Editorial
Now & Then
Dev. Ilults
What a long strange year it s
been The paper you hold in your
hand was at this time Iasi year a
four pager 'one broadsheet) that
was more or less one big ad for
Upper Left Coast Productions music
listings, w ith a blurb on recycling
some pithy sayings a little home
grown philosophy by Dr karkeys
and some lovely line drawing by
Ms Lackaff A merciful few of the
one thousand eiamples printed
remain This present issue has
sixteen pages and a press run of
five thousand
In the last year we have
introduced you to a lot of folks
who live w rite draw play music,
run businesses, and are concerned
about life on the Edge in the
Valley, in the Northwest in this
country, and on this planet We
have attempted to be a different
voice, a voice that does not shout
in your face, but speaks to your
heart and your brain Some folks
think we have a lot of ads. so we
make a lot of money No, we are
not running these ads for the
money though without money we
can l run these ads These ads are
a directory of people in business
whom we think our readers
deserve to know about Some are
doing well enough or like what we
are doing enough to support us So
enioy the paper, enjoy the ads and
we hope to be talking to you again
next issue and next year
I n
j p
r e
R
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L
r r E
D
&
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I
E a ito r /P a b lis h e r The Beloved
Reverend Billy Lloyd Hulta
A ssisto al E d ito r /G r a p h ic i E d ito r
The Wonderful Ms SaJly Louise la c k a ff
l a p r a r is a t i a a a i E a g ia e e r Dr
Karkeys
V i l d l i f e / M a t i c R e p o rte r Peter
Spud Siegel
S cience E d ito r /V e ic e o f Renton
Michael Burgess
E n v ir e n a e n t o l C o n s u lta n t
Kathleen K rush as
F o re ig n C o rre s p o n d e n t Bill
Wicklsnd
C o rre s p o n d e n t nt la rg e Soup
M e a n v k ile ia N o w p o rt Alei
LaFolleUe
Lncnl C olor Peter Lindsey Alison
Pride Mary Ann Radmacher-Hershey
Margi Curtis Tom Carlson and many
more
M r. Baseball Himself
On th e edge Dave Bartholet
and a Cast of Thousands1
more stuff ...
Your beloved Rev /Ed is just a
little upsei’ Not unusual in itself,
but this lime there is more than
ample reason
Oregon is a unique slate We
have a history of wanting to get
on with it and solve our problems
w ith what used to be called
common sense W’e are famous for
our Bottle Bill, we already have a
Motor Voter Bill, when the Energy
Crisis happened our Gov Tom
McCall (the last Republican your
editor had the privilege of voting
fo ri suggested we could cut gas
lines in half w ith an odd/even
license plate plan and we also
have the Initiative process,
originally called the Oregon
Solution This is our method of
direct voting by the people to deal
with problems the Legislature is
unwilling or unable to handle
Some good and some bad things
have resulted from this type of
direct Democracy’ Measure 5 sent a
very clear message that property
taxes in Oregon were too high and
that people wanted the Stale to
trim the fat Now they are unable
to handle that
We are threatened w ith cuts to
the bone in education, human
services and the largest campaign
so far in a long history of thwarted
Sales Tax schemes
So this Legislature must be
aw fully busy dealing w ith Ihese
issues
Right? No! Guess what s
on the front burners lately'
Whether every house m Oregon
should be required to have a
firearm available and someone
who can use it' Disbanding ihe
Ways and Means Committee so
that it is twice as difficult to decide
who spends whai where And of
course where the City of Cannon
Beach puts the money n collects
from Motel Taxes and our local
laws as they concern Short Term
Rentals'
Apparently Rep Calouri has a
few empty units in the Tolovana
Inn during the w'inier and would
like some of the city tax money to
go to promoting tourism (Might we
suggest a fu ll page ad in the Edge?)
House Bill 3322 it s not just going
to keep Cannon Beach busy all
winter, it w ill keep ihe Legislature
busy doing anything but what they
are payed to do' (Oh we mean
their salaries Not what they earn
on the side i
And then there is HB 2747.
which concerns itself w ith zoning
laws in Cannon Beach and Seaside
We are told there are more
important issues at stake than
w’hal it is like to live in a resort,
issues like, who owns the resort'
The old Golden Rule Those w ith
the (»old make the Rules1 Of course
a would allow you to open a Bed &
Breakfast m Lake Oswego
Please folks, what about doing
w hat you were elected to do You
can work for your buddies and
vour own interests on your own
time solve the big problems firs t'
W’e can muddle along trying in our
own small town way to deal w ith
our problems here You have
enough to do'
Just a suggestion
You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time, but you
can't fool all of the people all of the time.
A. Lincoln
You can fool too many of the people, too much
of the time.
J. Thurbcr
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Michael B u rg e s
Behind
Jthe
Time«
Another mystery has risen from
the foggy bottom land of Salem
W'e II call this one The Case of the
Per loaned Commission
Say you lived in a slate where
blood sport was the custom where
humans were not just encouraged
to hit each other about the head
and chest and stomp each other s
soft body tissues, but were paid to
do it while others watched, ate
popcorn and drank beer After
100 years of concussions retinal
detachments and body damage vile
and various you d probably
(unless your population included
nothing hut sociopaths I lay down a
few ground rules This is the
persuasive logic that led to the
formation of the Oregon Boxing and
Wrestling Commission in 1985
Now we come to the mystery As
we speak, the Commerce
Committee (Business R L’s lo fth e
Stale House of Representatives
(Smothering Heights) is quietly
suffocating an ugly duckling HB
2125 is a funding measure that
would levy a 6 percent tax on pay-
per-view boxing and wrestling
events Having no shame. HB 2125
would ask the Don kings of the
world (a k a . Those With Diamond
Pinky Rings! to leave some scraps
on the table after loading the cash
in the trucks Were Don and the
Boys to take time from lighting
cigars to think about it. they would
see it w as a nice gesture lor those
at the top of the food chain to
underwrite regulation of the local
events whose gate receipts they
ritua lly gut
Well, they might
It s a better bet that, if HB 2 1 25
dies m committee, so w ill the
Boxing and Wrestling Commission
With its fiscal plug pulled, the
agency would be a toy poodle flung
into an alligator pond Local
promoters I who by tradition, are
hilariously unable to regulate
themselves' w ill take ofl the
gloves and get back to business -
tough guy brawls in saloons,
pretend ring names, fanciful w in-
loss sheets and Friday nights with
cocaine steroid cowboys slicing
their foreheads w ith razor blades,
bashing each other w ith folding
chairs and las m the case of Art
Barr' sexually assaulting fans on
back stairways
Ah. the good old days
For those w ith the brains (kxJ
gave a two by four, questions
natually arise Who would want to
deregulate sports w hich if
performed on the streets would
lead to arrests? And w h y ’
The man with the answers is
Sneaker of the House Larry Boom-
Boom Campbell Here s how
things work in the fog filled back
rooms of Salem (Grease City). If a
bill has anything to do w ith money,
and what doesn t. it must originate
in the House It s Bixim Boom s job
to assign bills to committees whose
leadership owe their position 'or
political hfei to him By tradition.
Boom Boom also gets to tell them
which get to the House floor and
which get put into a canvas bag
and pitched into the Willamette
:
HO
When v e got into office, the thing
that surprised a e aost was to find
that things were just as bad as we d
been saying they w ere
John F. Kennedy