Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, OR Wednesday, April 16, 2003
(WARNING: The following column, under the Federal
Boring Stuff Law, has been determined to rate “Boring 6”
on a scale of 1-10. Therefore, easily bored readers should
avoid the following.)
Way back in the Olden Days and Once Upon a Time
during That Time, a certain young man, not even wet behind
his ears, got a job working in a warehouse filled with candy,
cigarettes, canned soup and other such stuff. The warehouse
was used to fill the individual storerooms of route men, who
stuffed such products into a variety of vending machines.
When the particular young man we’re talking about ar-
rived on the scene, the warehouse was run by a Spanish-
speaking man, who took great delight in making outrageous
statements to certain women. These fine examples of wom-
anhood often had to enter the cave-like environs of the
warehouse to deliver and pick up various sheaves of paper-
work.
The warehouseman would comment about their physical
features, often bordering on the lewd, but he never looked
rude or crude. He just smiled sweetly at the women, who,
not speaking Spanish, would smile back and be on their
way, never realizing that this guy was perhaps a bit over the
edge.
He finally left the job, perhaps to open a drug-smuggling
business or a movie arcade frequented by vice cops. Any-
way, he was replaced by a hot rod-driving man in his early
20s, who had blond hair worn in a flat top with a ducktail.
He was a pretty cool guy, but conceited for some reason.
After not too long a time, Mr. Ducktail was able to be-
come a route man, mostly because the pay was better, and
because he became weary of moving about heavy pallets of
boxed products and then transferring the individual boxes
into the route men’s storerooms as per their written orders.
Meanwhile, the certain young man mentioned earlier
was keeping his eyes open. Also his ears, which he hoped
would get wet eventually in their rear, thereby marking him
as a man of maturity.
The next warehouseman was in his mid-40s or so, and a
military veteran, having served during World War II as a
BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle) man. He was feisty. He
also was short and had some sort of inferiority complex. But
he was a hard worker, having run his own business in the
East after the war, and he took a liking to the certain young
man. He told the latter a lot about life in general, with some
specifics that might better have gone unsaid, as some of
what he passed on caused the early wetness behind the
young man’s ears to sizzle.
But Charlie, as we’ll call him, was a funny guy, always
ready with a wisecrack; and he had a good heart. He and the
young man got along well, sharing such adventures as what
to do when you drop four 1-gallon glass containers of sim-
ple syrup onto an inclined concrete floor; what to do when
you find a large bag full of dimes that no one else knows
about; and how to take care of each job as though you
owned the place. And keep that attitude in mind all the time,
so that no one gets away with giving you any static, even if
they weigh 265, stand 6 feet 4 inches; and, as they say in
Texas, “needed killin’.”
Besides moving boxes of candy and stuff around, we
also had to run the cigarette cartons through a machine for
inking on the cigarette tax stamp. What with samples, spills
and spoils, and the largesse of various sales representatives,
Charlie was never without smokes, and I … I mean, that
certain young man … had all the candy and crackers he
could choke down. It was a good time, even with the hard
work.
And I … I mean, that certain young man, still wonders
whatever happened to ol’ Charlie, and whether he’s still
chucking boxes, or if he wiped himself out smoking all
those free cigarettes. Maybe someday he’ll find out.
Illinois Valley News
An Independent Weekly Newspaper Co-owned and
published by Robert R. (Bob) and Jan Rodriguez
Bob Rodriguez, Editor El Jefe
Entered as second class matter June 11, 1937 at Post Office as
Official Newspaper for Josephine County and Josephine County
Three Rivers School District, published at 321 S. Redwood Hwy.,
Cave Junction, OR 97523
Periodicals postage paid at Cave Junction, OR 97523
Post Office Box 1370 USPS 258-820
Telephone (541) 592-2541, FAX (541) 592-4330
Volume 66, No. 4
DEADLINES:
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(Classified ads & uncomplicated display ads can be accepted
until Noon, Monday with an additional charge.)
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the editor provided they are of general interest, in good taste,
legible and not libelous. All letters must be signed, using
complete name, and contain the writer’s address and telephone
number. The latter need not be published, but will be used to
verify authenticity. The ‘News’ reserves the right to edit letters.
One letter per person per month. Letters are used at the
discretion of the publisher. Unpublished letters are neither
acknowledged nor returned. A prepaid charge may be levied if a
letter is inordinately long in the editor's opinion.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
One year in Josephine County - $20.80
One year in Jackson and Douglas Counties - $24.40
One year in all other Oregon counties and out-of-state -$28
POSTMASTER:
Please send address changes to
P.O. Box 1370, Cave Junction, OR. 97523
‘Record season’
From Kevin O’Brien
Cave Junction
Current events are under-
standably tending to draw in-
terest and attention outside of
our communities here in the
valley. I would like to express
the deep sense of appreciation
I feel toward everyone in-
volved in the riparian tree
planting program, and this
year’s tree planting day. The
tradition of success that began
more than 10 years ago rose to
new heights this season due to
the level of commitment ex-
hibited in protecting and im-
proving our riparian areas.
I’ve had the privilege of
being involved with success-
ful natural resources programs
in other regions of our coun-
try, but none of them hold a
candle to the deep sense of
shared value this area has for
this program. I count it a great
privilege to work with you in
making this program happen.
I’m already looking for-
ward to next season.
‘Pool funding’
From Lynne Vanderlen-
den
Cave Junction
Rita Dyer’s efforts to ob-
tain funding for the pool have
rekindled an old flame in my
heart.
Several years ago, I had a
neck operation and my sur-
geon suggested post operative
water therapy classes at the
Grants Pass YMCA. My
classes included folks recuper-
ating from heart attacks, knee
replacements, back surgery
and even those with Parkin-
son’s Disease. I know several
were there just for the social/
mental wellness aspect.
I became such an advo-
cate, that I engaged in a one-
man-band campaign here in
the valley to get our pool cov-
ered for year-round use, and
even adding a second floor for
weight training, aerobics, ex-
ercise machines and the like.
Our pool has the same
dimensions and basic architec-
ture as the Grants Pass pool,
and would lend itself well to
its supplication. I feel a plastic
bubble cover to extend our
pool’s use for a month or so is
shortsighted and more of a
Band-Aid than a permanent
solution.
While everyone supported
this idea, I finally came to the
realization that enthusiasm,
fund-raisers and donations get
you nowhere. Grant money is
where it’s at.
I even took a course in
grant writing and it didn’t take
long to realize it was too deep
for me! I did learn that grants
are much like scholarships -
all the money you need does-
n’t necessarily have to come
from one source. The upside
is, we have many knowledge-
able and experienced grant
writers right here in the valley.
Here are some resources
to ponder 1) Retirees with the
time and expertise in the grant
writing field who would be
willing to help. 2) Our popula-
tion is gearing itself toward
seniors. Can AARP be con-
tacted about ideas for fund-
ing? 3) Can our high school or
RCC obtain scholastic funding
for a swim team (PE credits)?
4) A year-round pool and ex-
ercise training facility could
be a big business (e.g., Gold’s
Gym). The IVCRT is doing
seasonal business at the Ore-
gon Caves. Why not a year-
round business employing and
serving many? There’s a lot of
money to be made from class
fees. 5) Head Start and the
Boys & Girls Club get fund-
ing from somewhere. Where,
and what else is available for
our youngsters? 6) We have
four major financial institu-
tions here that should be more
than willing to kick in a small
percentage of their profits.
After all, we provide those
profits. 7) We are an Eco-
nomic Enterprise Zone (poor
and down-trodden), surely
there’s something in that des-
ignation to help keep our kids
off the streets and positively
focused while their parents
either look for work or hold
down jobs, praying their latch-
key children aren’t submitting
to the wrong kinds of peer
pressure in their absence. 8)
The medical community
knows what health-related
grants are out there. Physical
therapy and mental well-being
are just a start. Many of our
residents have no transporta-
tion to the Grants Pass
YMCA. 9) The Siskiyou Re-
gional Education Project has
many members and a staff
with expertise in grant writ-
ing. As they feel eco-tourism
is the wave of our future,
here’s a chance for them to do
something constructive for the
entire community. What better
place to shower, work out the
kinks in the pool and just relax
after hiking through our edu-
cational burn?
From children to seniors,
to recreationalists, tourists and
the health-minded, we have
the clientele and the responsi-
bility to support a year-round,
heated pool.
RAIN WRECK - No injuries were reported in a single-vehicle
crash on Redwood Hwy. at the north end of Cave Junction,
near Wild River Brewing & Pizza Co., on Friday afternoon,
April 11. It appeared that a slick roadway, because of rain,
might have contributed to the accident. Josephine County
Sheriff’s Office deputies and American Medical Response
medics responded to the accident, off the Redwood Hwy.
lane for northbound traffic.
5 Star Mobile PC Service
Free Pickup & Delivery!*
No Fix/No Charge!
Senior & New Customer Discounts!
Member of Grants Pass/Josephine County Chamber of Commerce
541-956-9688
Grants Pass, OR
*in Josephine County
MANSFIELD R. CLEARY
Attorney at Law
‘Sound familiar’
From Charles Jacobs
Selma
This Korean veteran is
constantly amazed by the
number of people who write
to the paper criticizing people
like me who oppose the war
with Iraq. They believe that
we do not love our country or
that we are unpatriotic.
Nothing is further from
the truth. We simply do not
want our young women and
men killed, nor do we want to
see Iraqis killed whose only
sin is having been born in
Iraq. According to UNICEF,
there were some 500,000 Iraqi
children who lost their lives as
a consequence of the last Gulf
War.
Here is a formula that was
used by the Third Reich. See
General Practice in
Illinois Valley since 1980
Practice includes but not limited to:
Bankruptcy - Eliminate
financial problems
Living trusts - Avoid probate
Estate planning - Wills,
power of attorney
Domestic relations
Auto accident - Personal Injury
Criminal - DUII
Real Estate contracts - Foreclosure
592-2195
200 W. Lister
(Continued on page 3)
Spring Recycle Round-Up
(Can Slam)
Saturday, April 26
9 a.m. to 2 p.m.
I.V. Visitor Center
* TIN CANS & ALUMINUM: Labels ok
* NEWSPAPERS & MAGAZINES
* CARDBOARD & PAPERBOARD
Cereal-type boxes, fiber egg cartons,
shoe boxes 6 or 12 pack cartons,
cardboard tubes
RECYCLE
Staff: Cindy Newton, Britt Fairchild,
Chris Robertson, Sharon Silva & Becky Loudon
Member: Oregon Newspaper Publishers Association
(Editor’s Note: Views and
commentary expressed in
letters to the editor are
strictly those of the letter-
writers.
* * *
Typed,
double-spaced
letters are acceptable for
consideration.
Hand-
written letters that are
double-spaced and highly
legible also can be con-
sidered for publication.
Cards of thanks are not
accepted as letters.)
* * *
RECYCLE
Page 2
Remove waxed or foil-lining, etc…
*PLASTIC BOTTLES #’s 1-7: Neck smaller than base.
NO tubs, NO lids, NO motor oil or anti-freeze containers.
NO buckets, NO furniture
*MIXED WASTE PAPER: Junk mail, scrap paper,
paper bags, paperback books & phone books
Rinse out all food & soap containers.
SORRY! NO glass this time - (Take to Kerby Transfer Station)