Page 2
Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, OR Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Continuing his periodic lazy daze, the editor this issue
chooses to use an email from daughter Vicki down south.
Enjoy.
* * *
He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I’d rather have the money.
* * *
He: I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like
yours.
She: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like
yours!
* * *
He: Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
She: Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
* * *
He: How did you get to be so beautiful?
She: I must’ve been given your share.
* * *
He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.
* * *
He: Your face must turn a few heads.
She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
* * *
He: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She: OK, get out.
* * *
He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?
* * *
He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.
* * *
He: Can I have your name?
She: Why? Don't you already have one?
* * *
He: Shall we go see a movie?
She: I’ve already seen it.
* * *
He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.
* * *
He: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
* * *
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
* * *
He: So, what do you do for a living?
She: I’m a female impersonator.
* * *
He: Hey baby, what's your sign?
She: Do not enter.
* * *
He: Your body is like a temple.
She: Sorry, there are no services today.
* * *
He: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
She: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
Helping Children Who Have
Been Exposed to Batterers
The Illinois Valley Safe
House Alliance is pleased to
offer our community
“Helping Children Who
Have Been Exposed to
Batterers.” This 16 week
program is designed for
parents, grandparents, foster
parents or anyone interested
in helping children who have
been exposed to domestic
violence.
At the end of 16 weeks
participants will receive a
certificate of completion.
Classes are always
free, however pre-
registration
is
required. Classes
begin October 22
and will be from
10:30 a.m. to noon
and will be held at
the Illinois Valley Resource
Center, 535 E. River Street,
Cave Junction.
To sign up or for
additional information please
call Susie, the Women’s
Advocate at 592-2515.
Illinois Valley
Safe House
Alliance -
More Than
a Safe Place
Illinois Valley News
www.illinois-valley-news.com
An Independent Weekly Newspaper Co-owned and published by
Robert R. (AKA Bob or El Jefe), Editor and Jan Rodriguez
Entered as second class matter June 11, 1937 at Post Office as Official Newspaper for
Josephine County and Josephine County Three Rivers School District, published at
321 S. Redwood Hwy., Cave Junction, OR 97523
Periodicals postage paid at Cave Junction, OR 97523
Post Office Box 1370 USPS 258-820
Telephone (541) 592-2541, FAX (541) 592-4330
Email: newsroom1@frontiernet.net or newsdesk@illinois-valley-news.com
Volume 70, No. 27
Staff: Michelle Binker, Zina Booth, Josiah Dean, Jennifer Newsted
Millie Watkins, and Tina Grow
Member: Oregon Newspaper Publishers Association
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POSTMASTER: Please send address changes to
P.O. Box 1370, Cave Junction OR 97523
(Editor’s Note: Views and
commentary, including state-
ments made as fact, are strictly
those of the letter-writers.)
* * *
Typed, double-spaced let-
ters written solely to this news-
paper are considered for publi-
cation. Hand-written letters that
are double-spaced and legible
also can be considered.
‘Thank you’ submissions
are not accepted as letters.
Preferred alternative
problems perceived
From Dorothea
Hover-Kramer
Cave Junction
Now that the public has
had a chance to see the
fancy displays and meet
with BLM personnel Sept. 6
in Cave Junction -- all at
taxpayer expense, of course
-- we need to sort out what
the proposed WOPR
(Western Oregon Plan Revi-
sion) really means.
Here are some facts
from what I learned:
*Passage of the WOPR
by Congress will triple the
logging levels in Western
Oregon.
*All three alternatives
proposed by BLM will
mean significant extraction
of old-growth trees
*The 2.6 million acres
under BLM jurisdiction will
gradually be converted to
tree farms as part of “timber
rotation.”
*The restrictions of the
Northwest Forest Plan that
Oregonians cherish will be
removed.
*Protections for wildlife
and habitats will be re-
moved.
*Watersheds will be
seriously compromised.
*Off -highway vehicles
will receive “emphasis ar-
eas” in our forests.
*Undergrowth
from clear-cutting and tree
plantations will increase fire
danger.
*We are going back-
wards to the timber wars of
the past rather than forward
to sustainable forest man-
agement.
*BLM misrepresents
the O&C Act to mean ongo-
ing “tree harvest” -- they
forget
the
word
“sustainable” and other pro-
visions of the act for sup-
porting local economies,
building recreation areas,
enhancing watersheds, en-
suring quality of life.
The best news, from
what I can gather, is that
none of the WOPR is neces-
sary. Indeed, it is more than
likely to increase warming
of our area, increase fire
danger, degrade the envi-
ronment, and impoverish
especially Illinois Valley.
The reason our area is
especially vulnerable is that
we have the predominant
number of “unharvested
areas,” and many of us live
next to BLM land. More
than 80 percent of our for-
ested areas in I.V. are under
federal jurisdiction. The
resultant degradation of our
surroundings will deter peo-
ple who wish to move here
and could increase the tax
base. After all, who would
want to live next to de-
stroyed forests?
For information about
the realities of WOPR the
public can attend a meeting
Oct. 2 at the county building
in Cave Junction at 7 p.m.
Lesley Adams, outreach
coordinator from K S Wild
will speak, and answer ques-
tions and concerns.
She finds WOPR
hard to swallow
From Susanne Kindi
Fahrnkopf,
financial manager
Siskiyou Regional Educa-
tion Project, Takilma
Jim Raffenburg, chair-
man of the Josephine
County Board of Commis-
sioners, stated that the
WOPR scientifically proves
that significant harvests can
be accomplished while still
honoring the environment.
He says that the pre-
ferred alternative would
provide 3,500 jobs and $108
million in annual revenues
to Oregon counties.
The jobs they tout as an
outcome of the plan are tim-
ber-felling jobs, not cur-
rently employing more than
a few Josephine County
residents. Will the jobs for
laborers to do the restoration
materialize? Will their fuels
reduction efforts include
using a slashbuster and
burning piles with plastic?
Will they use herbicides
and threaten water sup-
plies? Will any of the logs
stay here in our mills and
building supply stores? I ask
who will benefit from
WOPR besides corporations,
and how will they benefit?
Remember that the
WOPR is on the lands that
checkerboard around the
low-elevation private lands
of the county; therefore the
plan will affect people far
more than what happens on
U.S. Forest Service land.
The loss of protections for
old-growth trees, riparian
areas, rare wildflowers, and
all wildlife are the most seri-
ous changes that may anger
the neighbors who see the
results of this plan.
The funds for county
services such as the library
and the sheriff’s office
should not depend on the
logging of our remaining
native forests since this will
not solve the problem of
long-term funding for our
future.
We should achieve
those goals through
diversification and shifting
agencies efforts to fuels re-
duction and ecological
restoration.
The real solution for
Josephine County is to legis-
latively protect its vast
Kalmiopsis Wilderness and
surrounding wild lands. Cre-
ating this entity would cre-
ate many types of economic
opportunities; jobs for
young people and another
treasure for recreation and
tourism.
We need to end public
controversy, protect Ore-
gon's resources and beauty,
and build consensus on how
to best keep our forests
healthy for future genera-
tions.
Resident asks, ‘Where’s
the truth to WOPR?’
From Gloria J. Ziller
O’Brien
BLM is at it again with
its latest web (WOPR) in
which it is attempting to
ensnare the public. The
agency is hosting numerous
open houses at which it has
pounds of chopped-up trees
(a.k.a. paper) available with
misleading print.
As this administration
so often likes to do, it is
again using scare tactics to
try and entice us into believ-
ing that what it wants to do
is what’s best for us and our
forests.
All of BLM’s preferred
alternatives will actually
increase fire danger, damage
and/or destroy habitat, in-
crease noxious weeds, ad-
versely affect global warm-
ing and alas, cut down many
of our precious few remain-
ing old-growth trees. Its
only alternative of any value
is the No Action alternative.
It has carefully con-
structed many puzzle pieces
to this issue that all together
spell big trouble for us and
our local forests. The so-
called stewardship pro-
grams, biomassing our for-
ests, the WOPR -- all of
these are interconnected, but
most people have not had
opportunity to see the big
picture yet. The truth is, it’s
not a pretty picture.
Those who want further
information, and something
more resembling the truth,
will have opportunity at the
county building in Cave
Junction on Tuesday, Oct. 2
at 7 p.m. Oregon Heritage
Forests campaign will host
“An Evening on BLM’s
‘Whopper’.”
About homosexuals; ‘let
God do His business’
From Linda Schluter
Tedder
Cave Junction
One day last week, right
in front of the Cave Junc-
tion Post Office a couple of
women were having a “One
Man One Woman” petition
signed.
Hey, haven’t we already
voted on this real nonissue?
Don’t these good women of
Cave Junction have some-
thing better to do with their
time? Oh, they had a few
signatures, but again, we
already voted on this.
So many people con-
sider themselves “Good
Christians.” “Not perfect,
just forgiven.” How smug
can you get?
In the grand scheme of
things, how do homosexuals
or any alternative life styles
really affect us? Let’s see, as
I remember, “Judge not lest
thee be judged” is a good
saying that applies to this
situation.
It’s hardly a tragedy
who marries whom: a 50
percent divorce rate is a trag-
edy. The illegitimate birth
rate is a tragedy. Gay mar-
riage pales in comparison.
Just let God do His
business. He probably sees
many of us unable to run
our own lives, much less
anyone else’s.
Believe me, noth-
ing bad will happen should
we just be able to love and
marry whom we want. How
does it benefit anyone when
two people cannot marry
and just live a good life?
Hey, just read “Police
Blotter” in this very newspa-
per; seems as though the
heteros have the corner mar-
ket on crazy.
I end this letter with,
“God is Love.”
Criticism leveled toward
deputy’s, sheriff’s actions
From Wally Aiken
Kerby
Illinois Valley is a great
community. Oh, we have
some problems, but it still is
a beautiful, friendly area.
Our principle problem
has been a lack of law en-
forcement. Then along
comes Gil Gilbertson prom-
ising real action toward the
issue. He promised in-
creased action against the
illegal and dangerous meth
dealers and manufacturers.
He said during a fund-
raiser at Bridgeview Vine-
yards Winery in November
that the mechanics already
were in place with the state
government to use National
Guard troops to assist in the
raiding of these enterprises.
He promised increased
attention to seizure policies
that would allow the county
to confiscate property,
money, etc. used in illegal
operations. All wonderful
promises.
So what do we get for
our support? On the night of
Thursday, Sept. 13, right in
Cave Junction, we had
county deputies staking out
closed businesses at 5 p.m.,
issuing citations to people,
who for instance, pulled into
an empty bank parking lot to
use an ATM. They were
parked in “No Parking”
zones.
We had deputies issuing
citations to people who were
unloading essentials for
businesses because they
were parked too close to a
handicapped spot. These
were deserted parking lots
that served closed busi-
nesses.
The officer’s name is
Charles MacNeil, who
maybe could be helpful in
Iraq. He could be there issu-
ing citations for littering in
Baghdad.
I, for, one, am certainly
considering recall for the
incompetence and lack of
professional demeanor dis-
played by our sheriff.
(Continued on page 3)
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