Childress
I walk w ith my grandfather-by-m arriage down a
narrow paved trace in Warrenton Papa s speak ing
about spruce trees which move slow ly past us as
we walk, about how these ancient-looking zyloid
plants are stronger pound-for-pound than steel
Such w ild local details astonish me more, perhaps,
because I'm not a native Papa s father farmed
here in this place called the Pacific Northwest,
but my bloodroots are in a place called Appalachia
Of course that's just our genetic, nomenclative
te rrito rie s I glance across the w e t-w h istle d air
at the hoary red face of my Celtic companion, and
dote on less m a te ria lis tic reckonings of kin The
beard moss blows from the spruce bowers w ith
shadowy grace, like weather-dogged galloons
hanging from the salty mast of some sea-seasoned
galleon
'They make the fastest boats in the w orld for
crew racing', says Papa aiming the arrow of his
arm at the massive evergreen projectiles, 'the
fastest eight-oared vessel, what they call a
‘sh e ll’, a racing shell1 When these men are moving
together in training, or when they go to these big
events in London or Berkeley or Pennsylvania, they
have to be a unit These eight men have to be one
When they all row together, they actually shout'
They feel unified That's spruce heaven, if you
want to put it that way How do we achieve the
wonderful sense of community that these men
fe e l7 It's a sp iritu a l experience “
Papa is a wise old s p irit He has a book of cards
called 'Medicine Cards', w ith pictures of different
animals Early Tuesday evening I draw the elk.
card, which is identified w ith the key word
“stamina" According to the designers of these
cards, elk have 'a curious kind of w arrior energy
because, except at mating time, they honor the
company of their own gender They can call on the
medicine of brotherhood or sisterhood In
discovering the strength which is gained from
loving the gender that is your own. you w ill feel
the comradeship that arises from s im ila rity of
experience This is a special medicine that allows
the friendship of others of your same sex to
overcome potential com petition or jealousy'
The civic value or fra te rn ity Is an old one I
re fle c t on the manner in which modern people
fraternize over values For the natives here as
w e ll as my own ancestral natives, animals are
often used to illu s tra te values which are essential
to c iv il coexistence Today, animals like plants
are m ostly considered as commodities They hold
lit t le meaning beyond their relationship to
mammon Yet it s true that the elk were a lodge of
livin g creatures long before it became the
government-registered name of another
Non-Governmental Organization (NGO)
Later, a fte r our walk, my w ife Jennifer and I s it
around the dinner table w ith Papa and his w ife
Margaret We ve been legally married for over 3
years, they've been m arried for over 60 As we
taste the sublime m iracle of Mama's
macarom-and-cheese, in a room paneled w ith
reclaimed wood from the old Bumblebee cannery in
Astoria, we discuss whether or not to attend
tonight s OCA meeting That fellow named Mabon
is speaking here in Warrenton, to a warren of
citizens concerned w ith the warranty of c iv il
rig h ts for homosexuals Jennifer is w illin g to
attend the meeting, but Mama and Papa don’t want
to go Papa says he's fa m ilia r w ith other meetings
of this nature that ve been held in the Northwest
He says that If we were to go. w ed likely find the
things we heard 'disgusting' Like Jennifer and I,
Mama and Papa have homosexual friends, many of
whom have been in com m itted monogamous
relationships for longer than the average
heterosexual
So we stay home w ith our grandparents Papa
speaks to me while he watches me w rite down his
words, and sometimes I speak back From a
distance across the room, unaware of my w r.tlng ,
g
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Jennifer hears the conversation proceeding very
slowly, lagging for extended periods and then
flow ing along She says we sound like we re
'ta lkin g underwater", as she s its carding wool
w ith Mama Their carding makes a rhythmic
scratching sound And so goes a quiet evening w ith
fam ily in Warrenton
Later, for the hell of it, I read what is w ritte n
concerning the Rabbit card in Papa s book The key
word here is 'fe a r' A very long tim e ago Rabbit
was 'a brave and fearless w arrior" who was
befriended by a w itch named Eye Walker The two
spent much tim e together, and were very close
Eye walker has magic, which she offers as a g ift
to aid her close companion Rabbit, who accepts
But then Rabbit becomes fearful of the possibility
that this magic could be turned against him. so he
decides to abandon his relationship w ith Eye
walker He divorces her. in a sense As a reward
for dissolving their friendship, Eye Walker lays a
curse upon Rabbit and his tribe which says ' from
now on. you w ill call your fears and your fears
w ill come to you'
Now Rabbit is the Fear Caller
He goes out and shouts, Eagle I am so afraid of
you If Eagle doesn't hear him, Rabbit calls louder,
Eagle, stay away from me’’ Eagle, now hearing
Rabbit, comes and eats him Rabbit calls bobcats,
wolves, and coyotes, and even snakes until they
com e'
The follow ing morning we drive to Astoria where
I'm treated to some extra fine local v ittle s at the
Columbian Cafe I learn that the place has been a
civic gathering place since ,930. and has been
operated by the present owner for the past twelve
years S ittin g at the counter we watch him g rill
French bread to accompany our soup He s wearing
a button that says "Straight But Not Narrow",
having attended Mabon s OCA meeting He says the
event was fa irly low-key, and is grateful for an
absence of violent confrontation Yet there is both
regret and resignation in his voice when he says
"Nobody's minds were changed The lines are
drawn"
Jennifer picks up a copy of The Daily Astorian,
and reads on the front page of the OCA leader s
pitch in Warrenton The fir s t three paragraphs of
the a rtic le read as follow s
Lon Mabon. the leader of the Oregon Citizens
Alliance, wants to turn back the clock to his
grandmother s time
‘ I m 46 years old and I ve seen very dramatic
changes in society, some bad. some good," Mabon
told a gather ing of the Clatsop County OCA
Tuesday night
When I was growing up we didn t have the gang
or drug problems What we believe 1s that those
things are occurr ing as we move away from our
basic standards as a culture Now there's less
respect for life, each other s property and for
traditional values than ever before," he said
I can agree w ith many of the words used here, as I
believe we are suffering from a decay in cultural
heritage and traditional values we've squandered
our natural resources, created mountains of waste,
and replaced h isto ric fam ily farms and local
businesses w ith chain developments Cheapness
has been substituted for quality we consume
much and produce lit t le These problems stem
from a disintegration of community in this
country, and it is c ritic a l that citizens come
together to act upon the civic values which w ill
turn th is situation around unfortunately, people
like Mabon appear to be more interested in
creating hateful distractions from this real work,
searching instead for easy scapegoats upon which
to vent their fears
'The attack isn't against individuals." Mabon
continues "I think homosexual behavior is
wrong It's against nature and what 3 right and
wrong in our universe
Evidently, the people who attended the meeting
were about equally s p lit in opinion, for and against
such double-mouthed statements from Mabon
Jennifer and I chose not to go. to stay home
honoring tim e w ith our grandparents in this
eleventh hour of fear for American communities,
we can derive stamina from our ancestors By
remembering the best of our human heritage we
can overcome today s misguided digressions into
bigotry, and learn to row together as one
Cries to Remember
by Mary Anne Radmacher - Hershey
The manicurist is Arsenia from the
Phillipines Stateside relatives are in Texas
although most of her "families' are still in the
Phillipines She met her best fr tend in Texas in
1980
Aga, man She said they were like
sisters
'You know. s is te rs So many ga, men ar e
like that, sensitive, like a woman That s why
we get along so w e ll, rW know
She speakes 'you know", assuming a greet deal
about me She seems so sin cere- - I don t mind
They moved to San Francisco together and he
started his own salon
He «as a hairdresser l was a man »cur ist
This is how we m et. of course *
Her girlfriends were all so jealous of her He
was so good looking So sexy
"We have our own lives Each of us We are
just friends, but they dn not accept t, as I say
Even though I say we are friends only, they still
believe we are involved So," (she blushes)'I
let them think as they w ill ’
She is fourteen years in America and she still
deals with most events m the present tense Her
fr lend is now itead over two years. although she
describes him in the present tense
"He is my best friend The best friend ever I
have He is so kind We are very close He
make a poem for me
This poem he "moke", he wrote on his own It
was so good she first thought he had just copied
down the words, but his name is on it He read
it in a competition No, she is certain he wrote
this poem all by himself
This poem is treasured, safely folded and
tucked into the inside told of her small date
book
"The poem he makes is about life About living
just this day It is very
touching"
She pauses She is obviously moved by her
recollect ions She continues, then, to introduce
me to this dear friend
"Very sweet He is very giving His birthday
is July 18 A Cancer, you know?"
She quest ions - - wonder ing if I understand
the sweet Cancer nature I think of the
July-born friends I know Swaet? Yes
Tenaciously loyal. funny, creative, affectionate
I under stand how one would claim such a fr lend
as "best' I nod
She goes on, now speak ing about his m em orial
service Here she uses past tense "A fter he
died
" In fact she uses "died so many time I
finally tactfully frame my question
Was it an accident ’ "
'Ob. no1" she responds with speed and
sur pr ise that I would even have to ask
He died from AIDS Yes. AIDS, of course '
I have fought the impulse to categor ically
assume that a young gay hairdresser living in
San Francisco had to have died of AIDS There
are, after a ll. other diseases, car accidents and
violent crimes
'No, no accident It wasAIDS"
She continue; the manicure and her story
"He asked for his asties to be scatter ed across
the bffy His parents rent a boat and his fr lends.
all of us, we are on this boat All of us soy
something
No one knows about this poem No one knows
I carry it since he die So I recite But someone
else finish Someone recite for me because I
cannot finish I cannot because there is too
much weeping
"From this poem, which no one knows but me.
we hear him We all know these are words he
makes himself because they are so much like his
sound Not just me Everyone cries Everyone
cries to remember "
She is sorry to excuse herself She dabs at
her eyes She pulls her purse from a cupboard
behind the manicure tapble Hopeful and then
disappointed - - she has left her calendar and.
therefore, the poem at home
She tells me she felt badly about carrying the
poem around in her calendar As if there wasn t
enough dignity in that She is hoping to find a
special way to preserve it
"I go to the card store where they have this
machine that, you know, says what you want It
says what you tell it But I cannot do it It is
wrong to place his words in a machine So I find
some artist who w ill make his words beautiful
Until I make such a find I w ill keep it where I
know it ts safe I w ill keep it close to me '
I noted the tremble of her lips and her utter
earnestness That poem is kept so close it w ill
never be lost It is kept in the deep chwnber of
her heart where she cries to remember her
friend Her best friend who, of course, died of
AIDS
CASCADE