THE TORCH OF REASON, SILVERTON, OREGON, THURSDAY, MARCH 10, 1898. 3 he good deacon Balldick touched a terians who shake their fists in the T ? ' D T P ' E V T T T T 'T T /'N A T T fn T v n t -empathetic chord and made a face of the god of the Jews, who ■ tv .E j.E j. 1 U l i 1 L D N --------T D E E . point she would cry aloud and says: “Go thy way, eat thy bread IN THE swing her black-bordered handker- with joy, ahd drink thy wine with chief for all it was worth. a merry heart; for God now accept- Roxey promised to have my sud- eth thy works.” (Eccles, ix. 7.) K » ■ ded death liberally advertised in all Thus commands the god of the the county papers. Besides this, Jews. she promised to get out a thousanu faithfulness to temperance prin- “posters’ and twice as many ciples is quite a new excuse for ex- “dodgers”. These she would post communication. But the synod of T his is a R em arkable Offer! and distribute where they would do the Dutch reformed church in Some One is G oing to be Benefitted! the most good. South Africa has passed the follow- Little pets, I do need a few hun- ¡ng resoltion: died dollars, but I will not venture I his synod declares that mem- into a coffin as long as I live. Oth­ bers who unite themselves with tee­ From February 1 to A ug u st 15, 1898, we have decided to er men not so liberally endowed total societies become unfaithful in . . ,. . , m ake th is R e m a r k a b le O ffe r . THo p a rty se n d in g with horse sense may play dead their membership in the Gereform- us the largest n u m b er of Yearly Subscribers to th e T orch man, but as long as I can make a eerde kerk, - and must be repeatedly g- — — - — — — - of R eason , at the reg u lar subscription rate of One D ollar a dollar by telling your parents that | and earnestly warned, and if they i r.eeei'.’H Free T u itio n and B oard at 9ie two she bears ate forty-two chil­ will not give heed after many warn Liberal l Diversity, at Silverton, Oregon, for One School dren for supper and the whale ate ings they must be treated in ac­ i oai. I lie person sending the Second Largest n u m b er of a whole Jew for its breakfast, and cordance with article 21 of our syn- subscribers at one d o llar a year, will receive F re e many other stories just as wonder­ od rules, that is, cut off from mem- U i H O d one year. 1 be w inners of these prizes m ay ful, and just as untruthful, I will Iwrsl.ip in the church.” choose an y course of study given in the U niversity let well enough alone. So, there­ My pets, I do not feel willing to. R em em ber the L iberal U niversity is th e O nly School of fore, I positively refused to play the take sides on this vital question. I the kind, and an offer like th is is Indeed R em arkable, role of dead man to Roxey Jane’s am located in this pulpit solely for cut and dried funeral sermon, So the cash there is in the job. I do she and I are now at outs. not drink liquor, nor will I offer it will ie c e i\e tree tu itio n for a year anil free board besides. to others, notwithstanding the god A FALSE REPORT. A few’ days ago an Oregon paper of the Jews recommends its use in published a sensational account of very strong language. Rum and will receive free tu itio n for a year. the sudden death of the devil. I religion go hand in glove, and I i f > o u d o n o t s u c c e e d j n w inning eith er prize, we will allow read this libelous article with great will not deign to. separate these you tw enty-five cents for every subscriber sent us, provided sorrow, for well I know that if the twin evils. I notice that since Roxey Jane you send five or over. R em it us t h e full am o u n t w ith each devil were dead my occupation would be ruined and I would be­ has introduced individual chalice order, and we will retu rn the am o u n t due you at the end come a charge on the county. For cups that hold a pint of wine the of the contest if you fail to win a prize. nearly two thousand years we so- membership of this tabernacle has called servants of the “meek and about trebled. So I guess I had bet­ * R U L E S OF T H E C O N T E S T * lowly one” have “worked” the ig­ ter keep a silent jaw on this tem­ All subscriptions m u st be paid in advance. norant and thoughtless with this perance question, and I will con­ tinue to hoodoo your simple-mind­ Money m u st be forw arded w ith th e ord er. sulphurous fiend. All orders must /><• m ailed to uh and bear the p ostm ark at th e office of m ailing Did I say fiend? No, no, I will ed parents with snake, fish, bear not call his royal nibs by so cruel ghost, dream, spirit and other in- ,1" t lai.-r th an Monday. August 16, 1808. 1 a .,» • .. , and unjust an epithet. I will say, ieresting bible stories. u been p h o n s m ay be se n t in a t any tim e p rio r to M onday, A ugust 15, 1898, and Amen. we will keep a record ot th e n u m b er sen t in by each c o n te stan t. the pulpiteer’s best friend, for such , ».tate in vour letter th a t you wish to e n te r th e c o n te st. he has ever been for the orthodox I Sam ple copies will be sen t for tw o cen ts each. A ustralian N atives A ddress all letters and m ake all o rders payable to religionist. A report from Mintonville, Ky., TO R C H OF R EA SO N , I lie Don. David W . Carnegie silverton OREGON states that the Rev. Gilham, of the who has returned to England a f te r ----- --------------------------------------- Christian church preached a sermon a thirteen months’ journey across q - • 1 rr 1 there in which he affirmed there is , the Great Victoria and Great Sandy a ^ p C C Ic ll o i l l O no devil. T h e c o n g r e g a tio n took ,,(.s(.rls ,)f \y,.st(.r „ Australia, gives oftenseand when the reverend gen- avery „„favorable account ol the Reman undertook to apeak again | naUve8 he met wilh. There are «as ejected from the house and nilt n,,luy of them, and the planet about fired ig u, * 1 .0 . . twenty . J 1 pistol shots were - mew to be congratulated on their nauc- aftcr him. .... . □ , Mr. w 'm r ì n r s ' r n r T n r t t t y t ì s t .. lty. I he people are very dark, Dow Rev. Gilham escaped with Carnegie 8ayH> aild add to tlleir £ ie is hard for me to guess, blackness hy smearing themselves ntiic >, of all places on earth, is with grease and ashes—a fact which - <«t 5 in need of our mutual makes their presence known at a 9 pounds Roast Coffee..........................$1.00 0 an staunch standby. considerable distance. They are Syrup, per b u c k e t......................................05 h , pets, fail not to inform your very ugly — more like monkeys hi parents that the devil is still than anything else, with their fiat 1 lb. plug Q. and Q. chewing tobacco .20 c an doing business at the old foreheads and protruding lips. As a 35 pounds Rolled G a ts ........................ 1.00 Also say unto them that I ruje they are very thin, and of "ili continue to receive their dona- ollJUll * lij women OVIIlVil «• 11V4 small OlOVUlVt stature. i'lv Men, and Apron G in g h am .................. 1.00 ns with my accustomed bland children are all stark naked. They smile . make no houses. They simply scoop g rea t minds d if f e r . out a hole in the sand and squat in 1 l»e Missouri Presbyterian Syn- >t. This is a fresh and striking con- -SUL2.JUULJUUtJLJLSLfi.JUL2.. 0,b in session at S t. Louis, passed a firmation of the Darwinian theory. '"Intion censoring Princeton pro- = T r = ^ S p e c i a l B a rg a in s in S h o e s ! ‘ ""rs for signing a petition for a Life is a short day, hut it is a j ’"n license for the Princeton working day. Activity may lead nn- to evil, hut inactivity cannot be Silverton >0 much for the defiant Presby- , good.—[Hannah More. • Oregon. LIBERAL. UNIVERSITY L IS T E N ! * R E A D !! J ? ?11, Y’ 1-1 SOM EONE ANOTHER 2 W EEKS ONLY 2 ps