The upper left edge. (Cannon Beach, Or.) 1992-current, December 01, 1992, Page 3, Image 3

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    Wickland at large.
On my scale, I gave the election of Bill Clinton
my top rating of three jesuses.
jesus. Jesus! JESUS!
And later 1 went Jesus H. Christ! I think the "11"
in that stands for "Holy."
I don't know from "Holy." Then* might be both
good and bad, and good' might be that which
promotes our continuing to exist; bad might be
that which works noticeably to promote our de­
struction.
Is there an afterlife? That is the central question
of philosophy Religions grow out of the accep­
tance that there indeed is
an afterlife, and that
things one does in this
life can affect one's level
of happiness in the next
life.
The point is that after­
life doesn't matter until
after this life If there is
nothing after we appear
to be dead, then there is
simply nothing No thing
No pain, no joy.
If, after we die, w*e can
still for some reason feel
pain or joy, then we
haven't really ended;
we've just changed We
are either eternal or we
aren't. I kind of think that
we are eternal, but that
there is no capital God
It is what we make it It is
took.ng knowledge««,
also the scene in which we look around and find
ourselves. We change the scene in which we find
ourselves. It is not that we can change the scene; it
is simply that we äo change the scene We can’t
help it.
So, is there life after Republicans? Of course
What will it be like? Who knows, except that it
will keep changing It is good that more voters
opted for the "change" concept on November
Third than voted to keep the status quo, because
change was already going on
We don't really have "Republicans and "Demo­
crats" any more, anyway We have Capitalists,
who have won it all and are busy working at creat­
ing a "level playing field" on which global corpora­
tions can pay us about the same wages and sell us
stuff at about the same prices everywhere on the
planet. It is simply easier on the accounting staff
that way.
For twelve years, we have been ruled by short­
sighted Capitalists, who think they can take every­
thing from us, and somehow we ll still be able to
buy stuff from them. That had to change I sense
that Clinton's Capitalists understand better that
"They, The People," must be kept reasonably
healthy and happy, and that they must have a few
pennies more than they really need Then the Cap­
italists compete for those pennies. They Jon‘t really
care how much money they have, as long as they have
managed to gather more of those pennies than the
next guy. It's all a percentages game to Ross.
That said, I propose three changes that might not
happen if I don't get you thinking about them But
remember: it really doesn't matter We are some­
times happy, sometimes sad; sometimes rich,
sometimes poor; we make it or we don't under any
economic pattern
First and biggest change: the calendar. We've
been operating under a white male Christian cal­
endar for two centuries We've been getting ready
for the Year 2000, w hen things will Lx* perfect We
blew it; we can tell already that things won t be
perfect by the Year 2000.
So we don't have the Year 2000. We go ahead
with New Year's Eve, 1999, because too many
plans have been made for that already But the
next day will not be 1-1-2000 We pick a new start­
ing date for our new world mail order calendar
This is not new Calendars change. Not every­
body goes by our calendar any way, except in busi­
ness with us. When I was in the Persian Gulf in
Christian 1990, it was 1451 or so in Saudi Arabia I
forgot what happened 500 years after J H Christ
to make the few desert nomads w ho could read
and write over there start their calendar on that
date. Robert Sang, a Chinese, tells me the most ac­
cepted version of their calendar says it is 4836 this
year, but some say it is later than 5000. A couple of
months ago orthodox Jewry entered the year 5753
Why should the business world run on a Chris­
tian calendar? Because it is simply convenient I
think we should be fair, and take time away from
the Christians, and let them be equal to the other
religions in having their own calendar
When I first thought of this, I knew that the new
starting date would have to be July 20, 1969 at
4:17.bip bip bip Fastem US. Standard Time, when
• e Neil Armstrong left Apollo 11 and set foot upon
the moon. Why didn t Neil's parents name him
Jack? But I figured the Russians would bitch about
that, and the argument would not be over in time
to avoid the Year 2000. Well, hey! We won the cold
war. Things changed Times changed, why not the
calendar?
Who will argue against a demonstrably historic
FACT, concurred upon by scientists from around
the globe? Ion Mabon Who else?
We can argue whether we are in the Space Age
or the Peace Age or the Low-Fat Age, but I'd like
us to agree that when we wake up after New
Year's Eve 1999, it will be morning of Star Date
30 164 bip bip bip
There would be an economic bonus to that: it
would be less than 69.5 years to the next century
celebration! I think people who live spiritually by
non-Christian calendars would appreciate this
change. So would computer freaks, for the hell of
it; and accountants, who always appreciate a
chance to start over Besides, my dad messed
around with the calendar until he died at age 86.
I le said only kings and popes got to mess with the
calendar So I want to provoke this for dear old
crazy Dad
I thought of this shortly after Dad died in 1988
Christian. I figured I'd get some sort of Institute
going behind it, and get people to send me money
I needed a cause Damned if a cause didn't surface
out of the gumbo of my mind I no longer care
whether I get money out of it, but that cause is the
basis of my next suggestion
Second and most im portant change: school cur­
ricula. Hoo, boy! We know how difficult it is for
actual teachers to go through all the course outline
paperwork required by the beaurocrats who take
up a third of education's payroll and never talk to
an enquiring kid.
So we make it simple; right, Ross? In grades K-
10, the first few hours of each day are spent study­
ing the celebrations going on around the planet err
that Jay We use all those other calendars, because
we are now living on a new one
Today in Timbuktu the Hindus are celebrating an
event which occurred three thousand years ago
Timbuktu is over here It rams 47 days a year
there, so they dress like this They make clothes
from sheep's wool shed or shorn, and from local
bernes they make dyes like this and wear these
colors They do this dance Can we do this dance7
Let's try it!
Easy lesson planning, no? Ion Mabon will carp
about studying certain heathen observances, but
that will involve more parents in the lesson plans,
just like he got lots more folks involved in the elec­
tion, so that's okay
It will bring an explosion of opportunity for
writers, illustrators, filmmakers, video talents and
researchers, in bringing to light all the celebrations
to study And as a result of this study, kids will be­
come more interested in this or that So after stud­
ying the parties, students will spend the rest of the
day in further pursuit of knowledge of something
which has tweaked their interest
If you really look for it, there is always an easy
answer.
Rifford Ratchley once told me that the greatest
resistance to a new idea comes from the people
who are making money the old way. Also that it is
easier to own a politician than to be one Also that
you don't have to throw the bums out if you can
change their minds I ley, PAC-wooed, why not
surprise everybody and get behind change?
Third and most difficult change: finance. This
proposal is not mine People thought of it before I
did President Nixon actually proposed it to a
Democrat Congress, but because Democrats had
thought of it first, they nixed it because they didn't
want to give Nixon credit for it I le called it by
some other name, but it was first called a Guaran­
teed Annual Wage. I like that name, GAW, and
you'll see why.
GAW would give every citizen a certain number
of credits for each annum. It would amount to
enough for health, food, housing, clothes, (all of
which goes right back into the local economy,) and
a little bit of walking-around money We could let
ourselves eam as much again as the amount of
GAW before taxation sets in, as more walking-
around money. The Capitalists would have to deal
with less crime, sickness and dissention, and could
complete with each other for our walking-around
money, which, as I pxiinted out earlier, is what
they live for
Face it. They won We should treat them like
landlords: "Okay, you own it all now; you fix it." I
think Clinton understands that.
And it would be cheap Very conservative Re­
publicans know this, like Bill Buckley. They say it
is right, but our people resist change. Now's the
time We just voted for change, and not spare
change We voted in some women Think they
won’t change a few things?
Right now we have lb (wild guess) government
tax-supported agencies getting into the act to
help a citizen who runs out of luck for some rea­
son or other, and most of the time the citizen has
to lie to someone to get help We can reduce all
those agencies to one Guaranteed Annual Wage
Department.
I low can we pay for that? I lere is a way to start
thinking about it: tell everybody in those other 15
agencies Thank you very much for getting us to
where we are now Go home You will recieve
GAW. Anything you report extra higher than the
amount of GAW will be taxed like hell"
It we chose, we could pay those people full bore
until they reach retirement age, to stay home
1 hat's because* when they go to work, they spend
more of our money! We could send them home
and save two-thirds of what they are costing us
now. We could let the homeless live in the offices.
It you just wanted to study philosophy or play
Pitch, you could live on GAW Any other work
you did would be because you want to do it More
smiley faces at work, because they like it
Citizens would have time to study celebrations
around the planet, and sell their results to the
school system, or lx* there to teach kids about
things which have tickled their curiosity.
Citizens could conceive, craft and sell doo-dads.
Ami if my doo-dad business tails flat on Star Date
3b bip bip bip, I won t worry, because GAWD
would take care of me
In GAWD 1 trust
Save Quit Shut down You may now safely
switch oft your brain
Bill Wickland.
t he writer is a Psychixlclic Ranger w ho has spent 45 of his
54 years trying to figure out stuff like this I le is currently
w ashing dishes and i leaning toilets on a N avy contracted
m erchant ship for less than
an hour, and thinking about
this stuff in his sjxire tim e We ll forw ard his mail
Uriah's St. Diablo Jellies
Die g r e a t e s t d i s c o v e r y o f my
g e n e r a t i o n i s t h a t human b e i n g s
c a n . l i t e r t h e i r l i v e s t»y a l t e r ­
in g t h e i r a t t i t u d e s .
- W i 11 iiira Ja m es
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Counseling Psyi hotherrspy
Individuals. Couples & Families
436 9225
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