A Th e Clackamas Print
game was a
B-4 movie,
I By Steven W eldon
The Clackamas Print
T h e ten sio n is high. You
smell* the ie a r in jy o u r dpposi-j
tiorij as y ou call o u t I D -3i”|
an d i im p atien tly iwait fpr thei
response. If th e response is hit,?
elation fillsiyour h eart asT ouarej
one step closer to e h m |n a tin ^
you< o p p o n en t’s piece. W ith a peheii-ands-papen gam p cre
. sm all grin, your epem y exclaims j ated’ b efbrf W orld W a r d , the
B radley C o m p a n y
| “miss,” and you begrudgingly ’ M ilto n
place a w hite, plug in to your published Jthe gam e ini 1943,1
b o aid . T h d .m i n d ^ m e c o n r i n - an d jin
ues las the! adversary attem pts into« th e board gam e we knowj
to e ia c t re f erige o n their previ-j an d ; love, 1 O riginally known!
as ‘^Broadsides, th e G am e -ofj
ously h it gam e pieces. |
“B attleship” is the) clas-/ Naval Strategy,” gam eplay hasj
sic’ /gam e "o f; guessing^ stratp n o t’Changed m u ch over the lash
' egy an d war. O riginally a century. Four grids are used to
BATTLESHIP
ÜMt.
T h p virn ^^B M d esh ^co versp ta ks to the gaitoes longevity^í^dpi^ulhritylTÓriginallyfpublished as a,
pentii, andpapergame in 1943iby Milton-Bradley, it is1 stÜl^played;today.^
Abandon ship;
seems entirely forced. It’s Hike h e
aced@clackamas.edu
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
I planned opt a. big b u d g et'sd -fir
c<
•
”
place ship pieces pnd keeb tra c k tie-ins. O th e r variations in clude
o f shots fired a n d ^ h e L iry play-1 .m obile editions,! v id eo gam e
H 'td successfully'Sm k’ ^eath o f e d itiô rif à r iî th en 'ëw ësty ërsîo n
their o pponents’ ships wins the! incllides islands in w hiçh capi
game . __ _________________ 1 turefa m an! p ieces are i nvol ved
T here are a few ways to play an d th e b o ard uses n o p -trad i-
“ Bat ties hip,’’.and> little k n o w n tiorsaF'hexagonal 1 tiles. O f f o f,
w ay 'is called ‘SALVO.’ In*the th e {board gam e realm, a gam e
dictionary,/ th e term hs .defined related to peer p o n g was devel
as a sim ultaneous, discharge op ed as a j spinoff. Battleshots
o f firearm s.’ T h is ’isexactly tne“ involves tHe sam e “B attleship”
gameplay, excepts an o p p o n en t
. objdct’o f tJieB attle^hip edition
;• o f the game. D u rin g a players’ fires th eir {ping-pong ball over
tu rn , the n u m b er o f spaces th e dividing piece, to attem p t to
th e ball in to ;a cup.
called oujLcprresponds id how «in jc
O n ce all d rin k cups
m any ships the attacker has.
are gone, gam eplay
Five ships allow five sh o ts ,a n d
is over an d th e loser
so on. U
is p r o b a b l y a ï Î t t l e
"""Awhile" t h C glm e, play
buzzed.
itself has n o t changed
, P lay in g
B a ttle sh ip ”,
sincepapeigridsbecam ey
ta^es unjder 30 m in u tes to
p lasfjc' h p afd "grids,T '
coniplete Usually, w ith an even
there have been som e
variants. In A 9 7 7 , e le h ro n ic faster setu p like SALVO it
c a n 'b e evén faster. Battles are
“B attleship” - h i t / shelves^ an d
i n i 989, talking “ Battleship” enjoyable J a n d can e v e n e n tic e
friendly rivalry an d tense situ
m ade it^jJjehut./ In 2012, elec-
tronic “B attleship” was rein ations. C h eatin g ; is very easy,
vented for the release 40T the- however, as on e q u ick look
feature-film /ndVy, in theaters^ could blo sf th e cover o f y our
an d there are added special o p p o n en t’s en tire fleet. A ll the
while, “Battleship” stands as a
w eapons for gameplay.
garde that! transcends time' as
D ifferent brands have been
its prem ise is relevant in every
placed on th e “B attleship
nam e,” w ith “Star W ars” and tim e period.
|1 Piijates ;o f the?; C aribbean” as
AÀV movie sinks in theaters
want commanding a fleet ®f ships;
After getting tased by the cops
action film and, through whatever for trying to break into a closed
Movies based on games have; circumstances, had to sell it to the ' convenience store in order to fetch
for Ithe m ost part,, followed ,4 highest bidder in order tdfeeepjtl; the chicken burrito needed to win
pattern o f [being pretty terrible; afloat. P u n m o st certainly jintend-J the heart o f Samantha, played by
We’ve had everything from “Super ed. In this case, the highest bidden ; Brooklyn Decker, he finds himself
Mario B ro srto “Mortal Kombat,” w asH asbro who, apparendy also in the Navy w here;lo andbehold;
“Cliie” to “¡Tomb Raider” and the bought the rights to “Batdeship.” I her father is a decorated admiral
T he movie takes its time get played by Liam Neeson. O h, how
list goes on. W ith a game fran
chise, its usually not that difficult ting out to sea, but before it does the mighty have fallen.Long story
to stick with the {subject matter, youm ust endure a barrage o f face- , short, things happen and three
palm-worthy clichés. A lexander. ships find themselves face, to lace
when your subjectjmatter |
Skarsgárd plays the high- with the least interesting o f all
is a board game? W ell/L/t
achieving hard-ass, known alien races and moments
Stone , Hopper? latef the batde robs Alex o f his
yo u 'd o n ’t. You waste mil
while
Taylor brother and idol and he is thrust
lions o f dollars and worse than
Kitsch plays his into comrpand, leaving m e think
that, more than two fidi hours of
”er brodieh Alex ing ^ O K n h '..; a useless character
youhg-
m y time!
. W hile “Real Steel” Jn a y as Hopper, a character straightout; of I had no attachment to is dead.
well have called itself “Rock’em every bad movie since the ‘70s and I think I feel something L n o p e ,..
Sock’em Robots: T he Molde,” thè someone who clearly exhibits the neverm ind. It wasjust headhunt.”
worst decision making skills pos
T he battle scenes are jufct about
tide for Peter Berg’s film ‘adaption
o f the classic Milton Bradley game sible. Just the kind o f person you’d • the only redeeming part o f the
movie, b ut Sadly, they are pock
marked by th e appearance o f
m any other forgettable and utterly
useless characters. ‘ N ot the least
.of which is ’a Jeff G oldbloom -«
esque scientist, played by Ham ish
Linklater, ;circa*jTndep|ndence
T ^ ^ c © m p le te “Viddi “rio n se m i^ ”*'
science banter. Popisinger Rhianna
is also c a stjn th is ¿movie as a gun*
her [named Cora 'Raikes, and to
m y {surprise her performance was
actually the- most enjoyable.
Looking deeply at this movie,
the only thing I managed to real
ly enjoy were the special effects.
While not , many? of the effects
led to anything that made sense,
‘^BdttleshipC the hoard game, makes fo r d boring movie viewing &#>?;■ they did itiwell. T he detail o f die
rience when translated t& the big screenl Thfe iMovie opened May 18. 1 alien ships, beautiful explosions
an d reasonable renderingsvof naval
By James Duncan
Design Editor 1
ArtrpLulture
having m y spleen run through a
cheese grater would still
able to sitting through this movie
again.
j
ships werepleasing to theeye, but
through all o f the special' effects
the story keeps interfering and
taking away from the whole thing.
I mean the movie was like a shard
of colored glass, interesting to look
at and even kind o f pretty, but you
wOtjldht want to jab it into your
eyes for two hours. It seems like
to
2 oirr of 5 stars
R ?
Dine-I
ite r in e
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