inion
Clackamas Print
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Opinion
Opinion
Clackamas Interrupted.
A columnist butts in
and takes notes
The Jerk:
Shifting through
hate mail
Jaycob Izso
I The Clackamas Print
lect from the things they sell
goes towards grants, like the
textbook grant and the child
Over in the library, Tommy
Egger, major undecided,
was helping business major
69 StOltZ
Adrienne Duwe with math.
care
grant.
”
¡Clackamas Print
Hanging out in the quad Duwe said it was going well,
were Montana Brinkerhoff, and that she was getting pret
I wanted to know what Ryan Hatch and Zach Jenkins, ty much all of the fraction
Lie on campus were talk- students in the Gateway and least-common-multiple
Kbout.
to College program/ with problems done. That, in spite
jince news gathering, as Adrienne Scheehean, a stu of my showing not the least
Iderstand it, is basically dent from Central Catholic common courtesy by disrupt
ing her studies. <
firing about things that High School.
Chatting at a table out
Brinkerhoff said, “We
e ■none of your business,
side the gym, softball play
lit it made the perfect were discussing whether or
iise for the otherwise not people are aware what ers Sarnie Genskay, Renae
and Mallory
■ally unacceptable behav- marijuana is. Like if people Stockwell,
■ had in mind.
know what it is. Like if they Callahan told me they were
Io. on a recent noon hour, were to see a sign that had a discussing the Associated
liked around campus and marijuana leaf on it, if they Student Government Easter
id people - who were
were to know what that, sign egg hunt, candy, and the
Iged in perfectly respect- was, or if they would think next new episode of Grey’s
which
airs
I and private conversa- it was just another plant. Anatomy,
|s - what they were talk- That’s what we were talking Thursday, April 23. (Oh God,
please don’t let Izzie choke
0 ■about when the
about.”
Irnalist” showed
Harmjess to death on that French fry!)
Seeing as they had a dou
intellectu-
“We were
Homentarily
al
specula ble-header against Mt. Hood
Iztd and seeing
discussing
tion? Perhaps that afternoon, Callahan was
■other way out,
- but remem quick to add, “Oh and we
whether
or
■yone answered
ber boys and have a game today.”
not people
Lurking and lunching in
■warmly and at
girls, accord
■th. Whether
ing to the bill the lounge at the back of
are
aware
■was an affirma-
board across Barlow Hall, Automotive
what
■of basic human
the highway Service Technology bad boys
■ness, or a cal-
marijuana
from campus, Taylor Stipe, Tyler Bates and
■ted effort to
talking about Charles Wuerpel were talk
is.
”
■pease the crazy
marijuana is ing about Wuerpel’s chances
■ it did yield
a gateway to of success on his latest class
Montana
■following infor-
talking about project.
Brinkerhoff
|at
A student in General Auto
meth.
Student
■King lunch in
Homework Repair, Wuerpel was trying
■Cougar Café,
was the topic to turn the brake drums from
Ini Starr and
as Roy Urns a fire truck he was work
■ Jones were
and
Victor ing on. The question was
■y trapped in their booth Garrison shared stories in whether the machine was big
■ny arrival. Starr, the the smoking shelter between enough to do the job.
■erative Work Experience the Community Center and
Did the group believe
■tant, and Jones, a stu- McLoughlin Hall. Ums, who Wuerpel would triumph over
pii in the WorkSource plans to be a drug and alco the brakes? “We don’t think
|a|kamas program, were hol counselor, is taking five* so,” said Stipe. “They’re
Blissing whether to buy classes in his first term at pretty massive.”
|r drinks in the cafeteria, Clackamas. He said school
You know what. else is
■ the student government and homework are about all* pretty massive? My relief
tice next door where they he does now. Garrison, who that no one yelled at me
I iheaper.
is pursuing his Associate of or made threats against my
■arr
confessed
she General Studies degree, nod person as I approached and
■ys gets her water and ded in agreement.
encroached.
Br goodies from Associate
Sounding overwhelmed
My sincere thanks to
■ent Government, both to but upbeat, Ums said, “I’m everyone for being so nice.
■ money and because the falling behind in two classes, It was great to meet you and
■Deeds go to a good cause. so I gotta try to make up for feel all that Cougar love.
■ he thing a lot of people it. Oh my goodness gracious.
That’s what I’m talking
■t know?’ Starr said, “is I haven’t been to school in about.
■the money that they col- 30 years?’
?tter to the Editor: Student
'ders snub club event for leaders
iI
the members of the
has Community College
leadership Oregon Club
P) are extremely disap-
ted by the absence of mem-
I of the Associate Student
loment (ASG) during last
■day’s “Women in Public
■hip Forum.” This event
■en planned for several
ps, and the serious nature of
■air as well as the quality of
Bikers, more than warranted
■dance of some members
|G. We, the officers of the
■adership, went out of our
|o|ersonally invite members
rkSG. Therefore, ASG’s
14 from this important stu-
dent-driven event demonstrates a
less than serious interest in events
created by, and for, students here
on campus. Also, ASG’s con
spicuous absence displays funda
mental misunderstanding of the
basic protocols and courtesies
one would expect of those who
present themselves as “student
leaders.”
ASG claims to be representa
tives of the student body, but cur
rent trends indicate that they are
only representative of a few very
select members of their inner cir
cle. From less than democratic
elections, to tuition waivers, to
flying to’ Washington D.C. in the
midst of a budget crisis, ASG
paints a picture that indicates
these leaders need some reminder
that they serve the student body,
and not the other way around.
This insult is not only petty in
its nature, ASG’s absence con
stituted a lack of basic leader
ship skills, such as prioritizing
their schedule so they would have
some presence at this event. This
ASG snub has a particular bite
since we have more than will
ingly assisted them when asked.
Thus it is clear Clackamas’ stu
dent leadership has become so
self-interested that they appar
ently determine it unimportant to
attend a leadership event, merely
because they did not host it.
Lindsey Hurlburt
NLO officer and Clackamas
student
3
So, I received a few
complaints about my last
column. These complaints
were so jarring I thought
about quitting the column
biz all together. Much to
those selected few readers’
chagrin however, I am still
here. As it turns out, fight
ing fire with fire actually
doesn’t make the fire Small
er. Weird huh? Needless
to say, I’ve subsequently
decided to tackle these com
plaints head on because the
truth will set you free or
cause you to lock yourself
in a closet. Both are good in
my book.
Complaint 1: “The col
umn is just a way to say
‘look at me’”
So is your comment
moron. Otherwise why say
it? In fact, why open your
mouth at all, unless you
want someone to pay atten
tion to you? And, look who
answered the call, none other
than The Jerk, your friendly
neighborhood columnist.
See, the big flaw I see is that
if we talk to other people
with this crazy expectation
that they pay attention to
us, then you’re really just
vilifying every aspect of
communication. Keep this
in mind, the next time you
tell Grandma you love her,
what you really mean to
say is “Hey Grandma, look
at me!”
Complaint 2: “The col
umn is like something right
out of high school.”
Now wait just a minute
here. Last time I checked,
we’re in college. Doesn’t
the American education sys
tem typically promote being
OUT of high school before
you go to college? Of course
I’m being facetious; I real
ize what you meant to say
was that my column sounds
like something you would
read IN high school. It’s
okay. Word choice is tough,
certainly, so when the only
other choice you have to
make in life is what TV din-
ner will go best with your
Jerry Springer season four
DVD. Even if that is what
you meant, you’re still an
idiot. You know how I know
that? Because I couldn’t call
you that in a high school
newspaper without the PTA
complaining that I was a bad
influence, unless, of course
you’re trying to form a PTA
here on campus. Are you a
parent? If so, I sure hope
you’re out of high school.
Complaint 3: “Why
should I care what you
write?”
I loved this one because
my response is just as sim
ple, “Why should I care
what you read?”
Complaint 4: “All you’re
doing is saying what every
one else thinks.”
I had a hard time with
this one because I fail to see
the insult. Hypothetically,
if everyone thinks like me,
and I think everyone is an
idiot, then the world thinks
they’re idiots. Bravo. Don’t
buy that one? Try this on
for size: I go by The- Jerk,
which means that if you’re
thinking what I’m thinking,
then you’re just as big of
an asshole as I am. The real
difference is that I’m openly
admitting it, which raises
a question — if you think
this stuff, why haven’t you
said it? If you were smart,
you would say it’s because
you’re tactful, but you’re
not smart, so the next best
answer is that you’re scared.
I’m reminded of a line from
Shakespeare’s “As You Like
It:” “All the world is a stage
and all the men and women
merely players.” So basical
ly, you’re a crappy person
trying to trick others into
thinking you’re nice. Then
I’ll make the argument that
you’re actually worse than
me, and that’s pretty damn
bad.
All in all, thank you for
the comments. You people
demonstrated to me that
when life gives you lemons,
you squeeze them in your
goddamn eyes, which means
I might have to start writing
this in Braille.
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