The upper left edge. (Cannon Beach, Or.) 1992-current, May 01, 1993, Page 7, Image 7

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Is m y h u s b a n d
b e c o m in g a sexua l w h a c k o w h o II co m e to b e d one
n ig h t ,n a b u n n y s u it and c a r r y in g a m u m a s t e r 5
P ro b a b ly n o t
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To
see w h a t m a le p rim a te s d o w h e n th e ir
h r i> tin a S ta n le v R S , I l k
e n v ir o n m e n t doesn t s tim u la te th e m , a t r i p to the
zoo can be e m b a rra s s in g ly p o ig n a n t
Dear U ncle M ik e .
I had ray v e l p e r fo rm a tu b a l lig a tio n on m y
good case m ig h t be m ade b y fe m a le s e p a ra tis ts
M e d e la B re .i't P u m p
th a t th is is his p ro b le m , it h a r d ly a m o u n ts to a
R e n ta l S ta tio n
cat ia st y e a r and she s don e n o th in g b u t eat e v e r
since
Is she d e p re s s e d 5 S h o u ld I h a ve th e good
d o c to r u n tie h e r tu b e s so she can once again
else s w e t d re a m isn t y o u r g ig te ll h im so
p r o fo u n d s y m p a th y i You m ig h t w a n t to ask
she s
and th e s ig h t o f h e r
(503)416-0161
VIC TO R H. P IU C Y . m .R .
y o u r s e lf if he p u ts a ia cke t a nd tie o n o n ly w h e n
he fe e ls lik e it
m u n c h in g on k ib b le s a im le s s ly and w is h in g fo r
th e so u n d of th e can o p e n e r is v e r y sad
(On
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and s w e a tp a n ts th e p<x>r m ope has U n cle M ik e s
g ir lis h fig u r e b a c k 5 Please U n cle M ik e . I k n o w
o n ly tw o in cat y e a rs
t’ O Box 201
I f w e a rin g lin g e rie as tra n s p a r e n t as som eone
th e o th e r h a n d if y o u re in to c h e n ille b a th ro b e s
a ttr a c t th e o p p o s ite sex p ro c re a te and get h e r
fo r a fa c t yo u re a lm o s t seven in dog y e a rs
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fo r it is
in d e e d th e o n ly th e o n ly m u sic she dances to
a lte r n a tiv e s
a n y m o re
436-9225
y o u g ig g le t i l l y o u v o m it, t r o t o u t som e
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m ig h s h rie k at yo u . n o t a ll e ro tic a is ra p e
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in tim id a t in g and has fo u n d th a t, aside fro m
o s tric h p lu m e s and r id in g cro p s, th e o n ly m a rita l
Dear Iris ,
a id s th a t r e a lly d e liv e r are flo w e r s a nd h on est
F irs t th e b ad n ew s
Y o u r v e t a lm o s t c e r ta in ly
d id n o t p e rfo rm a tu b a l lig a tio n o n y o u r cat
d e c la ra tio n s o f lo v e
As
A b o v e all.
spice y o u r h u s b a n d is su g g e stin g , tr o t o u t som e o f
o v a rie s
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U nless y o u fin d a d o n o r and y o u r cat has
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th e e f f o r t 5 L ig h t a fe w ca n d le s, s lip in to th e tu b ,
as f e r t ile as she II e v e r be
get h im tip s y on ch e a p c h a m p a g n e th e n la k e h im
W h a t, p ra y
te ll, is she supp ose to d o 5 P la y m ah |ong w ith the
B o b K ite L . A i .
W h a t are y o u s a y in g he s n o t w o r th
e le e lle n i m e d ic a l co ve ra g e , th e lit t le d o w a g e r is
to b e d a n d b u r n th e m an d o w n
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m anage a th re e s , he d o u b ts th e ir u t il it y in y o u r
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th e house, y o u m ig h t c o n s id e r g e ttin g h e r a pet
w’ ith s p ir it
U n cle M ik e u n d e rs ta n d s th e y w o rk w o n d e rs
th e r a p e u tic v a lu e o f a d iv o rc e
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s u p p o rt g ro u p s I f she is th e o n ly n o n h u m a n in
dances to
—
M onica if y o u don t lik e th e s o rt o f
d o w it h fe m a le cats is re m o v e th e u te ru s and
she m u n ch e s a im le s s ly on k ib b le s
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Dear U n cle M ik e
Have y o u tr ie d Jam es B r o w n 5
I m et th is r e a lly cool g u y a m o n th ago and
w e ve be e n seeing each o th e r once o r tw ic e a
Dear U ncle M ik e ,
w e e k since
A fte r fiv e y e a rs o f m a rria g e , m y h u s b a n d has
d e c id e d o u r lo v e life needs s p ic in g up
I v e gone
W e h a v e a g re a t tim e to g e th e r, he s a
lo t o f fu n a nd re a l good lo o k in g
The o n ly
p ro b le m is he w a n ts to h a v e sex
I to ld h im I
along so fa r. b u t V ic to ria s S ecret lin g e rie s m akes
need to k n o w h im b e lte r
me fe e l g ift w ra p p e d , p o rn o flic k s are s illy w h e n
g e ttin g f r u s t r a te d and h u r t
th e y re n o t d is g u s tin g , and d ild o s a re n t m y idea
can t g u y s ta k e no fo r an a n s w e r 5
o f fu n
I m 30, h a v e n t liv e d a s h e lte re d life , and
He ke e p s t r y in g and
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1 m s u re no p ru d e , b u t o u r sex is s ta rtin g to lo o k
lik e p e rfo rm a n c e a rt
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e v e r fa n ta s iz e d a b o u t h a v in g a n o th e r w o m a n in
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bed
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I asked h im if he d re a m e d a b o u t s in g in g in
th e V ie n n a Boy s C h oir
A m I o u t o f to u c h o r is
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It s ju s t th a t th e ir e x p e rie n c e w ith
w o m e n teaches th e m th a t a n s w e rs are
M o n ica T . P o rtla n d
c o n d itio n a l
U ncle M ik e has no idea h o w o ld y o u
are. o r h o w lo ng y o u ve sp e n t slo g g in g th ro u g h
Dear M o n ica
th e p e r fu m e d tre n c h e s o f lo ve , b u t he has an
S o unds lik e b o th o f y o u are
In U ncle M ik e s
im p o s s ib le tim e b e lie v in g th a t (e v e n a fte r a
im p e c c a b ly u n p ro fe s s io n a l o p in io n w h a t w e ve
m o n th ) y o u h a v e n t n o tic e d th a t th e b io lo g ic a l
got h e re are th e u n f u lfilla b le e x p e c ta tio n s of tw o
im p e r a tiv e th a t d r iv e s b o y h u m a n s is w ild ly
m e m b e rs o f a lie n sexual life fo r m s
d iff e r e n t fro m th e one th a t m akes g ir l h u m a n s
T h a t the
s u r v iv a l o f th e species d e p e n d s o n th e c o u p lin g
of
p r e fe r to w a lk
m a tc h e d o rg a n is m s w h ic h b a r e ly in h a b it th e
R e gardle ss w h a t y o u h e a r on D onahue, m en
sam e p e rc e p tu a l u n iv e rs e is, in case y o u h a v e n t
and w o m e n are a lik e o n ly to th e e x te n t th a t th e y
n o tic e d , th e p lo t s tru c tu r e fo r m u ch o f w h a t those
b o th w a lk e re c t and b re a th e a ir
o ld e n o u g h to la u g h a b o u t it c a ll th e h u m a n
s e lf h e lp b o o ks and s e iu a lly c o rre c t
com edy
b u m p e rth o u g h ts w i ll n o t ch a n g e th is
Yes. it s h o u ld h a v e com e w ith
in s tru c tio n s and a la u g h tra c k
A m illio n
No m a tte r
how' s e n s itiv e R o b e rt B ly g ro u p ie s becom e, o r
h o w s e iu a lly a v a ric o u s C a lv in K le in m odels m a y
• • a sa.
seem , te s to s te ro n e is n o t e s tro g e n and n e v e r w i ll
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be
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U n cle M ik e suggest y o u d e c id e if th is p e rs o n
in te re s ts y o u as a lo v e r, th e n act on y o u r
L IC E N S E D
MASSAGE
T H E R A P IS T
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