LETTERS TO THE EDGE
I
One quiet Tuesday in February. I sal reading in
my shop, Sometimes a Great Lotion Three
teenage girls came in and started trying on some
of our most eipensive lingerie It was obvious
they were trying to hide what was going in and
out of the dressing room One girl left, but I
confronted the other two There were five empty
hangers in the dressing room and one on the
rack I told them to give (the goods) back and I
wouldn't call the police They ran I called the
police and (Xficer Hatch arrived in less than five
minutes Before long he discovered that the girls
were in town w ith a group from their private ski
academy They were packing up their vans
outside of The Waves Motel but the girls were
nowhere in sight Soon they showed up and
(Xficer Hatch called me to come and identify
them
1 have trouble standing up to people, but he
backed me up 100%. and after a half hour of
trying to break them down, we got back the $150
worth «X merchancise from my shop
In the process, one <X their instructors also
found a bag fu ll (X icwelry A couple (X days
later, the girls returned stolen merchandise to El
Mundo for Women. Maggies. I believe the
Criterion, and who knows where else* *
Since that time, 1 have told many people what
happened 1 always mentioned that I was
grateful to (Xficer Hatch for holding his ground
even when it seemed like the girls w'ould never
quit lying
What I discovered is that (Xficer Hatch is well
liked by the citizens <X Cannon Beach He seems
to have a g<x>d sense <X when to go for a bust or
when being fel, as a presence is more
appropriate People also seem to see him as a
member tX the community rather than a
separated Big Brother figure Like many people
in Cannon Beach. I have had my frustrations with
o u r p o lice
H o w e v e r, th is in c id e n t has r e m in d e d
me that they are also here to protect us and I am
grateful
Jennifer Myers
business owner
Dear Beloved Rev Billy & The Upper Left Edge
For a while now. we've been trying to think <X
an event or circumstance that has been truly out
(X the ordinary, off the wall fun. inspirational
socially and politically meaningful and counter
culturish
Sounds nearly improbable But what we came
up w ith was the Oregon Country Fair, a yearly
gathering <X people into a variety <X art. dance,
theatre, crafts, music, social and environmental
concerns
We love going to the FAIR It is original, has a
social conscience and is void (X crass, mass
commercialism But the rest <X the year it s back
to (semi) normalicy (Salons also put us to sleep )
We think the idea is loo good to occur in a single
event only once a year, (unless there are other
smaller local festivals or gatherings we re
unaware <X) It would be nice to carry on this
spirit locally and in to oth er times of the year
We don I have grand ideas (X organizing on a
big scale or throwing a maior event, but we
would like to form a network!s) of people w ith
creative ideas of smaller gatherings
We re located in the forested foothills of the
Coast Range, halfway between the coast and
Portland We could imagine a network of
networks (X people between these areas
Upper Left Edge readers who are interested in
this idea can w rite to
Carol Jean and Don
HCR 61. Boi 75 X
BANKS, OR 9 7 1 0 6
Thanks.
Don and C J.
Dear Policy Makers
I am w riting this letter in response to a
disheartening eiperience I had while visiting the
Oregon Coast in Gearhart, Oregon Although the
incident described in this letter is but a part of
the environmental degradation we are lacing on a
global scale there are several important
differences II is happening right here at home,
and it is easily remedied
My w ile and I recently traveled to the fabled
Oregon Coast anxious to see and hear its beauty
and to refresh out spirits in its vastness We
carried with us that wonderful anticipation that
soon we would be walking along a clean sandy
beach with the great Pacific Ocean spread out
before us
We began our trek through the beach grass and
over the dunes to the beach As we neared the
top (X the last dune. I could hear the roar of the
ocean and feel its dampness We hastened our
pace to arrive at the spectacular ocean view we
knew awaited us
What we saw instead were cars And car
tracks Everywhere It was as X somebody had
turned the beach into a parking lot All that was
missing was the supermarket
I was devastated (X all (he places I was
certain would be unmarred by the noise and
pollution and ugliness of cars
it was a beach on
the Oregon coast But there they were Cars full
of people looking for a place to picnic, pickups
towing horse trailers looking for a place to ride
and four wheelers tearing up the dunes
all
apparently mindless <X the irony (X their very
presence
How can this be? Cars are bad enough on the
highway, where they drip oil and belch out the
pollutants that are darkening and destroying our
atmosphere Why are they allowed here in this
beautiful but fragile place where they can do
much greater harm and are so utterly
unnecessary?
For those members (X the Oregon Coast tourist
industry who read this letter, until the cars are
banned from the beach you can forget about my
dollars I w ill be spending them on postage for
more letters like this one which I hope w ill in
turn keep more people away from Gearhart s
automobile befouled beaches For those policy
makers reading this letter, please lake immediate
action to correct this unfortunate situation
Oregon should not have to suffer cars on its
beautiful sand dunes and beaches
Sincerely.
Jaaes L Olmsted
OSBORNE STUDIO & GALLERY
IMAGI S FOR I HI. AI S I III ITCALLY STRONG
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Coming to P o w e ll's Purple Room
ttancay May I Oth •# 7 50pm
John Fronm oger w ill read from his
new book Leaving Town A liv e
C o nfession s of on A rt W a rrio r
lUurrcK itrr toct may to
3 W
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P v
Okay. 1 ve got this idea how> we
can save the world, no reailyl
is anyone still reading? well. 1
don t know if I would be I ve
heard it before and so have you If
we don t save the whales or the
Ozone o r stop the Nukes o r recycle
the garbage we are going to be
history and if we do do all those
things it still won t he loo good
I ve done my share (X in the street
and ,n your face and in the system
and the only person who made
total sense was Denis Hayes (the
guy w ho founded Earth Day. was in
the Carter Administration and has
impeccable Environmental
Credentials) He said until we
solve the population problem, all
the other problems w ill just
m ultiply
Grim huh? There are just too
many of us (There isn t really a
them ) And if we can t make a
rational decision to control our
population then Nature, human
and physical, w ill bring our
numbers down Our old favorites
War. Pestilence. Famine, and
Disease w ill make up our future
Still Grim But I really do have a
small idea And since it is my idea,
I would like to start it on my
Birthday. June 2 To wit
m snail ne
LINBIRTHDAY* iwe re still working
on the name, okay?) And on this
day throughout the world, no one
shall conceive a child Through
whatever means each shall decide,
abstinence, sale sex, beastiality, I
don t care, (really I don t), that is
your own business but no
conception* Okay, so around March
2. 1994 or so the World Population
takes a dip A small one true, but 1
can imagine the planet taking in a
quick gulp (X breath a momentary
pause The normal deaths occur
and our headlong mathematical
rush to destruction hiccups, and
moves on But we would notice,
and maybe |une 2 1994 we could
go for a week (X not making more
of us? A month in 95, the Summer
fX 96? If we could take a whole
year and do something else other
than reproduce -- Wow* I'm not
saying don t have sex* But if your
religious beliefs prohibit you from
having sex for any purpose other
than reproduction, and prohibits
birth control metht>ds, well, you
might have to consider it a
spiritual quest, a sacrifice for the
betterment of all Just think, no
conception, no abortions The
w’hole planet working on a
problem in all the different ways
possible And things beginning to
get better for everybody, more
space, less pollution, more
aw areness So what do you say.
World, for my Birthday either do it
carefully, or keep it in your pants
Thanks And tell a friend soon, we
don t have much nme to get this
started
i n a i ju n e z i