H IE TORCH OF REASON, SILVERTON, OREGON, THURSDAY, APRIL 15, 1S97 The Licensed Preacher. BY “ OLD MORTALITY.” C ontinued from first page. cash out of your wallet. Then they will he compelled to scrath gravel or starve. Forgive these tears for I cannot help hut weep when I wonder what will the harvest he when we take to the shovel, pick and plow. Even as old and intelligent as many of us are, there are compar­ atively few American divines that know which cow horn to pull when they want a glass of buttermilk. Take us all in all, perhaps there is no set of men under the tin can­ opy of heaven that are so lacking in the wags and ways of this old world. I do not like to tell you this, hut it sometimes takes the cobwebs out of my throat when I merely tell a few facts just for va­ riety—though it is not policy in me to do so. I cannot brag much on some of my brother pulpiteers, who will do and say most anything for the glory of the Lord so long as they get the hind leg of the chicken and a piece of the pie. “Now, therefore, behold the Lord hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all these, the prophets (servants) and the Lord has spoken evil con­ cerning thee.”—I Kings:22-23. But why quote the Bible; one can prove most anything by it. It does not say positively that the moon is made of green cheese, but it was made of nothing, and the Lord appears to have had a large amount of this curious commodity on tap at the time he created this earth. Oh, Moses! what a cock and bull story you told the unsophisticated. But Moses I will not chide your memory for the wonderful things that you are charged with saying, for we sky pilots are still feather­ ing our nests by the fruits of your most' magic pen, and I for one will assist my brother preachers in erecting a monument to thy mem­ ory—notwithstanding I believe you to have been the grandest liar of your day or any other day. My little ones, try to keep all books, magazines and newspapers out of the reach of your parents, for by the ignorance of your par­ ents we thrive, and we do this in spite of Hume, Gibbon, Volney, Voltaire, Paine, Ingersoll and all the other infidel writers who were not wise enough to make a living only by the work of their hands and the sweat of their brow. Yet I am sad; oh, what will the harv­ est be? Amen. U n iv e rsity F und. Previously Acknowledged..............$<’4 6 50 W. N. Jorgensen............................... 1 50 E. R. L aughlin, Caleb, O re ........... 5 00 Dr. B. L. H jerm stad , C in cin n ati. 5 00 T o ta l......................................................$628 00 Christ.” “Ingersoll to the Clergy,” 25 cents. This book comprises a number of questions by ministers Splendid program at our Y. P. S. of various creeds and answers to S. C. last Friday evening. Captain the same by Colonel Ingersoll. Allen is making a hard fight. Now show this paper to a friend It never rains but it pours. and ask him if he will not sub­ Mr. B. A. Leonard presented the scribe and help along our cause school with another good dictionary. and receive each week a copy of a This makes three new dictionaries paper that stands for morality and in one week. SECULAR N E W S against superstition. If each one The student who spends 2 hours The drama “Jane” will be played of our subscribers will get us a each evening in study gains in 3 at Liberal Hall by home talent th»* new subscriber it will just double our subscription. Did you ever months, 120 hours i. e., 20 days or last of May. think of that? just one month. No wonder that It was deemed best at the last those who study evenings and mornings are happy and gav and convention of the Oregon State Sec­ The B oquet. come to the recitation with a cheer­ ular Union to allow the old officers ful smile. We can learn a good to hold over with the exception of Editor Torch of Reason: I received a sample copy of The lesson from this. Life is a school. the secretary, who did not care to Torch of Reason, the other day and when I get home to Liberal Mo. B lan k No. i. o C K X X X X X X X X X X ) o-0<>0<><>00<>0<>-00-C><><>0-0 O O O O O O -Q where I will go in a few’ days I want it. I send you by this mail • • • ^ i b c i f a l y n i 'ü e i t s i t - g F u n d • • • one copy of The Boquet, which I hope you will appreciate. Of the ****** two hundred and ten poems in the ...................................................................................... E . M. 297. book the name of Jesus does not appear and I only found it con­ M r . J ohn I I ickh , T reasu rer F in an ce B uilding C om m ittee, S ilverton, Ore. : venient to point a hit to use the name of God but three times. The S ir—Inclosed please find $ ............................................................................ f°r preachers say no one can write L iberal U niversity F u n d , said fund to be used solely for th e co n stru ctio n , unless he is inspired by either God, m ain ten an ce an d fu rn ish in g of th e Liberal U niversity of S ilverton, Ore. the Holy Ghost or the boy of the cow stable. Yours truly, E. L. S mith , Silverton, R obert S cott , W oodburn, G. H. WALSER. J ohn H ick s , T reasu rer, S ilverton, Liberal Mo. Deeart, Physiology B; Charles Page, English Literature; B. B. Smith, English Literature; Walter Dolan, Fourth R. Elocution; Elma Smith, Fourth* R. Elocution; George Brewer, Fourth R. Elocution; Robert Down, Spelling A; George Riches, Book-keeping and Chemis­ try. UNIVERSITY NOTES. C om m ittee on Finance. 00-00-CKXX><>- < W '> X X H X n X X X K K > O B lank No. 2. O <><>0-0-<><> 00<>00 0 < h X X X X X X X X X > O C < X > 0 < * < > < > O iX X X X X X X X X H X X X X X K X ) Ô A poem from the above mentioned book appears on the first page of this paper. The Boquet is a splendid book and we hope it will meet with large sales. M oney an d Books. Dear Friends: Add the inclosed $3 to your press fund. I mail with this three rolls of reading matter, “Our Animal Friends,” hoping they will interest many in your reading rooms. Wishing you every success, I am yours, J. W. H. New’ York City. T ra c t Society. Editor Torch of Reason: I am highlv in favor of vour tract society plan. Put me down hold office any longer. Mr. E. L. as a member. Wishing you success, Smith, of Silverton, was elected to I remain sincerely yours, that office and will undoubtedly B. L. HJERMSTAD. D.D.S. prove a good man for the place. He still retains the office of P re ss F u n d . treasurer. Previously Acknowledged... ...$ 1 0 5 00 We acknowledge the receipt of J. W. H ., New York C ity .... . . . 3 00 the following books published by the Truthseeker Company of New ’ T o t a l.......................................... $108 00 York: “ Essay on Miracles,” David We give the T orch oe R eason Hume, 10 cents. This is a splen­ did little book, being a chapter and The Freethought Magazine from the philosophical works of the for one year for the small sum of author. “An Open Letter to Jesus $1.50. Now’ is the time to sub­ scribe. Christ,” D. M. Bennett, 10 cents. This is a splendid missionary tract W ho c a n th in k o f som e sim p le containing a number of pertinent th in g to p a te n t? P ro te c t v o u r M en«: th e v m nv b rin g y o n w r a ith . and practical questions directed to W rite JO H N W KDDEKBURN & CO.. P a te n t A ttor- n evs. W a sh in g to n . I). C.. fo r th e ir <1.9110 p riz e offer a n d n e w list o r o n e th o u s a n d In v e n tio n s w a n te d . “ His Excellencv, •* e Immanuel J. Cut th is out or copy it, HU in w ith the am ount you w ish to subscribe, and re tu rn to Jo h n H icks, tre a su re r finance com m ittee, S ilv erto n , O re. We have had sveral additions to our museum this week. “Grand­ ma” Geer donated a very peculiar bird’s nest, and a large petrified shell. Mrs. Mary Starmer gave a jar full of moss that grows in water and is covered with minute shell-fish which arc alive and grow­ ing. Mrs. Starmer also gave us a joint of a whale’s back-bone that was found near the coast. In the late examination the following students stood 100 ptr cent in the branches mentioned: Frank Forward, English Literature; Elvin Ames, Grammar B; Walter Smith. Spelling B; Lora Ames, U. S. History; Leona Allen, U. S. History and Spelling A; Harry Wanied-An Idea