Page A-8
Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, Ore. Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Winding Trails: by Al Hobart
Thursday, July13, 1967
Illinois Valley News
Bandido
Every evening I have company. Bandido,
the masked bandit, never fails to show up for
the feast he knows will be laid out for him on
the porch just outside the front door.
Bandido, a sleeker, younger replica of
his predecessor, Old Barney, who for some
mysterious reason seems to have permanently
departed the premises, is a raccoon. The name
Bandido is from the Spanish common noun of
the same spelling, which means bandit. The
name, as applied to my semi-domesticated
visitor, is subject to change in case Bandido
should show up some happy day – with a bevy
of wee bandidlings in tow. In that event the
name’s last letter will have to be changed from
o to a, thus transforming the name from the
masculine Bandido to the feminine Bandida.
As a matter of fact, judging from, my
scientific observation through the front
window over a period of some weeks, I
strongly suspect that the name will soon have
to be changed along the lines indicated above.
Basing my suspicions that a not fully matured
coon’s length should increase at approximately
the same rate as its girth, my assumption
seems definitely justified: the little rascal is
ballooning at a rate that simply doesn’t seem
explicable in terms of food consumption alone.
But, regardless of the name’s form and
PATROL
...
Continued from A-7
*Between 9-9:51 a.m.,
loud amped music in the 9300
block of Takilma Road was
causing a nearby resident to
suffer a headache. The noise
complaint was logged as BAR
at 12:30 p.m.
*Citizens in the 9300
block of Takilma Road
apparently believe that
persistence pays. At 12:32
p.m. they reported a neighbor
on Meadows Road who was
banging on his amplified bass
guitar and drumming at odd
hours of the day, and between
10-11 p.m. Again, BAR.
*Ten people were
transporting large amounts
of heavy equipment to
their marijuana garden, and
traveling without permission
through private property in
the 3300 block of Rockydale
Road. The resident conducted
the animal’s strangely developing dimensions,
the pleasure I get from watching Bandido’s late
evening performances overshadows all other
considerations. Sometimes he comes after dark
and I miss the show, but more often he shows
up during- daylight and I watch him through
the window till he cleans up all his food to the
last morsel and retires to his lair till darkness
and time for his night prowling comes.
He seems to relish anything he can get
his teeth into. He gets all the table scraps,
bones, milk or cream gone sour; anything at all
he accepts gratefully. If I don’t have any fish
or meat scraps (his favorite handouts) he’ll put
away potatoes, beans or bread with apparently
equal gusto. I always add some bread smeared
with old apple butter or jam that failed to
thicken. When he eats his way to the bottom of
his little blue pan it’s fun to watch him handle
that runny gook that settled to the bottom.
A coon’s front feet are little black hands,
and he uses them almost the way we use ours,
in spite of the lack of an opposable thumb.
Bandidio doesn’t do much, dish-licking, his
long nose seeming to interfere. So he pats
his hands into the soft sweet muck, then
licks them, first the palm, then the individual
fingers. To corral the last of the goo he runs
one hand around the bottom of the dish,
then scoops up the concentrated dessert and
polishes it off.
In his little white side dish I put a small
handful of wheat and sweeten it up with some
old syrup I intended to throwaway. That he
really goes for. When he cleans up both
a title search, and wants to
negotiate easement rights
with the new land owner. At
2:41 p.m. he was advised that
this was a civil matter, and
provided with an incident
number for future reference.
It was suggested that he lock
his gates.
*A fellow in a gray
Ford pickup truck was pulled
over in the 3100 block of
Rockydale Road at 2:52 p.m.
He had the correct license
plates; he just couldn’t
remove the old plate due to
rusted bolts. A helpful deputy
removed and seized the
invalid plate.
*Law enforcement
investigated the 600 block of
Frederick Court at 3:14 p.m.
*Ryan Paul Jantz, 42,
was detained in Josephine
County Jail after being taken
into custody at 4:23 p.m.
in the 100 block of Warren
Road. Jantz was arrested
on felony warrants from
JCSO, Jackson County
Sheriff’s Office, and Grants
Pass Dept. of Public Safety.
Charges for failure to appear
include felon in possession
of weapon, dangerous
drugs, and possession of
meth. Two firearms without
serial numbers were seized
during a consent search of
his residence. One was a
Remington .22 rifle and the
other was a 1908 rifle.
*At 5:49 p.m. a resident
in the 400 block of Reagor
Lane was worried about fire
safety because his neighbors
were shooting in the heat. He
was informed that it is legal to
shoot in a safe manner in the
county.
Tuesday, July 4
*Three mixed-breed pit
bulls attacked a fellow at 9:05
a.m. when he was closing
a gate in the 28400 block
of Redwood Hwy. He was
transported to Three Rivers
his dishes he leisurely climbs up onto the
porch railing (a 2-by-4, placed flat-wise) and
proceeds to help himself to the bird’s chickfeed
I put there every morning. He doesn’t just walk
along the rail licking up the feed. Nothing so
crude as that. He reaches up ahead, first with
one hand, then the other, and scrapes the fine
grain in neat little piles. A very clever and tidy
gentleman (or lady) is Bandido.
Before Bandido got wise to that the fact
that he is one of the family, and came around
only after dark, I decided to get a flash picture
of him at his table. I set up the camera some
distance from his dish, focused it for the
proper distance and led the long tube-release
inside the cabin.
When I heard the tell-tale noises, long
after dark, I tiptoed over to thekitchen window;
and peered cautiously out. There he was at
his dish, plain in the window-light, his mind
wholly occupied with the business at hand.
I squeezed the rubber bulb attached to the
release tube.
Tire flash went off along with the
shutter’s click –and all heck broke loose. The
instant the night exploded, Bandido left the 2
feet high porch in a sideways flight through the
air, landing 8 feet out in the yard. Even in the
air he turned his head to see what had leaped at
him out of the darkness, and the startled look
in his bulging eyes was so funny I couldn’thelp
insulting him with my uncontrolled applause: I
haven’t laughed so hard and so long in years.
At the moment of his record leap
Bandido’s hands were in his pan selecting the
Community Hospital in
Grants Pass. Medical records
and photos were requested
to document the extent of
the injury. Josephine County
Animal Control removed the
animals from the residence.
The dogs’ owners were
cooperative, but were unaware
of their canines ever being
aggressive.
*A shed in the 500 block
of Samarkand Drive was
broken into overnight, and a
solar system converter box
was taken. When the former
home owner passed away,
a fellow demanded various
items from the heirs of the
property. Coincidentally,
items which turned up
missing during the past few
months were noted on his
wish list. An incident number
was provided at 1:49 p.m.
*Joseph Carl Sallman,
30, was transported to the
OSP office in Grants Pass on
a temporary felony warrant,
morsel he’d just decided on. At take-off the
force of the retro-action threw the pan halfway
across the porch, scattering his food all over
the place.
As soon as I was able to make an
innocent and dignified appearance I went out
and started collecting the spilt food, and before
I had it all picked up Bandido was back on the
end of the porch watching me. The look he
gave me was a mosaic of doubt, suspicion and
mild reproach.
But well-fed bandits are forgiving souls.
We tacitly agreed to ignore the incident, and
our relationship since has been one of ever-
increasing mutual admiration and a tightening
of the undying bond of friendship that exists
between us.
Some of the world’s rambunctious
bigwigs might do well to copy from the book
whose inspiring dictums have been a guiding
light to Bandido and me.
(Photo by Al Hobart, for the Illinois Valley News)
charged with attempted
homicide. Sallman was
apprehended after being
located near Speedy Mart in
Selma at 18398 Redwood
Hwy. at 10:40 a.m.
*On July 3, a gal
reported that someone entered
her home in the 25100 block
of Redwood Hwy. on either
June 28 or 29. She claimed
that the hooligans stole $60,
damaged a locked storage
box, and destroyed a no-
trespassing sign on her front
gate.
*A thief was confronted
by an employee at 110 Deer
Creek Road July 2 because
he was seen placing cookies
in his pants. (That’s the way
the cookie crumbles.) As the
shoplifter left, he threatened
to teach employees to mess
with him. He returned at 7:45
p.m., irate and demanding to
know the name of a witness.
He left when police were
summoned, and will be
Bandito
trespassed from the store.
*The operator of a black
Chevy pickup truck was
warned for speeding near
Redwood Hwy. and Laurel
Road at 3:01 p.m.
*A motorcyclist was
warned regarding operating
on roadway with no
registration or insurance. He
was pulled over in the 100
block of N. Old Stage Road at
3:06 p.m. because there were
no plates on the bike.
*Jubilee Park was
patrolled at 3:12 p.m.
*A gal cursed and said,
“I need them here now”
before she hung up on a 911
call at 5:58 p.m. from the 300
block of S. Kerby Avenue.
When the dispatcher called
back, the gal said that her ex-
boyfriend left. She no longer
needed assistance from law
enforcement, and she hung
up on 911 because her ex was
disrespecting her mother. (Oh
no, he didn’t. Click.)
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