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About Illinois Valley news. (Cave City, Oregon) 1937-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 23, 2005)
Page 11 Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, OR Wednesday, February 23, 2005 Bob’s Other Corner It’s getting ever more difficult to find movies that don’t offend my tender sensitivities. I find most movies to be vapid, insipid and offensive, or a combination, and simply a waste of time, as far as I’m concerned, which is quite a distance. I mean, if I’m going to devote 90 to 120 minutes to something, it better be worthwhile. And it seems to me that many of today’s “stars” can’t act their way out of a closet. Many have a single expression for all emotions, and they mumble their lines, which drives me nuts because I can’t understand what they’re saying in their roles. In addition, (“supermarket tabloids,” various maga- zines and TV programs take note) I could not care less about to whom they’re married or for how long; what they enjoy for dinner; and with whom they’re having a fling; or who’s divorcing whom and why. Or why they’re depressed, or their favorite recipes, or their cellu- lite problem. I don’t care. It has no meaning in my life. I don’t want to see blatantly sexually oriented films disguised as “cute” or “with it” stories. I don’t want to see gratuitous violence, nor do I enjoy tales of horror with grotesque creatures and heart-stopping sequences of unbelievable savagery. I want movies with substance. It’s tough to select movies because all too often the descriptions on the wrapper, obviously written by people who haven’t watched the film, are misleading. Plus, you’ve got to read through all the tiny-print words, not just the first sentence or phrase, to avoid being led astray. Here are some examples: *“Submarine Adventure.” Starring Rock Hard and Suzie Smoochie, this compelling undersea drama takes viewers into a world of unparalleled beauty beneath the waves as a research vessel encounters gigantic, acid- shooting slime snakes while the intoxicated crew is en- gaged in a wild orgy and … REJECT! *“Pro Cheerleaders Rock!” Starring Jorja Retch, Sandee Beach, Maralunn Flingmaster and Barrbbarraa Hotflash. A tender tale of what it’s like to move into the big league of professional cheerleading, told from the perspective of four women who escaped from convents before entering the high-energy world of men’s locker rooms, endless booze and drugs, plus … REJECT! *“Moon Monster Mash.” Described as a “delightfully whimsical comedy” by the “N.Y. Times,” this fast-paced sci fi extravaganza shows how easy-going space traveler Jacque Stropp becomes embroiled in a tangled web of outlandish incidents while outbound from the Moon to Venus while fighting off hordes of naked women and a stowaway fang-headed Moon monster with … REJECT! I think I’ll go read a book. One with a plot. PRESIDENTIAL EVENT - Lorna Byrne Middle School 7th graders gather in the school’s gymnasium Friday, Feb. 18 in recognition of Presidents Day which was officially observed Monday, Feb. 21. Stu- dents in individual groups took turns com- ing forward and present- ing brief historical com- ments having to do with former presidents. The ceremony opened with the students reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. (Photo by Shane Welsh) 202 S. Redwood Hwy. 592-5358 Taylor’s Own Oregon Trail Busters Soft Jerky Small story provides much food for thought This is a story about an old man who explained to his young grandson about a battle inside himself. The grandfather said, “My child, the battle inside me is between two wolves; one of which is evil, full of anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, hypocrisy, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. “The other,” he said, “is so good; full of remem- brance of faith, joy, peace, love, compassion, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, gen- erosity and truthfulness.” The grandson pondered a moment, and then asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the battle?” Without a second’s hesitation, the grandfather replied, “The one I feed.” Original or Jalapeño only $9 95 lb. Taylor’s Cheddar Dogs If you consider what are called the virtues in mankind, you will find their growth is assisted by education and cultivation. Regular or Jalapño - Xenophon - $3 50 lb. Wed. Ladies Night Garlic Rosemary Chicken Breast w/house salad $7 95 Thurs. UBA* open mic, host Fred Epping Scrabble competition Peppered NY Steak w/ Romaine & honey poppy - seed dressing $9 95 Fri. ‘2-Foot Daddy’ Stuffed Pork Chops w/ apricot glaze $9 95 Sat. Fred Epping You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. - Fred Allen - Additional Listings Besides the program listings provided, the following also are among those available from Charter Communications. For information about costs that might apply, contact the company. 1-800-338-8838 *12 - QVC *14 - Better Life TV *16 - Home Shopping *23 - Community Bulletins *25 - Fox News *26 - C-Span/House of Rep. *27 - C-Span 2 (Senate) *28 - ESPN 2 *31 - CNN Headline News *33 - Fox Sports Northwest *36 - Country Music TV *37 - Nashville Channel *40 - The History Channel *41 - The Learning Channel *42 - Cartoon Network *43 - Home & Garden TV *44 - The Weather Channel Sings Prime Rib $9 95 Sun. Finny’s Fab Lasagna $5 95 <<MONDAY-FRIDAY<MORNING/AFTERNOON>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 Mama’s Saved by Saved by Movie F [WTBS] Mama’s Family Family the Bell the Bell Joyce Feed the Digimon- Digimon- Power Beyblade 3rd Rock- Living the G [FOXFAM] Meyer Children Digital Digital Rangers Sun Life Mary Tyler Mary Tyler Bob Bob Paid Paid Green H [FOX] Moore Moore Newhart Newhart Program Program Green Acres Acres Today I [KOBI] News Sports- Varied Programs Sports- Varied Programs Sports- J [ESPN] Sports- Center Center Center Center Business BBC Dragon Berens- Sesame Street Boohbah Teletub- K [KSYS] Rpt. World Tales tain Bears bies John Rod Marilyn Believer’s Varied Programs L [TBN] Changing- World Hagee Parsley Hickey Voice Paid Fit & Lite Daily Mad Designing Golden The M [LIFE] Paid Program Program Workout About You Women Girls Nanny The Early Show The 700 Club 1: [KTVL] News Hey Oddpar- Jimmy Rugrats Sponge- Dora the Blue’s 1; [NICK] Varied Programs Arnold! ents Neutron Bob Explorer Clues News Cont’d Good Morning America Live With Regis and 1= [KDRV] Kelly 1? [USA] Walker, Texas Ranger Coach Coach Movie Paid Varied Programs Movie Varied Programs 1A [A&E] Paid Program Program Movie Varied Programs 1B [HBO] Movie Varied Programs 1C [SHOW2] 2030 CE Movie Movie Varied Programs Movie 2; [SHOW] Cont’d Varied Programs Movie Varied Programs 2< [MAX] Movie Cont’d One on Up Close Jack Strongest Sport- Sport- Sport- Varied 2C [ESPCL] One LaLanne Man sCentury sCentury sCentury Programs Epicu- Travel Varied Programs Great Great Passport Vacation 3: [TRAV] rious Cafe Hotels Hotels to Europe Challenge Varied Programs 3> [AMC] Movie The Pretender Angel Charmed 3? [TNT] The Lost World Winnie- Bear in The Koala The Higgly- JoJo’s The Stanley 3B [DISN] Pooh House Brothers Wiggles town Circus Wiggles Paid Paid Paid Paid Varied Programs 3C [SCIFI] Program Program Program Program Paid Paid Paid Paid Paid Double Agents 4? [DISC] Paid Program Program Program Program Program Program Funniest Pet Star World Gone Wild Growing Up... 4@ [ANPL] Funniest Animals Animals Paid Paid Paid Paid Movie 4A [COM] Program Program Program Program Paid Paid Paid Paid Paid Paid Open Court 4B [CRT] Program Program Program Program Program Program 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30 12:00 12:30 Dawson’s Creek Dawson’s Creek Ed The 700 Club Gilmore Girls Paid Program Newton Media Full Full House House Quincy, M.E. 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