THE TORCH O F REASON, SILVERTON, OREGON, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1897. The Licensed Preacher. as ignorant and superstitious as to be weak and tottering. Yes, LITTLE TORCHES. their uncouth leader. Is it not ‘ tottering on its last legs.” The B y W. E JI ihn« >n NSW RELIGION the obnoxious something of a wonder to see a new’ T orch of R eason will yet shed its DEACON EMBARKS FOR THE religious sect spring up and thrive beacon light to all the children of Suffering is loved not for itself CANNIBAL ISLANDS. in this wonderful land of newspa- men, for so it is written upon the hut for what it brings.—[The Unit- pers, magazines, hooks, free schools wall. ed Presbyterian. By Rev. Old Mortality. and our thousands of colleges and Perhaps you Christians do “Jove , , . , the obnoxious deacon . great temples where science, truth suffering”, hut we notice that vou My Dear Little Ones:— I have and Windom are taught at such tri- . My f* ts’ no iloubl you are aware told you much regarding some of fling expense? But perhaps we that our rich brother, Deacon Ball- go howling for the arnica bottle every time you get a pain. the world’s strange religions, and ought not to wonder or he greatly dick, has make himself very obnox now I will tell you something about surprised so long as the American ious to the good looking lady mem ( almly and candidly recount a “splinter” new religious sect people accept the unholy, unchaste bers of this tabernacle, and vou God’s dealings with you.—[United that call themselves ‘‘True Follow Jewish hook of fables as being also know that w’e have longed to Presbyterian. ers”. This late addition to Ameri written by the finger of the vacil get rid of him. We have at las All right; from an orthodox ca’s 144 different styles of religion lating and bloodthirsty monstrosity succeeded in accomplishing this ob standpoint, he first made me and is a product of Missouri. Its ad that figures in this book as its ject. Last Friday night Rev. Mrs. then damned me because an an- vocates believe in the doctrine of hero. Roxey Jane Mortality sent one of tedeluvian savage named Adam ate baptism and of laying on of hands, No, little pets, let us not lose our trusty male servants over to an apple. Then he caused his only and of resurrection of the dead, and sleep in wondering “what fools we his house with instructions to son to he foully murdered because of eternal judgment. mortals he.” You and I know that mount upon the roof and cry he was mad, and he was mad be And this we will do if God per religion has been and is still a aloud in angelic tones these words: cause he himself damned me be mit.—Hebrews, chapter 6, verses 2 curse to all the inhabitants of this “Oh, thou greatly blessed of all cause Adam ate the apple. Then and 3. world. I do not tell you this at a men, arise and set out for the Can '»ecause lie had so constituted me And the prayer of faith shall venture. History proves it far bet nibal isles and preach the good that I could not believe a lot of save the sick.—James, chapter 5, ter than I can. The good, intelli word of salvation to the heathen theological rot, he has damned me verse 15. gent, educated and well-balanced Take no script, silver nor gold in tgain ami has fixed up an eternal And these signs shall follow men and women of America can thy purse, hut make ov»*r all thv hot-bex for my soul. That is the them that believe; in my name they thrive like a green bay horse—yes, wealthy possession to the taberna way my ledger stands so far. shall cast out devils; they shall thrive on horse sense. Horse sense cle of which thou art a pillar and speak with new tongues. Our Heavenly Father often uses coupled with enterprise and honest a bright shining light. Do this in adversity as a purifier. “When They shall take up serpents and “mother wit” is quite sufficient for my name, and great will he thy re le hath tried me I shall come if they drink any deadly thing it all practical purposes—that is, it is ward in the kingdom to come.” brth as gold,” was what Job said shall not hurt them; they shall lay Early on Saturday Roxey went after hi- possessions had been swept enough tor the truly intelligent and hands on the sick and they shall the truly honest. I'he dishonest, over to see our good brother. In a away. This keen wintry weather recover. Mark, chapter 16, verses the illiterate, the stupid, the ignor few minutes after her arrival at Ids will kill off’lots of vermin; so God sends wintry weather sometimes 17 and 18. ant, and the hypocritical knaves house she frightened, ogled and flat- on His own people to kill off cer This is the third time I am com who have an ax nr two to grind ered him into making over all of tain k in d s of besetting sins.—[Rev. ing to you. lis vast possessions to her for the L. L. Cuyler, in the Evangelist. will take to religion as a newly- Greet one another with a holy hatched duck takes to a dirty pond. )enefit of our tabernacle. No soon That is a new idea; God makes kiss.—Corinthians, chapter 13, When we look over the history er had our dear brother Balldkk us suffer so as to get rid of vermin verses 1 and 12. of different nations we learn that taken passage for the Cannibal Is and bed hugs, does he? In other Upon these quotations from the millions of Jives have been sacrific lands than Roxey telegraphed the words, God made us imperfect so Scriptures are founded the church ed and that towns and great cities king and queen of the Isles to that he would ------ — have the fun of and creed of “ 1 he true Followers of have been razed to the earth and sharpen up their butcher knife and making us miserable in getting the Jesus Christ.” This sect numbers rivers of blood have reddened the hinge their appetites, for she had kinks out of us. What a great perhaps 1,000 believers who are seas in supporting some of the vile forwarded them a toothsome holi head your god must have! scattered through southern Kansas, religions that even now throw a day morsel. western Arkansas, northern Texas I bus, my pets, w’e have rid our d here is an old legend of a pall over portions of the earth. traveler who was seeking the true and Oklahoma. A large majority ou may wonder how long these selves of a troublesome brother and answer to the question, “ What is of them, however, are found in lamentable things will continue. I enriched the tabernacle with his heaven?” He met a little child Oklahoma far west of the railroads answer, not long—no, no, not much wealth. Is not Roxey “a blooming and propounded his inquiry, and and in among the sandhills along longer; perhaps fifty years. France daisy”? Her heart is certainly the answer came prompt and clear “Heaven is joy.” P He met an old the Cimarron river. has had her religious wars. Her imbued with her religious duty. While the church as a whol eyes have opened up. Oh, bloody W hile it is true that dear Roxey is man, and his answer was “Rest ” 441 « I * v. iiJdinvij Sold 1 >V the artist The maiden said “Love;” recognizes no ostensible head, the I. T ) . « « « the poet hone of my bone and flesh of my | said, “ Beauty;” and St. Bartholomew’s eve! Germany acknowledged leader of them all is has had her share of trouble. At flesh, I cannot fully endorse the ¡“Glory,” and others gave other Joab Morris. Second only to him one time she sent 30,000 of her way and manner in which she ansWerH-—[ Wesleyan Christian Ad- in the fervor of his religion and children to a religious war. Oh keeps the cylinder of this taberna- vocafce’ the power of his teachings is his Keep right on. The Turk will tomb of Jesus! These innocent lit cle well packed; but still if it were son-in-law Joseph H. Bohall. tle ones never returned to their ig not for her and other good ladies I ^ay that heaven is where there are These two profess to be inspired norant, cruel and superstitious par- would soon be compelled to vacate lots of beautiful women, the Indian and speak only as they are bidden ents. Fifty millions and more lives i this Women are the will say that it is where there is good to speak by Jesus Christ. Another have been sacrificed in trying to strength and bulwark of our relig- hunting and fishing, the Quaker son-in-law, James Clay Darling, will say that it is w’here there are lasten religion upon the inhabit io is bodies. has the gift of “the unknown To conclude, Deacon Balldick is no muskets or notaries public, the ants of Europe and other countries. tongue’’, and through him speaks Little dears, listen hard to what somewhat fat and tender, and no Jew will say that it is where the the Holy Ghost to the brethren. lam now about to say. In this doubt will make a good roast. And streets are paved with gold and These three live, travel and work re- where money draws 20 per cent country we have over two millions Roxey? Well, Roxey - will still ___ together and in reality constitute of educated men and women who r ain “a bIoomin8 daisy” and a per month, the darkey will tell you the fountain head of inspiration for are outspoken skeptics, and tens of terror to nieddlesome deacons, that there is lots of music and the church of the True Followers, a thousands of Freethinkers. In Mee,inK is n°wdismissed. Amen. dancing there, the Baptist will have belief born in superstition and nur Europe there are at this time seven 1 w , 11--- T Y Y----- a flood up there and so on ad infin tured in I he grossest ignorance, and million« of people who have cast ° B< H ° F Reas’ itum. Don t you think that you whose rites suggest the antics of H«i.le the black mantle of religious for 'i’.h '6 new aub8<'rib<‘rfl saints had better hold a convention . , . »^ngious tor •?■>./5, atid the partv cettina on and find out what this “heaveu” is the Indian ghost dance. Joab Morris, the head and tail of ' g " ” SUp*r8ti,i<>n- A"h ail the club will receive fifty visiting that you want us to give up every this new religion is a gross and ia I , «»«»opated brothers and fw his trouble. These cards to in norant man. H e' l.as afoU ’ -* ‘ ' rUth' wherever they.bave «n engraving of thing ° for? We don’t want ’ I in irutn, wnerever there ’ v an „ vest our our aI1 all in a a lottery lottery ticket; we owing are free schools and a free and un- 1 u . 008 VVeU"tein badge beauti- VP8t of over 1000 people who are about trammelled press we find religion Il 7 llth',iirdPhed at th” of want to know what we are to get ng your y e nan'*** j for believing trash. Cl a s i