Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, Ore. Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Page 2
One great aspect to the use of PCs is that when I’m
worn out from working, because we let our editor-in-
chief have a vacation, I can look back and find a previ-
ous column. Like this week. So here (again) are some
mostly amusing lines that ran three years ago:
*Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
*A day without sunshine is like night.
*On the other hand, you have different fingers.
*I just got lost in thought. I wasn't in familiar territory.
*Approximately 42.7 percent of all statistics are
made up on the spot.
*It’s 99% of lawyers who give the rest a bad name.
*I feel as though I’m diagonally parked in a parallel
universe.
*Honk if you love peace and quiet.
*Remember, half the people you know are below
average.
*He who laughs last thinks slowest.
*Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
*The early bird may get the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese.
*I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
*Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some
people have.
*Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of
your week.
*A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
*Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade.
*Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
*Always try to be modest, and be proud of it.
*If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of
payments.
*How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise
my hand.
*What’s the speed of dark?
*How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
*If everything seems to be going well, you have
obviously overlooked something.
*When everything is coming your way, you’re in the
wrong lane.
*Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now.
*Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just
do not have film.
*How much deeper would the oceans be without
sponges?
*Eagles may soar, but weasels do not get sucked
into jet engines.
*Light travels faster than sound, which is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Illinois Valley News is an equal-opportunity
advertising medium. Phone 592-2541.
(Editor’s Note: Views
and commentary, including
statements made as fact, are
strictly those of the letter-
writers.)
* * *
Typed, double-spaced
letters are considered for
publication. Hand-written
letters that are double-
spaced and legible also can
be considered. “Thank you”
submissions are not ac-
cepted as letters.
Positive reactions
From Fred & Karen
Luevano
Cave Junction
Several times the Illinois
Valley News has included
Lue-Van-O’s in articles,
which has brought us positive
reactions. We just wanted to
let you know how much we
appreciate this.
Monument expansion
From John Roth
Cave Junction
Josephine County Com-
missioner Dwight Ellis was
quoted in Illinois Valley News
(June 24) as saying, “It seems
like Congress is just trying to
grab more and more land. Any
time there’s a land grab by the
feds, I am against it.”
First, the land in question
is already federally managed.
Second, it is not owned by
Congress or other “feds,” but
owned by all of us.
Knee-jerk reactions like
this are often based on an
ideology both anti-history and
anti-science. For the past
eight years, the most ideo-
logically driven administra-
tion we have ever had de-
clared war on the science of
managing federal lands. Now,
with the new administration
based more on science, Ellis
laments and imagines that the
Oregon Caves expansion is
already “a done deal.”
Since Dwight moved to
Josephine County in 1988,
why didn’t he comment when
Oregon Caves solicited public
input on the proposed expan-
sion starting in the 1990s?
Nearly all of the thousand or
so letters and verbal com-
ments the monument received
supported the expansion.
It’s also not a “done
deal.” Anyone can still con-
tact their federal and state
representatives whether or not
they think the expansion
would enhance tourism in
Illinois Valley or better pro-
tect a “crown jewel” of our
nation.
The monument so far
this year has had at least a 10
percent increase in visitors on
cave tours over last year, an
amount reflected in increased
local tourism. Since most
other areas of Oregon are not
showing a comparable in-
crease, some of this may be
due to the increased market-
ing by the monument, the
monument’s concessionaire
(I.V. Community Develop-
ment Organization), the
Friends of Oregon Caves, and
local people too numerous to
mention.
Does anyone think that
having a monument big
enough to have a recogniz-
able shape on the Oregon
State Highway Map might
make it easier for tourists to
find us, rather than the dot the
monument now is?
We should not let knee-
jerk reactions not based on
facts get in the way of a pro-
posal that could have a posi-
tive economic effect on our
community.
Ellis fear unfounded
From Greg Walter
Cave Junction
Commissioner Dwight
Ellis expressed concern over
protecting the water quality of
our iconic Rogue River and
Oregon Caves (“Huge expan-
sion proposed for Caves
Monument,” Illinois Valley
News, June 24).
As a small business
owner, I’d like to shed some
light on these common-sense
proposals offered by legisla-
tors Peter DeFazio and Ron
Wyden so that Ellis can
sleep better.
He might be pleased to
know that every acre of the
proposed expansion of Ore-
gon Caves is already owned
by the American people -- no
feared “land grab” here. The
bill would simply change the
agency in charge of managing
the land to better protect the
monument’s water supply. I
think that’s a good thing for
the area’s most-visited attrac-
tion, and so does the local
rancher who holds the graz-
ing permit. He is voluntarily
retiring his permit.
More good news: The
acres of land that DeFazio
rightly aims to protect around
the Rogue River are already
public land too. Protecting the
(Continued on page 3)
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Call Don 592-4319
“To protect and preserve your home”
Thursdays, June 25 - August 6
6 to 8 p.m. Jubilee Park, Cave Junction
Thursday, July 2 - Dale Hopper
July 9 - East Fork
July 16 - Oregon Little Big Band
July 23 - Now & Then
July 30 - Broadway Phil & the Shouters
Aug. 6 - Jefferson
Serving hamburgers & more: I.V. Little League
Sponsored by: Bridgeview Vineyards Winery, Crocker
Financial/H&R Block, Curves, Evergreen Federal Bank,
Eye Care Group, Illinois Valley News, Northwest Hairlines,
River Mountain Printing, Rough & Ready Lumber Co.,
SOFCU, Sterling Savings Bank, Subway, Wild River
Brewing & Pizza Co.
Friday, July 3
Saturday, July 4
Sunday, July 5
Texas Hold ‘em Tourney
Tour Kerbyville Museum
5 p.m - Registration, Junction Inn
$50 Buy-in
IVHS Wrestling Club donates to our
$cholarship fund
Info: Jay Miller 597-2325
2 p.m., $2
Group price for Alumni
Public Invited
All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast
Saturday, July 4
22nd Annual
Alumni Golf
Tournament
Dance
8 p.m. to
Midnight, $5 cover
Junction Inn Timber Room
Public invited
Live Music...a new treat!!
Lee Nicholas will come from Portland to
entertain us with “Old Favorites”
including Mikey’s World Famous
Not-to-be-missed Biskits-n-Gravy
$5 (children $4) suggested donation
provided by
Cave Junction Cares
10% of the proceeds are donated to our
$cholarship fund
Silent Auction - Class Gift Baskets
8 a.m. - $60
I.V. Golf Course
Sunday, July 5
Public invited,
Bring buddies, friends, & relations!
Drawings
Info: Terry Reynolds 218-2261
Ryan Nolan 592-2914
Golf Course: 592-3151
Jubilee Park Pavilion
8:30 a.m. to Noon
1) Oregon Caves Chateau Doll House -
Mike McDermott, Class of ‘59
2) Camping Package - Class of ‘79
All tickets $5
202 S. Redwood Hwy.
592-5358
8 to 11 a.m.
Take donations to Kerbyville Museum
or bring them Sunday morning
Info: 592-5252
IVHS Alumni
& Friends
Annual Meeting
Sunday, July 5 at Noon
Jubilee Park Pavilion
Info: Ryan Nolan 592-2914