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‘ Tou can be the fastest man tn baseball,
but not be able to steal a base unless you
can analyze the pitcher * - Vince Coleman
Ah. ah ah I know what yvu ie thinktn Dtd he
go oh for four or oh for five Well tn all the
pop-ups and weak strikeouts, 1 lost count myself
But seem as this is an M - 100 the most powerful
adolescent explosive in the world, and could blvw
your hand clean oil, you ve gotta ask yourself
Am I feeltn lucky’’ Well, are ya, punk’
My first thoughts on this incident were,
A) Thank God the kid wasn t blinded'
B) Thank God this jerk wasn't still playing for
my beloved Cardinals
But then 1 wondered what my stretch would be
if I d tossed a quarter stick of dynamite into a
crowd of people who had just paid a portion of my
obscenely inflated salary
Picture the scene. Three of the most notorious
malingerers m the game, out of shape greedheads,
together tn one car after a game, Coleman, Bonilla
and Eric Davis When it comes to actually working
on the fundamentals of the craft that has made
them rich, these guys have a work ethic somewhat
similar to your twelve year old when you ask him
to unload the dishwasher Their contempt for that
girl, the game and you, came together m one
perfect moment when they lauched their missile
and then drove off, laughing
The outrage is compounded by the absence of
any leadership m Baseball, namely a
commissioner This office was created because the
owners couldn't police themselves Now it's not
necessary’ Not bloody likely' The owners need to
elect a commissioner, now, or else just toss the
keys to Jerry Reinsdorf and tell him to turn out
the lights when he's done Call me crazy, but I
think Colin Powell could use a hobby after he
retires
Vince Coleman is a vicious little twerp who
needs to be summarily drummed out of the game
of Baseball A reality check service job at the
beach may be prescribed The Mets as a whole
are a gang of thugs out of control, and are an
em barrassment to the game Dallas Green, the
"Disciplinarian" apparently had his spine removed
before taking this job The entire situation at Shea
Stadium is a P R nightmare, and if the
powers-that-be think the public is either unaware
or uninterested, they are as mistaken as a DH rule
Vince, you may be the fastest man in Baseball,
but you re not gonna steal this one. baby Because
you didn't analyze the pitcher
Baseball Quiz
1) Yaz hit 301 26 years ago for the AL title, the
lowest ever Who had the lowest average ever for
a senior circuit crown ’
A) Sherry Magee
B) Larry Dole
C) Chick Hafey
D) Honus Wagner
2) Who is the only pitcher to yield three homers
m one World Series inning’
A) Dick Hughes
B) Tim Lollar
C) Vinegar Bend Mizell
D) Virgil Trucks
3) He had 100 RBI's at the mid-season break, and
still didn't make the All-Star Team Who was this
guy’
A) Tommy Davis
B) Roger Maris
C) Jimmie Foxx
D) Hank Greenburg
4) Speaking of All-Star Games, Hubbell struck out
Ruth, Gehrig, Foxx, Simmons and Cronin in a row
Who broke the streak ’
A) Jimmy Dykes
B) Earl Averill
. ? Bill t*i key
i?h*r It*
5) This play-r h 'd the nv*t horn»* runs u anyon«4
t ' 'vu. »hr htle with l*w*t »han 1 • .* RBB
Sandy Stembler
Youngs River
C onstruction & Painting
A • DU) •• .1 id«4!
B>D®ve 'hnson
O Harm»n Ktllebiew
) J Z D • Rico Petrocelh
6) Whi h >! th** e guys did not
their first ML gam e’
A' •' ssey Stengal
B »Mel Ott
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7) The nly player to homer in all four division'
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A) tick Allen
B' O tr Nixon
C) Ken Singleton
D) Dave Kingman
6) Eveiybody knows Carlton won 27 garn-s with
th* last place Phillies in 1972 Who collected th*4
most victories with a cellar-dweller in. the AL?
A) Dean Chance
B) Eddie Rommel
C) Nolan Ryan
D) Walter Johnson
9) Who was the only speed merchant tn lea 1 t»»th
leagues tn stolen bases’
A) Red Schoendienst
B) Ron Le Flore
C) Rock Raines
D) Lonnie Smith
10) The only catchers to lead their leagues in
triples. NL 6cAL
A) Daulton h Ferrell
B) McCarver & Fisk
C) Grote & Hegan
D) Crandall A Tenace
11) This man completed the mtergation >f th»«
majors the first black to play for the last all white
team
A) Carlos Paula
B) Tom Alston
C) Vic Powers
D) Pumpsie Green
12) Who is the only man who is enshrined tn
both the Football and Baseball Hall of Fame
A) Cal Hubbard
B) Jocko Conlan
C) Jim Thorpe
D) Clark Griffith
13) ^ 0 were the first NL A AL shortstops t
win the MVP Award’
A) Ernie Banks & Frankie Crosetti
B) Pee Wee Reese & Harvey Kuenn
C) Leo Durocher A Joe Cronin
D) Marty Marion & Lou Boudreau
14) Who was the only player to hit for the cycle
in both leagues’
A) Chris Chambliss
B) Bob Watson
C) Darrell Porter
D) Brett Butler
15) Which of these guys had two no-hitters’
A) Sonny Seibert
B) Sal Maglie
C) Bob Forsh
D) Ewell Blackwell
Pete - If you ace this one. Ill buy you dinner
•JLS
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