iris Culture
The Clackamas Print 5
Wednesday, Feb. 2, 2011
pinion: Halftime show to be big flop
By John Simmons
Copy Editor
th, the Super Bowl. Football is arguably the most
Mar sport in America today, and the Super Bowl
something for everyone. It has football for the
is fans, great commercials for the rest of us
the halftime show for everyone,
tith a show that’s supposed to attract
ences from all generations, the plan-
of the halftime show certainly have
■ work cut out for them. For the
half of the 2000s, they had mostly
emporary performers; then, after
nfamous wardrobe malfunction of
t Jackson and Justin Timberlake,
swung the opposite direction,
hr most of my Super Bowl-
png years I’ve been watching
timers like Tom Petty & the
breakers, The Rolling Stones
The Who perform on stage for
linutes, bored out of my mind,
to say these bands aren’t good;
just lack the youthful appeal and
¡cal style that my teenage self has
¡to appreciate,
lit now the show producers are try-
to appeal to my generation again,
li is something I’m grateful for; how-
ll’m not too pleased with their choice:
Black Eyed Peas.
my book, The Black Eyed Peas are one
e worst things to happen to modem music.
■ abuse of Auto-Tune is out of control, and
music has gotten progressively more and more
lie and less and less aurally pleasant. Don’t even get
arted on the ways the song “(I’ve Had) Thè Time of My
Life” by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes was utterly ruined by
BEP’s song “The Time,(Dirty Bit).” Come on, you know
you hate that song, too.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that BEP has
been involved with the Super Bowl. It was part of
the 2005 Super Bowl pregame show “Bridging
Generations” in Jacksonville, performing
with Earth, Wind and Fire, Alicia Keys and
Gretchen Wilson with The Charlie Daniels
Band. They also performed at the 2009
NFL Kickoff Concert in Pittsburgh.
I have to give credit to The Black
Eyed Peas for scoring the gig, and I
understand that it’s difficult for pro--
ducers to choose an act that will suit
a vast array of musical tastes, but I
think BEP is a horrible representation
of what my generation likes in music.
Yes, they’re a Grammy Award-win
ning group, but that really doesn’t
mean much to my peers and me. We
want a good show, not a group that
turns out such drivel as “Imma Be.”
I think bands such as Lifehouse
or Paramore would be more likely
to appeal to the older and younger
crowds, the sports buffs and those just
watching for the fun of it. Honestly,
I’d prefer to see Chris Brown or Lady
Gaga up on that stage; at least their music
doesn’t sound like a bunch of deranged bees
trapped in a tin can.
I have low expectations for this year’s half
time show, but The Black Eyed Peas may end up
surprising me in the end. I just hope they don’t play
“The Time (Dirty Bit).”
Photo Illustration by Michael Bonn The Clackamas Print
+: For a good time, call 1 -800-get-some-etiquette
n a big-time Las
as club to your local
in, manners should
By Joshua Baird
Arts & Culture Editor
jnow that most of us have either
¡worked in a restaurant or retail
job at some point in our lives,
n I believe that this is a great
arena for learning to be a better, more
modest person. You get to experience
some astounding customers, as well
as some real halfwits and that makes
you understand what other restaurant
employees are going through, day in
and day out. If you have ever had a
rude or inconsiderate customer then
you know exactly what it is like to be
your good friend the bartender: you
have to grin and bear it;
What I want to talk about this week
is how to have an excellent time and
still behave decently to your bartender
or waitress.
The first thing that comes to mind
whenever I think of my time behind
the bar is the guy at the opposite end
of the bar waving his money at me
impatiently while I slave away mak
ing a large drink order for someone
who came to the bar first.
Rule #1: If you want to get your
bartender’s attention without look
ing like a jerk, you should hold your
money in your hand or pocket while
resting your arm on the bar and watch
the bartender. He will likely look your
direction any second. If you make eye
contact with him or her, he will proba
bly give you a gesture to let you know
that he sees you and will be with you
shortly. Most busy bars will have two
or more bartenders running around at
any given time, and if he happens to
be responsible for the waitress station
making drinks for people at tables, he
will let one of his teammates know
that you are there.
Rule #2: Don’t whistle at him; it’s
just rude.
Rule #3: Just because you see a tip
jar full of ones, don’t assume that he
earns too much money. Most times that
jar is split up between the bartenders
on the clock at that time, so he is mak
ing far less than you think. In fact, he
may have to tip out the kitchen work
ers as well. Tip the poor guy, odds are
he is just trying to support his family
or pay his way through school.
Rule #4: If you have a large order
for you and your friends, it’s going to
take a minute to prepare, and he may
be preparing drinks for three or four
other people while you watch him
make your drinks as well. He is not
trying to be rude; he is multitasking.
Rule #5: If you get cut off for being
drunk, don’t be a jerk about it. He is
just doing his job as is dictated to him
by the federal, state or even city gov
ernmental regulations. In these hard
economic times, he simply wants to
keep his job, and keeping you safe is
his job.
Rule #6: No matter how sober you
think you are, do not drive drunk.
If you get pulled over or in an acci
dent the police will notify the Liquor
Control Commission, and they will
fine the bar. Too many fines mean
your favorite pub can get shut down.
If you follow these six rules, you
will not only be healthier, safer and
happier, but the bartender will notice.
We appreciate that kind of thing, and
in some cases, the guy or girl who is
the coolest may end up getting a drink
bought for them by the bartender as a
way to say thank you. In fact, because
no one is perfect, the occasional drink
may be poured wrong for another cus
tomer, and you may reap the benefits
of that mistake.
Disclaimer: We at The Clackamas
Print do not encourage drinking to
excess or underage drinking of any
kind. Remember to drink responsibly.
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