P age
b e a r T e rry .
[x # s n t e v e ry o n e ?
I m s ittin g on a b a rs to o l o n e n ig h t d r o w n in g
m y angst w it h Jack D aniels a n d cocoa. w h e n a
s tu n n in g y o u n g w o m a n p lo p s d o w n n e x t to m e
ask h o w it s g o in g she says lo u s y
San F ra n cisco
b ea r U n cle M ik e .
I
On h e r w a y to
she s been h ic c u p p in g
'h ic c o u g h in g , a c tu a lly » since S e a ttle
z
E ver th e good S a m a rita n I ask if she s tr ie d
I m r e c e n tly s in g le a fte r tw e lv e y e a rs of
m a rria g e
h a n g in g u p s id e d o w n fro m an oak b ra n c h w it h a
T he d a tin g g a m e su cks c o w o rk e rs are
o u t. I m to o o ld • 3 4 » fo r th e b a r scene
I m not
v ir g in b a d g e r s tra p p e d to h e r face w it h a s ilk
sca rf
C le a rly in no m ood fo r fu n . she asks th e
in to c e lib a c y a nd m a s tu rb a tio n o n ly ta k e s a
b a r m a id fo r a pap er n a p k in a nd a b o ttle o f
p e rs o n so fa r
b itte r s
H ere s m y q u e s tio n
I h a v e a lo n g
tim e m a le f r ie n d w h o s also s in g le n o w
W e ve
s u c k in g on it
L a te ly , w e v e s ta rte d f lir t in g
T h a t s th e p ro b le m
to h e a r it does it m ake a n y n oise?
R alph W , G a rib a ld i
b e a r R alph
b e a r L o n e ly ,
F o rg e t to ta k e o u r m e d ic in e aga in d id w e ?
Does w h a t w o rk o u t*' M a k in g lo v e w ith a
S ound, as y o u r d o c to r s h o u ld h a v e e x p la in e d
f r i e n d > Rogue th a t he once w as. U n cle M ik e
practice
to y o u . is e n e rg y to r mass, if y o u c o u n t h e a v y
n e v e r to be n a k e d w ith
m e ta l c o n c e rts and g un shots»
a n yo n e w h o s not
r ip p le s in th e a ir
I h a t y o u sig n y o u r s e lf L o n e ly is cause fo r
B e ing lo n e ly m eans n e v e r h a v in g to say
y o u e n jo y y o u r o w n c o m p a n y
se ldom m a k e good f r ie n d s
Those w h o d o n t
U n cle M ik e can re la te
to th e lim its o f c e lib a c y and p a rtn e rle s s s e i
But.
as his g r a n n y used to c ro o n as she b o u n c e d us on
h e r knee, n o t b e in g in v o lv e d is n a tu re s w a y o f
sa yin g , so w h a t?
IÛZ3
W h ile U ncle M ik e trie s n e v e r
S easide ., 0
\
?38-S$30
e g o c e n tric to im a g in e th a t w h e n y o u r ty m p a n ic
5U Y+SELL
m e m b ra n e s a re e ls e w h e re th e u n iv e rs e is
re d u c e d to m im in g
Just because y o u a re n t th e re doesn t m ean th e
fo re s t isn t
B a m b i and th e b u n n y r a b b its are. w e
HOPE L
w o u ld w a g e r, v e r y m u ch a w a re o f la rg e
p e r p e n d ic u la r p la n ts c ra s h in g in to th e t r illiu m s
to
h e a rts are in th e r ig h t place a nd n o one is u sin g
a n y o n e a r o ll on th e fu to n p r o b a b ly w o n t e n d a
On th e o th e r h a n d , it w ill d e fin it e ly
d y n a m ite th e s ta tu s q u o
For th e th o u g h tfu l,
th e re is no such th in g as casua l sex
M ik e suggests y o u t r y th e la u n d ro m a t
o r c h a in s a w s
303/ 325 2323
U n cle M ik e has tro u b le b e lie v in g a c e n tu r y o ld
o rg a n is im c o u ld c r y o u t in th e w ild e rn e s s if
e x p e rie n c e h a d n t ta u g h t it s o m e th in g w a s
On th e o th e r h a n d , sp e a k in g s t r ic t ly »and w e
S in i f i e u v r
r e a lly sh o u ld » th e a n s w e r to y o u r q u e s tio n is yes
books
1 he m o th e r o f a ll science is e m p irc is m . a
e tc .
b e lie f s y s te m w h ic h lim its r e a lit y to th a t w h ic h
As a n y m an w ill a tte s t,
can be m e a s u re d
w o m e n are ju s t as a b le to h it one o v e r th e head
a n d d ra g one in to th e ca ve as a n y post - G lo ria
th e p o o r sch m u ck
is b o u n d to be s w e a tin g as m u c h b lo o d as y o u
F
To m easure, o ne m u s t o b s e rv e
W ith o u t o b s e rv a tio n , th e re are n o e v e n ts and.
th e r e fo re , n o th in g th a t q u a lifie s as r e a lit y
I f y o u r a ssessm en t is c o rre c t and
e q u a tio n s
of
In th e
r
1 ^ \ J*'
q u a tu m m e chan ics w h e n y o u close
y o u r eyes, th e w o r ld goes a w a y
I C l A IS o e c O U N IV W (*A I N S CRISIS SERVICI
U n cle M ik e senses a c o n n e c tio n b e tw e e n th is
I n v it e h im fo r d in n e r and a s u b s ta n tiv e ch a t and
m a ke su re y o u h a v e an e x tra to o th b ru s h
T H E R A P IS T
and n o
S h o u ld y o u m a k e a g e s tu re ? W h a t are yo u ,
th e tw o o f y o u a re co f lir t in g
MASSAGE
b io c h e m ic a lly scream w h e n a tta c k e d b y disease
lis te n in g
If w hat
e ith e r o f y o u are lo o k in g fo r is a d a llia n c e U n cle
n e w o n th e p la n e t?
H A R R IS
L IC E N S E D
One s h o u ld also n o t fo rg e t th a t tre e s
As to w h e th e r y o u s h o u ld ta k e y o u r f r ie n d
b ed , h o w w o u ld U ncle M ik e k n o w ? I f y o u r
S te in e m m ale
B ooks < CM O S
m ade m a n ife s t b y
to la u g h at a n y o n e s p a ra d e , it m a y be a ta d
U n cle M ik e m a y liv e a lo n e b u t he is not
fr ie n d s h ip
M«mt<xk
CfaiAOA U»*| 43< 1301
Ph. 436-2932
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L o n e ly in Eugene
lo n e ly
I 33
C innam on R ota.
Pizza by tha Sbca
M uffin* Eapraaao
and Cooktaa
239 N H E M LO C K
o r d o th in g s lik e th is w o rk o u t?
c o n c e rn
CAHMOH beach
•O O K C O M P A H Y
FO I o . 634
b e a r U ncle M ik e
g e s tu re ? Is b e in g h o rn y |u s t m a k in g me s tu p id
it a
she s m ile d
Or
S h o u ld 1 ris k o u r fr ie n d s h ip a n d m a ke a
makes
W o rks e v e r y tim e ,
A n d fo r w h a t it s w o r th it d id
N o th in g o v e r t b u t th e c a rd s a re one th e ta b le
at least I th in k th e y are
She soaks th e c e n te r of th e n a p k in w it h
th e n a s ty s tu ff, tw is ts it in to a te a t a n d b e g in s
be e n b u d d ie s fo r y e a rs n o t q u ite b r o th e r and
s is te r b u t close
EAT
MORE
COOKIES
--------------- ——
3?S SZ3S
f-
a nd th e re c e n t d is c o v e ry th a t w a tc h in g te le v is io n
uses less e n e rg y th a t s ittin g on th e couch d o in g
n o th in g
b e a r U n cle M ik e .
Bruce E. N im s, P.C.
Got a c u re fo r th e h iccu p s?
C i g l i u t o PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT
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