Ask Uncle Mike
D ear S i r :
M iddv W a r m C o ffi • C o.
U n c le M ik e, my l e f t f o o t . Wtxst g i v e s
you t h e r i g h t t o p a s s o u t a d v i c e ? A re
you a n a c c r e d i t e d c o u n s e l o r ?
I g iv e b e t
t e r a d v i c e tlia n you d o a n d nobrxfy p a y s
me f o r i t .
Why d o n ’ t you f i n d a r e a l
jo b ?
’ WM InJ S t.r e t
V u .tr |
Id U m o o l ( b e g ttn V7141
■01 • M l l « V
VM k t » D A V I I )
E a r l i n A lb a n y
Committee u ¿ro u p ol the unfit, a p p o in te d by the
unwilling, to d o the uaneceaaary. A. Ilurrol
D ear E a r l,
T h a n k s f o r t a k i n g t h e tim e t o s c r a w l .
N ot t o w o rry .
Tfx» w o r ld h a s n o t d e
t e r i o r a t e d t o t h e p o i n t t h a t som eone l i k e
U n c le M ike w o u ld b e g i v e n t h e r i g h t t o
d is p e n s e a d v ic e .
U n c le M ike g o t t h e g i g
b e c a u s e Fie know s R e v e re n d B i l l y , t h e put>-
lis h e r.
And, m ore i n s e r t a n t l y , b e c a u s e
iJ h c le M ike h a s p h o to g r a p h s o f a l i t t l e
week»«nd i n D r a in t h a t R e v e re n d B i l l y w o u ld
lik e to f o r g e t.
Of c o u r s e U n c le M ike i s n o t a n a c c r e d i
te d c o u n s e lo r.
Be s e r i o u s .
U n c le M ike
d o e s n 't e v e n h a v e a d r i v e r ' s l i c e n s e .
He i s a h o m a g a i n h e r m it w hose o n l y q u a l -
i f i c a t i o n t o d i s p e n s e a d v ic e i s a n u n
b r i d l e d am azem ent a t p e o p l e 's c a j a c i t y t o
t a k e t h e m s e lv e s s e r i o u s l y .
U n c le M ike i s n o t t h e l e a s t b i t s u r
p r i s e d t h a t you g i v e b e t t e r a d v ic e tlia n
h e , a n d i s s a d d e n e d t h a t ytxi a r e n o t p a i l .
Not s a d e n o u g h t o g i v e you t h e g i g , b u t
sad n o n e th e le s s .
As t o why U n c le M ike d o e s n 't Fiave a
r e a l jo b , h e r e g a r d s t h e te r m a s a n h y s
t e r i c a l o x y m o ro n .
D e a r U n c le M ike,
W here d o y o u s t a n d on ET? I s t h e r e
i n t e l l i g e n t l i f e in t tie u n i v e r s e ? A re
t h e y f r i e n d l y ? Do t h e y wont t o r a v i s h
o u r women «and e a t u s ?
B ill
Café Espresso
Mil Hr.Autis.n •? (akwvg Riversale»
Seaside. t kegpn
718-fri 6«
i n L i n c o ln C i t y
[«ear B i l l ,
I f , by ET, you mean s m o o th - s k in n e d ,
l i p l e s s , k i n d - e y e d , s a la m a n d e r t n m n o i d s
fro m B e t e l g e u s e , U n c le M ike w o u ld h a v e t o
:av tie*
n ev er seen one.
But t h e n . U n c le
M ike ha- n e v e r < e n a T a is m n ia n e i t h e r .
He ■aw som eone fro m L os A n g e le s o n c e , b u t
w a s n 't i m p r e s s e d .
A re - p a c e a l i e n ; f r i e n d l y ? U h c le M ike
im a g in e s th i* * 1 w>*i]d d e p e n d .
t-V eryone h a s
o f f day* a n d t h e r e a r e bad a p p l e s in every
bunch.
I t u»»ild b e a l i e n i s t t o g e n e r a l i z e ,
b i t U n c le M ike h a s a h u n c h t h e i r f e e l i n g s
f o r u s w o u ld b e a b o u t l i k e t h e o n e s we
have fo r g e r h i l s .
W ould ttie y r a v i s h o u r w om enfolk a n d
e a t u s ? b a d o n l y k n o w s. T h e re a r e , a f t e r
a l l , p»>- p i e in New ark wtx; w u l d .
U n c le
M ike t h i n k ; i t ' s f a r m ore l i k e l y t t i e y 'd
th r o w s t i c k , t e a c h u s t o f e t c h , a n d a s k
.1 l o t
f ni<- t i »n itfiu t Kush L im b au g h .
As f o r t h e r e b e i n g i n t e l l i g e n t l i f e i n
t h e u n i v e r s e , U hcle M ike b e l i e v e s t h e u n i -
D e a r U n c le M ike,
[ w e n t t o my 10th r e u n i o n t h i s sim m er
a n d wns s h o c k e d t o s e e s e v e r a l o f mv m a le
c l a s s m a t e s w i t h wrmen mv d a u g h t e r 's a g e .
A s id e from t h e o b v i o u s -----b o y s w i l l b e
b o y s a n d mrn w i l l h e m id d le - a g e d g o a t s -----
w tiat c a n th e y p o s s i b l y s e e i n t h e s e c h i l
d r e n ? D o n 't t h e s e g i r l s h a v e f a t h e r s ?
c o u r s e , s t u j id r e a c t i o n s t o
■ • '
D i s g u s t e d in P o r t l a n d
i
•
*«d L»»f>«< Cr.A**tai
Committee u ¿ro u p ol men »ho individually cun
d o nothing but u* u ¿ ro u p d e c id e thut nothing enn
lx* d o n e
Fred Allen
(503) 436 2832
239 N H( MLOCk • P O BOX 905
CANNON BEACH. OR 97110
S J a s tlr
i t — a phenom -
• r imsti I.i*itn : :• .
S la rp c t
D ear D is g u s te d ,
¿ le a n in g
My, w e 'r e i n a s n i t , a r e n ' t w e?
U n c le M ike, m id d le - a g e d g o a t t h a t lie
i s , b e l i e v e s d e v o u t l y th a t, l o v e , l i k e b i t -
•
wtvi<* y o u f i n d I t «
He a l s o b e l i e v e s i t ' s iia r d e n o u g h t h e s e
d a y s , when m a t i n g 's becom e a heme v i d e o
o f G e n e r a l H o s p i t a l M e e ts L e t 's M ike A
D e a l, t o f i n d a f r i e n d a n d l o v e r w i t h o u t
o u t l a w i n g c e r t a i n c o m b i n a ti o n s .
U n c le M ike t h i n k s t h i s m ig h t b e f a s c i s t .
What c a n t h e s e men s e e i n y o u n g e r women?
Maytie som eone who l o v e s them ? Who ( d o n 't
l a u g h ) t h i n k s t h e y 'r e t h e g r e a t e s t t h i n g
s i n c e s l i c e d b r e a d ? Som eone who h a s n 't
Ije e n b u r n e d s o b a d ly by s o many men t h a t
s h e l o o k s a t him t h r o u g h 30 y e a r s o f s c a r
tis s u e ?
M sybe s<xnF*one who r e m in d s them o f
th e pow er o f h o p es and d ream s.
U n c le M ike h a d t o c h u c k le a h i t a t y o u r
r e f e r r i n g t o women in t h e i r m i d - t w e n t i e s
an c h ild r e n .
He a l s o w eeps f o r y o u r
d a u g h te r.
Ilin v in s, l i k e c a r s , a r e b e s t
ju d g e d n o t by y e a r s b u t t v m i l e a g e .
As f o r w tiat y o u r d a u g h t e r m ig h t s e e i n
a n o l d e r m an. U n c le M ike w x ild h u rib ly
g u ess q u ite a b i t .
Som eone w i t h m a n n e rs , p e r h a p s ? Som eone
who krxwvn I xtw t o o r d e r d i n n e r ? Scm eone
a b l e t o c a r r y o n a c o n v e r s a t i o n ? W h o 's
s e e n e n o u g h o f l i f e t o v a l u e c a r i n g , com
p a s s i o n , ind f r i e n d s h i p ? Som eone w l x r 'l l
l i s t e n t o t h e i r d re a m s a n d f e a r s w i t h o u t
s a y i n g , " S u r e , b a b e ? " Som eone n o t s t a r t l e d
b y IMS?
DONALD THOM
P O BOX 773
CANNON BEACH OR 97110
& I SPRJ SSO
CUT ME OUT '
I
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... is
anything you want it to be.
1 D ial the n u m b e r to h ear interesting
O p e n in g M essages.
2 D u rin g the O p e n in g M essage, dial 537,
w ait a sec. then I and y o u can listen to the
m essa g e s of others
I
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3 6 8 -7 4 5 0
r o . BOX S9H !
M ANZAM TA OK w71X<)j
SOD I A M DA AVE
Muti'« ctipn« ity for juatice tnukc« d c o o c n ic j
poM ible. but niun'« inclination to injustice muLei
detiKviu. v n c cc ^ u ry . PicnhokJ Ncbuhr
7 3 8 -7 S 8 3
«•»i Q A O 7 i 3 a
Commandment Number O n c o l uny truly civilized
«ocicty i« thi«. Let (seople b e dillcrent.
David G rayson
SINCE
______
1872
I rn d ilio n a l H an d -fo rg ed Iro n W ork
Gates 4 Railings
Hinges 4 Latches
Fireplace Tools
Screens 4 Andirons
Horsedrawn Vehicles
Built to Order
Tool Dressing
4 Tempering
Horseshoeing &
Hoot Trimming
M ichael V orce T h o m se n
503 325 3341 • f AX 503 325 3476
HOME 325 1070
750 ASTOR STRE f T - ASTOR'A OREGON »7103
M3 15 I a k ilm a Bund
< .tv. Jun. n o n . < >H 9 7 5 2 3
\ ---------------------------------------- s
There cun lx? no daily dem ocracy without daily
citizenship
Palph Nader
Sea Garlic
and other organic vegetables •
'* -x
lbs id Sirerl
First they came for the Jews, and I did not speak,
out - because I was not a Jew Then they came
for the communists and I did not speak out
by Oregon Tilth
because I was not a communist. Then
they came for the trade unionists and
I did not speak out - because I
was not a trade unionist Then
they came for me - and
Remodel • New C onstruction • Service Calls
there was no one left to
Electrical A G eneral Contrae una
speak out for me.”
Srjthk^bnir I »1< -g n
503 3rat kZfO
a ppen try
IX
k
I
BBW76569
a n d » a u g h t e r E le ctric
Box 995 - Cannon Beach. OR 97110
4 3 6 .1 8 8 5
DC IN « ( O NO«KWr>
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For All
Vour
Nem>»
B AM A B8H EH
P Q »<>« O S 7 7
T a k ilm a I o r g e A Wagon M urks
4 P lease leave m essa g e s of interest to
10
• LEVELING
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To«uy » hut you think »ill ccituinly duniu¿eyou in
«ocicty. but u free ton¿ue ta worth more thun u
thousand invitation«. L P Amith
• REMOOEL
•
C o n Ä n jcO o n
$
o th ers Such as ..O b sc e n ities,D ru g d eals.
How to build a pipe bom b, w hat the Police
d id to you T H IS w eek. Etc. W e will
c h a n g e m essa g e s on M O N D A Y S .
J
•
L« »■'.»« • ?5352
n
5
3 W hile I istening to o ther peo p le's m es
sag es, you m ay hit 7 to last fo rw ard to the
next m essage.
PUO ATM C O A S T
C O N S T R U C T IO N
• H E A L T H F U L SNACKS
• TOPO
t IW 3 CALENDARS
HOURS
EV ERY D A Y 8:00-4:00
( 5 0 3 1 5512 2681
436-BOMB !!
_______________________
• h a h RING a a n h £ £ § COFI EE
• WID! SI LECTION (>1 MACAZINIS
Jim It irh
I
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1 - BOO* 3 0 0 - 3 S 6 S
WALT LIVELY
Lti rnsed itnJ R, tnded
436-1484
— Putor
Marlin
Niemoeller