Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, Ore. Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Page A-5
‘Local Legends’ will address the loss of loved ones
By Laura Mancuso
IVN Staff
“Losing loved ones tends to be
a lonely experience that has many
of us stuck with an ache we feel
few, if any, understand. My hope
is to see community members who
understand this come together, share
some of what made our loved ones
special to us, and bring these loved
ones out of the quiet corners of our
hearts and into the honored space we
create,” said Healthy U’s Executive
Director Nicole Rensenbrink.
And that is why the special
on the LBMS cafeteria tables and are
limited to the width of a three-fold
with a small area in front where a
notebook, memory box and or some
other small items can be placed.
According to LBMS Principal
Scott Polen, “Anyone is welcome
to come and share memories. It
will be an open house format like a
science fair where people can walk
around and look at displays and have
discussions.”
When Polen was asked why
this program was created, he said,
“Nicole and I had this idea over
the summer to put on this program
kitchen service and there will be a
presentation called “Coping with
Loss through Support, Education,
Music and Movement” by
Rensenbrink. Also the LBMS choir
will be performing along with some
musical and dance performances by
students and dancefarm.
The main event will be the
displays created from LBMS and
I.V. High School students, as well
as community members, about
local loved ones who’ve died. The
community is invited to put together
a display honoring his or her lost
loved one. Displays will be shown
program, “Local Legends” will be
presented at Lorna Byrne Middle
School (LBMS) Thursday, March
23 from 5:30 – 7 p.m. This program
is collaboration between LBMS,
College Dreams and Healthy U.
This free community event will
be a gathering for Illinois Valley
residents to celebrate the loves
they’ve lost, because, according to
program coordinator, Rensenbrink
“in a small town, no one is famous
in the world at large, but we’re all
famous to each other.”
During the program, dinner
will be gifted by the LBMS
because we thought kids needed
some closure when their loved ones
died. In middle school it is often the
time when grandpas and grandmas
start passing away,” and added, “It
is also an opportunity to help them
keep memories alive.
“I’m so happy with this
community and it pleases me to
celebrate our community with this
program. It is another way we can
pay it forward.”
For more information or to
participate in the Local Legends
program please call Healthy U at
541-592-4888.
Healthy U News: by Nicole Rensenbrink
It was always the same: our parents would get ready
to go out while I hung on my mother’s legs, crying and
pleading for her to stay. She’d eventually shake me off
and leave, frustrated, without understanding the root of
my whininess. After a while, it’d be my bed time. I’d lie
in my room frozen, wanting to shut the door all the way
as an added block against him, but terrified of the dark.
I’d try to sleep. If I could really sleep, maybe I wouldn’t
know what happened. But I was too tense to pull that off,
so, lying in dread, I’d pretend. Then he’d come to the
door, “You want a back rub, Nik?” he’d ask. Like it was
really a back rub he offered, like it was really a question
at all.
He shaped my life. He carved a pathway in my
brain of what reality was: a place where I couldn’t say
no, a place of dark secrets, a place where guys could do
what they wanted and girls had to protect them, or else.
He taught me who I was: a girl without virtue, cheap,
perverse.
I remember seventh-grade health. The innocent
teacher had a diagram of a woman’s uterus on the wall
and was talking about menstrual cycles. My face got so
red I had to go to the bathroom. The safe place school had
always been was no more. It was the year I started failing.
I’m blessed I had enough early education so that I
it would help if we learned how our words and actions can
have more extreme reactions than we might have intended.
Perhaps, if those of us who aren’t operating from active
states of trauma understood the brain better and paid close
attention to the reactions of others, we’d develop tools
to help the overstressed calm down and communicate
effectively so that all parties moved forward. Perhaps,
then, we could start to build a community safe enough for
all brains to thrive, and perhaps, then, we would create a
truly brilliant world, a world in which all potentials are
reached.
The staff and volunteers of Healthy U present this
column as part of their mission to promote health in the
Illinois Valley.
could make up for it when I was grown, safe and ready.
It took a long time for my brain to quit being flooded
with stress chemicals and settle down from its heightened
arousal state to a state in which my frontal cortex, the part
that thinks intelligently and can make good choices, could
take over. I’m blessed it turned out (not my initial plan)
that I became a clinical social worker, trained to advocate
for underdogs, to understand the many ways people are
victimized by trauma or oppression.
No one likes the victim word, but victimization
occurs. I see child victims (whether or not they ever
think of themselves in such terms) grow up to be adults
whose brains remain so flooded with stress chemicals
that their potentials remain out of reach. As a social
worker, I’ve learned how entire classes of people have
experienced trauma and can even pass on to their children
the subsequent heightened arousal states trauma leaves
in its wake (Google “epigenetics”). I’ve learned that the
brain stem of a black grandson of a lynched man can
easily switch to experiencing threat around white men in
authority, whether or not he was ever a victim of overt
racism by them himself, and the daughter of a holocaust
survivor can feel faint when seeing a Swastika.
Pity doesn’t help anyone and healthy victims know
that. But, if we want to have a more functional populace,
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