rain soaked local wheels his disabled
machine into the local service station at
9pm At M 3(1 am the n e il morning the
motorcycle is seen in the parking lot of a
local grocery store
10am the same motorcycle is seen in
Whale Park And ve let the local peace
officers continue the story
On
12 20 t2 ¡ ¡ n b n Ofc Mai th e v s and /
issued a parking citation to a Hoads rjOcc
motorcycle im properly parked at Whole
P a rt A fter ru n n in g Hie vehicle through
LEDS and NC1C d isp a tc h a d v ise d the
motocyde was listed as stolen from San
iro n cisco to July /9 S f Ofc Zbmden was
stationed at the C B Conference Center m
an un marked u nit where he could keep a
visual on the motorcycle Ofc Matthews
vas stationed t wo blocks av a y to assist m
the arrest i f necessary I remained mobile
m the area A short tim e later 1 advised
Ofc Zb in den that a male sub ¡eel vas
walking toward the motorcycle and was
carrying a helmet When the suh/ect
reached the motorcycle and began
mo n a g it to ward the street Ofc Zbmden
and 1 mo ved tn and arrested the sub/eel
without incident ' The su b let was
described as follows race white Eye
color blue Hair color brown Hair
length long Hair style w avy/curly
Facial hair sideburns Build thin
Completion medium General
appearance, casual and dirty, speech low
pitched and raspy miscellaneous, calm
(From CBPD Report)
The 'male subiect" tells it this way
As I approached the service station,
where I had left the bike the night before, I
realized something was wrong Some prankster
had moved my cycle to the center of a park
where it sat happily with a parking ticket wafting
in the breeze No matter, a ticket would givo
rne something to not think about today I was
determined to enjoy myself I began to back it
down to the sidewalk when my thoughts were
mterupted by someone yelling the word
’ Freeze!’
I was going to ignore this too. bu,
some excitement usually follows that word so I
glanced up to see a plain clothes policeman
pointing a very nasty looking pistol at my face I
looked dumbly at this very nervous looking man
with the gun wondering when I was going to
wake up I heard another voice yell ’ Get down
on your hands and knees!’ At this point I was
faced with an interesting problem If I were to
keep my hands aloft and get down on my knees,
600 pounds of motorcycle were going to fall on
top of me probably sending my jumpy friends
with firearms into a shooting spree I explained
my perdicamen, as calmly as possible, engaged
the kickstand, and slowly got on the ground
realizing this was no dream Five police cars
and at least as many officers later I have a knee
in the back of my neck, my head is being
wrenched back by my hair, handcuffs have been
cranked down so tight that they have
successfully cut off the circulation to my hands,
while there is a gun trained to me ’ covering rne
from escape’ So much for Sunday'
I managed to find words as my face was
pushed into Ihe ground, "Uh Excuse rne \A/ha,
the holt is going on?* I was caught off gaurd
when they toid me that rny bike hab been
reported stolen and I was the feloney suspect
’ Its a mistake ’ I replied ’ It's my bike ’
I was lifted off the ground as I explained who I
was, that I lived here in town and worked as a
carpenter, «ha, I wasn't going to run o „ yelling,
’ you’ll never take me alive coppers,* Could we
please loosen the cuffs a bit? No
Snappy
retorts run through my head. ’ Seen one too
many Dirty Harry flicks eh?* I held my tongue,
we m usnl make this any worse 'Take rne to
my house then
I have the title to the bike
there ’
After much deliberation an entourage of
police cars bristling with man and fire power
proceeds to my house Oh well, there goes Ihe
neighborhood After being led. shackled, into
my house. I show them where to find the title
and the phone number of the guy I bought it
from
I expect, now, tha, my ever so tight
bracelets will be removed and we can sit down
with tha, elusive cup of coffee and sort this
whole thing out Wrong again
The day dragged on
Taken to the
station and searched, my clothes thrown to the
ground, and locked in a cell without a ben or
shoelaces By this time I'm in a perfectly ugly
mood ’ I wan, to call my lawyer'* They'll ge, to
that, which subsequently they didn't ’ And bring
me a goddamned cup of coffee'"
This I
repeated so many times that they finnally
warmed up some stale instant crap jus, to shut
me up I was finally read my rights an hour and
a half after my ’ detainment*, which I later
explained lo Rambo and his buddies was a little
late, considering tha, anything I said before that
time was madmissable in court, and tha, they
should be more careful with ’ dangerous
criminals’ like myself
They hemmed and
hawed and read me my rights a second time
(Jus, to be sure) and asked i, I would be willing
to tell them my name, heigh, D O B , etc
Which I did considering they had my liscense
any way
I was then photoed. pnnted four
times, and generally harassed until they
couldn't think of any more indignities to subject
me to
Then with half the day gone I was
released with the taste of very bad cofee in my
mouth
I wasn't shot, or hurt, too bad I didn't,
according to my captors, have my rights
violated Altthough i, was never mentioned In
the police report that they had drawn they're
guns for no reason
Yet. aside from being
asked not to leave town until it was worked out
(which it finally was. a mistake had been made
in the paper work of some police department)
nothing has changed
Except, of course, the
fac, tha, I had guns pointed a, me. and tha, I
was manhandled to the ground in front of the
entire town were I'm trying to make it as a
contractor I can't seem to ge, the nightmare
out o, my head of some rookie cop shooting me
by accident I feel abused and pissed off. and
aside from everything else, they took away my
Sunday,
Apperently they had legal right to do
everything they did. bu, this is Cannon Beach
for Chris, sake I don't live in the city, because
of this sort of thing and I arn no, a cnminal
Where do these yahoos ge, o „ pointing there
guns a, me? I, I had been approached by a
person who said. ’ Excuse me. sir Could I ask
you a few questions?* I probably would have
bough, him a cup of coffee and sat down with
to talk in a civilized manner
Instead far too
many overtime hours, from our ’ underfunded’
police department went into staking ou, my
machine, while T J Hooker and Colombo
fantasized about their tug bust
Something is
definitly wrong with this picture Do these kind
of people and tactics really belong in Cannon
Beach? Are we really tha, paranoid?
Its food for thought Our police seem to
have quite a reputation for being, shall we say,
over zealous in then work I, may be time to
take a closer look at these people if for no other
reason, so tha, you can be confident tha, when
addressed by the word ’ freeze’ it means to be
careful of the dangerous roads, and no, the
dangerous people
I learned quite a lesson from this whole
experience, when your Sunday rolls around, no
matter what day it is. stay in bed
David Miottel
IS ENROLLMENT CLOSED?
by
Sure O'Banion
Again from the CBPD Miottel was
fin g erp rin ted photographed and
re le a s e d a t 1JJ0 h r s The m o to rc y c le was
impounded at Gary s Arco
So what is the mystery’ How did the
motorcycle gel from the service station to
the grocery store’ How did the
motorcycle gel from the grocery store to
the Whale Park’ The CBPD list three
officers involved The subject mentions
five Who were the other officers’
County Sheriffs’ Who called them and
why? Why were weapons drawn’ Why
wasn t this mentioned in the report’ How
did the CBPD write a parking ticket gel a
check from California (which was
wrong) set up a slake out call the
S heriff and gel two deputies to the scene
wait un til the subject showed up bust
him take him to his home take him to the
station, run him for priors read him his
rights after an hour and a half in jail
(twelve fourty five?) etc and have him
back on the streets in the record time of
two hours fifteen minutes total? How
much did this cost?
If you can figure out this mystery please
write us at the Edge We might even give
a prize for the best the funniest and the
real solution Your lawyers can call our
lawyers
In times like these, it helps to recall
that th ere have ALWAYS been lim es
like these
Paul Harvey
On a co ld day in January,
as I w aited fo r my h o t, black
cup o f co ffe e to c o o l, I began
skimming THE UPPER LEFT EDGE.
In to my f i r s t s ip , I spo tted ,
s u r fe r , Emily von H in c k e ld e y 's
review o f Kenny D oudt's book
S u rfin g w ith the Great White
• ’ As I read the re p rin te d
ja c k e t t r a i l e r , a fla s h o f ad­
m ira tio n burned through my mind
and I inhaled deeply a t the
thought o f s u rfin g the icy
P a c ific . THAT'S HOOTZPAH!
As I read her words, I
found m yself drawn in to von
H in c k e ld e y 's use o f ea rth y
ly ric is m s , comraderic nicknames,
and s u rf lin g o . Her use o f
surfese s u c c e s s fu lly conveyed
the e x c lu s io n a ry message th a t
no newcomers are welcome to
th is complex, dangerous, i n t i ­
mate, e th e re a l w o rld . How v e t­
eran must a veteran be? How
lo c a l must a lo c a l be?
von H in c k e ld e y 's review
was not my f i r s t in tro d u c tio n
to s u r fin g , however; i t was the
s t o r y t e llin g o f a P oint Old
Timer which f i r s t apprised me
o f many nuances o f th is spo rt
and l i f e s t y l e . P a r tic u la r ly
d is q u ie tin g were h is ta le s o f
fie r c e t e r r i t o r i a l ism and pos­
sessiveness in th is s u rfin g
Shanqr1- l a .
This lonqtim e veteran,
h im s e lf a past v ic tim o f the
humbling, fo rc e fu l hand o f the
sea, spoke w ith tremendous pas­
s io n , c o n v ic tio n , and open s e lf-
righteousness ; the P o in t has
been h1s b a iliw ic k fo r almost
two decades. This man makes no
excuses fo r h is s u rf-p re s e rv a -
tio n a l a ttitu d e s toward abusers
o f the P oints u n w ritte n bylaws.
Although a "beginning
s u r f e r , " von Hinckeldey seems
to have alre ad y adopted an
e l i t i s t a tt it u d e and uses her
review to warn n o n su rfe rs, i. e .
nonmembers, "IF YOU DON'T SURF
NOW, DON'T START". This d is ­
p o s itio n can be expected o f
those who have surfed the Cove
and P oint fo u r-s c o re seasons,
not a s e lf-p ro c la im e d newcomer.
The Old Timers have been se­
duced by th is s u rf fo r years
and h a ve n 't the d e s ire to share
her favo rs w ith o u ts id e rs ; not
w ith o u t proper i n i t i a t i o n -
some pass, some d o n 't.
It
would appear th a t von Hinckeldey
has passed; and, lik e oth e rs in
the s u rfin q s e c t, would lik e to
m ain tain e x lu s iv e r ig h ts to th is
patch o f b rin e - understandably!
Who wants to share such a lover?
E s p e c ia lly those who have taken
the time to know her every c o rn e r,
curve, c a rre s s , te m p e r,... her
c lim a x .
Although I do not s u r f, I
have managed to absorb a v ic a rio u s
basic understanding o f the w orld
o f lo c a ls and s u r fin g .
I can r e ­
la te to the concerns o f these
longtim e s u rfe rs and t h e ir p ro ­
te c tiv e , m a te rn a lIs tic in s tin c ts :
i f too nwny people disco ver th is
p la ce , it s s t i l l p r is t in e , i n t i ­
mate. unique atmosphere w i l l be
a lte re d fo re v e r. However, w ith
a ll do re s p e c t, th is expression
o f e lit is m echoes, too c lo s e ly ,
the o th e r 'ism s th a t plague th is
p la n e t.
Is th is not an u n s e ttl­
ing Iro ny since what w e're d is -
cusslnq is an ominous power whose
a n cie n t forces gave a l l o f us lif e ?
This s a lty mother d o s e n 't d is c r im i­
nate against anyone w illin q to r is k
i t a l l on her v e rtig in o u s waves -
can o r should, then, humans?
I perceive the Cove, and o th e r
spots lik e i t , as sacrosanct. P er­
s o n a lly , I would not attem pt to
s u rf these waters w ith o u t an in v ita
tio n from a re s id e n t s u r fe r ; th is
is as much out o f fe a r o f open r e ­
t a lia t io n and c o lle c t iv e back­
lash as the u n p re d ic ta b le power
o f the wave.
von Hinckeldey w rite s a
seemingly since re review o f
Kenny Doudt’ s book and s u rfin g
in g e n e ra l. She succeeds in
ro m a n tic iz in g and t a n t i l i z in g
the u n in itia te d w ith her in ­
tr ig u in g d e s c rip tio n s w h ile de­
nying them access to these
te m p ta tio n s.
I t is re v e a lin g
th a t, ra th e r than o f f e r empathy
and in s tr u c tio n to the neophyte,
von Hinckeldey merely teases w ith
her c o q u e ttis h come-ons. I t is
easy to get the im pression, in
von H in c k e ld e y 's f in a l statem ent,
th a t she views h e rs e lf as a b o n i­
fie d member o f th is t ig h t c liq u e
as w e ll as the s e lf-a p p o in te d en­
lis tm e n t o f f ic e r . She's i n . . .
now e n ro llm e n t is clo se d . Per­
haps von Hinckeldey should r e ­
th in k Kenny D oudt's advice,
"You ju s t have to liv e . There
is no o th e r way".
Indeed, a man
lik e Kenny Doudt is an in s p ir a ­
tio n - to a l l o f us. His e x p e ri­
ence d id n 't stop him from sharing
th is form o f Zen w ith h is sons;
lik e w is e , von H in c k e ld e y 's warn­
ing s h o u ld n 't stop o th e rs .
& > l ) IUV//ÌR
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