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Have a Plan For D ealing W ith Peer Pressure
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Parents Don’t Have to Be Left In the Dark When Kids Walk Out the Door
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The challenges of adolescence can be harder for par-
"I'm N ot R eady" Indicators
ents to deal w ith than fortheir kids.
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" o h , m o m . Y o u k n o w I d o n 't d o s tu ff lik e th a t.
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I'm a g o o d k id ." Beware! This youngster has not
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developed a plan for handling peer pressure and is
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According to research from the Love and Logic® Insti
tute, 87 percent of Am erican adults believe children
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and teens are influenced as m uch or m ore by their
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peers than a generation ago. H ow can concerned par
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trying to say w hat is expected.
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m e ? " Uh oh! This is probably a m anipulative state
intense pressure they face to participate in unhealthy
m ent designed to put the parent on the defensive.
behavior?
M any kids learn at an early age that defensive par
Parents usually try to talk to their teenager about their
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w orse. Betty's daughter, Rachel, w ants to go to a party.
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" N o ." W atch out! M ost teens and even m any adults
M om isn't sure her daughter is ready to handle the peer
are not com fortable saying "N o" to a good friend.
pressure she is sure to face. Rachel tells Betty she's be
This kid is not ready.
" I'll ju s t te ll th e m d o in g d ru g s is s tu p id ." A teen
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ing overprotective.
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"You're just treating m e like a baby. H ow can I help it
ager probably is not going to say this. It is very rare
if som e kids bring drugs or beer to the party? But you
for a child to risk his or her standing in the peer
don ’t have to w orry about m e. I can handle it. I'm not a
group w ith this kind of statem ent. This statem ent
baby, you know. So w hat if I'm only 14? I'm a very m a
usually is m ade only to im press the parent.
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"I'm R eady" Indicator
A teenager w ho is ready to handle the pressure usually
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baby."
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" O h , m o m . I ju s t d o w h a t y o u to ld m e . I ju s t s a y
ture 14-year-old. You can't keep treating m e like I'm a
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ents are m ore likely to give in.
concerns. But talking m ay only m ake the situation
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" D o n 't y o u tru s t m e ? W h y c a n 't y o u ju s t tru s t
ents know if their children are ready to deal w ith the
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Parents can use a sim ple Love and Logic® technique
indicates a w ell thought out plan. For exam ple:
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"You know, Mom, if a kid wants me to try drugs, I'll tell him
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called "W hat's Your Plan?" to avoid this argum ent and
add to their peace of m ind w hen teenagers claim they
I like him and want to do things with him, but drugs really
are ready to handle peer pressure and m om or dad sim
aren't my thing. And then I'll thank him and suggest some
ply aren't sure.
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thing else we could do.”
Betty should begin by asking her daughter, "W hat's
I m et a teenager w ho told m e he actually looks forw ard
your plan if your friends w ant you to drink or do drugs
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w ith them ? I'll know you're ready to handle these kinds
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of situations once you have a good plan."
to being offered drugs or alcohol. "I've got this great
routine," he laughed. "I tell them I've got a big tim e
problem w ith m y parents. They just aren't very "w ith
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Continued...
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