D ear U n c le M ik e,
My g i r l f r i e n d
in
to g e th e r
and
and w ant
C a ts and dogs a re
a n d w e 'r e
it
MEANWHILE.
IN NEWPORT
ous,
w o rld .
c o u ld
of
I t 'd
be d i f f e r e n t
a ffo rd
ra c is m
th e
I fee l
v ic e ,
s illv
but
I 'm
to
tw is te d
if
we h a d
be c a s u a l t i e s
W e 'v e h a d a g o o d
u n til
now b u t ,
tu rn e d
fiv e ,
h e ll.
For h is
a k id d ie
in
it.
lo v e .
t h e r e 's
G o ld e n R u l e .
i t ’s a g rea t
in
b u t s to p p e d
has a l l
I sav
fe s s io n a l
fiv e ,
If
g ry ,
you s e e
th e
th e r
h e lp .
s e e som eo n e c r y i n g ,
hug.
If
be
th a t
h is
it
a p p re n tic e
in v o lv e
b e in g
by t h e
If
m a n 's
Or te a c h
s tra n g e rs ,
p e c ia lly
if
s k in
th e ir
lo v e r.
A nd,
you
i t 's
n ic e
get
Be <3 f r i e n d
Re a n a d u l t
next
g uys n o t o n ly
not
lic k
th e ir
you h o ld
is
to
a r e n 't
th e
tric k
re le n tle s s ly
th em a n d n e v e r p u t dow n
lu ll
you
in to
in te rs p e c ie s
d o n 't
le t
a fa ls e
b o n d in g .
ftow f r i e n d l y
(an d
it
w ill),
v e ry
f a s t..
sen se
your p u ff
tilin g s
your
R e g a rd ­
w hen p u s h com e» t o
adder
sh o v e
tu rn
u g ly
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m o n t h 's U p p e r L e f t ,
about
W hat d o e s
222-9ÖB5
you
n o t o w n in g
th ia
m ake y o u ,
FANATICISM CONSISTS OF
REDOUBLING YOUR EFFORT W H EN
YOU WAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR AIM
SANTAYANA
You e c o c r e e p s m ake me p u k e .
y o u 'r e
not
to
fe e lin g
hun­
you
to ilin g
in
W e rn e r H e i s e n b e r g ,
h is
to u ris t
heh,
h e 's
"I
to u rin g
es­
th e o ld
B u d d h is t p e a s a n t
fie ld s .
asks
th e
A m used,
ru b e
man a n s w e r e d ,
a m a c h in e .
w o rk
lik e
lik e
a m a c h in e ,
a h e a rt
" th a t w hoever
th e
s triv in g s
in
w ork
a n d h e who c a r r i e s
in
th e
h is b re a s t
o f h is
s o u l.
s triv in g s
of
in
U n cer­
th e
It
am a s h a m e d t o
use
h o llo w n e s s .
lo v e
to
w a lk .
not
th in g s ;
•
4 4 0 tona of radioactiva waata on fba banka of tha
Colombia Rrvarl
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Sobjact to aarthquekaa I, can’» wrthatandl
th a t
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I
.
Recipient of mdRona of rexx ta» dotara In aubaxbaat
t h e m ."
As f o r h o l i n e s s .
fers
is
ft’a trma we cloaa tha dangaroua Trojan Nuclaar Rowar Rant.
soul
s o m e t h i n g w h ic h d o e s n o t a g r e e
honest se n se .
HELP CLOSE TROJANI
He who l o s e s
becom es u n s u re
I d o n o t know o f s u c h
u n til
h is
s im p lic ity .
s im p lic ity
ta in ty
s a y ,"
He who d o e s h i s
o f a m a c h in e
h is
heh
a m a c h in e g r o w s a h e a r t
h is
w ith
but
if,
n e v e r h e a rd o f m a c h in e s .
lik e
is
th e O r ie n t,
h a v e h e a r d my t e a c h e r
lo s e s
th e m
w e ll,
you a s to r y
u s e s m a c h in e s d o e s a l l
te lls
tim e .
le a s h
T w it,
A w e s te rn e r,
th e
a d iffe r­
g ig g le .
t r that, w e 'v e g o t
I
fa c e
th e re
p h y s ic is t.
th e
la s t
and
s e rp e n ts
tru s ts .
U n c le M ike t e l l
th e
to a k id .
fin is h
v ip e r
s le e p .
w ith
JOCA
S o rry
to yo u r
tim e a n y b o d y
sn ak e h a n d s,
a
D e a r M a rv ,
a d o g e a t dog w o rld w h e re
e a te n ,
th e y
is
a p it
is
m e m o r ie s
M arv i n T a f t
L et
g iv e
th e s e
your
w h is tle .
h o ly ?
to
h im t o com e w hen y o u
la s t
sm a rt
j la n on e n t e r ­
or
O ld
w o rrie d a b o u t y o u r
M ike s u g g e s t s
n ig h t-
a fa u lt.
your snake
s iz e ,
seem s,
child straying at the mall. Uncle
th e m a
S m il e a t
en t c o lo r.
firs t
if
if
any
le s s
fig u r e
see
w ith
to go th r o u g h w ith
c o n s tric to r
sn ak e
e i­
o ld
le d a ro u n d on a
woman h e
y o u 'r e
to
to
n o rm a l,
d o n 't
O r,
liv e
k in g d o m a r e
W h a te v e r y o u d o ,
So y o u a n d A l i c e
out
m adness,
te rm
y o u r m a c h e te .
c h illin g ly
d o e s n 't
m is ta k e
you th e s e
m an y , a g r e e on t h i s :
of
your husband,
d e b a te .
d u k in g
it
c a re ­
p o in ts .
you d e c id e
o v e rfe e d
s le e p .
fin d s
s e llin g
to
th a t
le a s h e d ,
about p u ttin q
nam e,
not
ta in in g .
you n eed p r o ­
to
te ll
even n e a rly
If
to u c h .
y o u r son n e e d s
th e
a re
If
a buck.
th e w ild
la rg e
h im o r y o u t o
in to
w o rld ?
s o m e o n e 's b r o k e ,
out of
th e age o f
w h a t 's
m a g ic o r
g iv e
m a te s o f
th is
at
c u rio u s
u n iv e rs e ,
m ake th e m a s a n d w i c h .
b ite ?
m ake t h e
la s t,
enough
w ill
speak­
If,
U n c le M ike
ne­
s o m e b o d y w h o 's
to
(a d i a g n o s t i c
anyone s ic k
a re
my m o t h e r -
s h e 's
you m ig h t t h i n k
of
about
if
life .
To t h e
w hen
She s a y s o n ly d o g s h av e
U n c le M ike t h i n k s
not.
change
h e lp
to
a s w h ip s a n d f r i e n d l y
a s a bug
D ear T in a ,
We g e t w h a t we g i v e
w h e t h e r we b e l i e v e
W ant t o
fro m a g i r l f i e n d
com es upon an o ld
tric k y
on
th is :
not
about
a snake)
Tina in Newport
In te rd e p e n d e n ts
n o th in g
D y la n g o t
of
We p r o b a b l y
In a r e l a t i v i s t i c
it
and p e rh a p s
your
to »
W hat d o y o u t h i n k ?
a g a in .
lo v e d .
b irth d a y ,
in -la w ,
le a s h e s .
fo r
about
is
t o U n c le M ike v e r y
H e rp o p h lle a
have gone to
A lic e ,
once to ld
b e in g
th in g s
I go s h o p p in g .
w h i l e men
C o d e p e n d e n ts s n i v e l
of
we
n e v e r d id hav e and c e r t a i n l y
so m e­
W e 'v e d e c i d e d
You a r e
b ig g e s t,
s i n c e my s o n D y la n
He l o o k s c u t e
and
in g .
lo v e .
R ut we d o n ' t .
get
Id io ts ,
fu lly .
p ro b ­
re la tio n s h ip
h a rn e ss
o f m in e .
I t 'd
tim e
common
We t h i n k
to
My q u e s t i o n
lis te n
fo r ad ­
h a v in g a r e a l
lu x u ry
a n d women m ake w a r i n s t e a d
ver w ill
a s k in g
lem w i t h my h u s b a n d 's m o t h e r .
th e
if
a n d h o m o p h o b ia .
be d i f f e r e n t
k id s
fear
a p e t.
b u t.
c o u l d we t r a i n
D ear
P e a r U n c le M ik e ,
a c a r.
and
get
B e a v e rto n
m ade a b i g d e a l
each o th e r
to
K y le a n d C h r i s s y
c<xKf
h a te
m oved
we got something exotic a n d p o i s o n ­
In
to
d iffe re n t.
a snake.
D e a r U n c le
... Cort*,r\w<cA
a n y th in g
ju st
little
w o u ld b e way c o o l
th in g
Seven
t h i r t y on
a b r ig h t
m o r n in g
s ta n d in g
among
th e
s o u l - s i c k lin e u p a t th e b ar.
“I
know w h at
I
a m ." s h e
says.
I'm
a drunk.
I ’ m an
a lc h o lic
S o w h a t?
T h en ,
as
c a s u a lly as i f
s p e a k in g o f
a
c a t t h a t d i d n ’ t com e hom e l a s t
n ig h t
I m is s e d
my l a s t
tw o
p e r io d s .
H ave y o u b e e n t o a d o c t o r ? "
I t ’ s c o o l enough t h i s
m o r n in g
f o r t h e warm th from t h e c o f f e e
c u p t o f e e l g o o d on my h a n d s .
N o,
w hat fo r ?
H e 'd
ju st
t e l l me t o q u i t d r i n k i n g .
What w o u ld y o u
do w ith
a
baby?
S h e l i v e s by c a d g i n g
a
few d o l l a r s a d a y from t h e men
s h e g o e s t o bed w i t h , n o t e v e n
c o n f i d e n t e n o u g h t o dem and t h e
m oney up f r o n t and r i s e t o t h e
le v e l o f hooker
"I w o u ld n ’ t d o a n y t h i n g w it h
a b a b y . N o t h in g
I ’d g iv e
it
t o h er daddy
to r a is e lik e
I
had t o r a i s e C h r i s t i . "
C h r i s t i i s h e r d a u g h t e r . Sh e
w ent
to
her
h ig h
sch o o l
g r a d u a t i o n a w eek o r s o
ago,
o r s a y s s h e d i d . I im a g in e h e r
s ta n d in g a t
t h e b a ck
of
th e
h a ll
d u r in g
th e
cerem on y,
d r e sse d as
sh e
now
is .
to o
ash am ed t o
a c k n o w le d g e o r
be
a c k n o w le d g e d
'W h a t's
sh e
g o in g t o
do now ?’
I w ant
to
ask ,
m aybe
to
v a lid a te
my
im age
I d o n ' t a sk
A man w a lk s in and h e r
eyes
l i g h t up t h e n
go dead a s
sh e
s e e s t h e woman f o l l o w i n g
"That
s n n o f a b i t c h ."
She
d o e s n ’ t so u n d a n g r y , n o t
even
h u r t.
The
w ord
is
a
c o n fir m a tio n , th e
p e n e tr a tio n
o f a m a sq u e r a d e r a t h e r t h a n
a_
c u r s e . Then t h e h u r t c o m e s
"He knew I ’d b e i n h e r e . Why
d id he h a v e t o b r in g her?"
The man b u y s
a p itc h e r
of
b e e r . He and t h e woman m ove t o
a ta b le .
"I b e e n w it h him m ore th a n a
w e e k . Why w o u ld h e d o t h a t
to
me? I ’ m n o t
a bad p e r s o n ,
am
I? You d o n ’ t
t h i n k I ’ m a bad
p e r s o n , d o you ?"
"Of c o u r s e n o t . “
T h en ,
d e p e r s o n a liz in g ,
m o v in g
from
in tim a te
to
a b stra c t
Why d o p e o p l e
act
lik e th a t?
Oh w e l l , I g u e s s
I ' l l n e v e r u n d er sta n d .
"You g o i n g ? H ey. c a n y o u l e t
me h a v e
a c o u p le
b u ck s?
I
g o t t a h a v e som e m ore b e e r t h i s
m o r n in g . ’’
"Sure. ”
a
I
U n c le M ike p r e ­
He d o e s ,
h o w ev er,
l e f t cloaa thia menace
Raaaa argn tha Do-lf Y o u aell
Commrttaa'a ‘ Cloaa Troten’ patttxxi and ca« toR free 1-B00 7B2-
2 2 3 1 to volunteer ladRi A aala.
• " • ’ BY efficient futixa
dapands on rout