Clackamas Print
Wednesday, Feb. 6, 2008
Artjyulture
5
folbert becomes author
F
'oinlonated Stephen
ilbert writes a ter
Uy witty book about
iny different themes
ess Sheppard
Tie C/ack«»n/s
Print
‘Let’s face it - people in
er countries lead horrible,
ntless lives filled with
dship and strange brand
ties lor their snack crack-
rhisistatement makes it
tantly apparent - Stephen
bertiis not hesitant about
ressjng his opinions,
lis book “I Am America
id So Can You!)” follows
The introduction even
ludes an entire page of
s and don’ts regarding the
itment of the book itself.
'Neyter press any sort
flowery foliage between
,es,”uie writes. “I’m aller-
Yom senior citizens to the
entific method, nothing
>afe from Colbert’s fierce
I scathing patriotism,
ole chapters are devoted
ssues plaguing the nation
ay, such as immigration,
gion and homosexuality.
Colbert bluntly and per-
ently
advocates
his
iefs.FThe book’s recurring,
rnes «include the faults
Hollywood, his damna-
i of homosexuality and
mourning the loss of the
od odd days.”
lot even footnotes and
gin boxes are exempt from
judgment. His side com-
lts are everywhere, telling
reader exactly what he or
she should be
thinking. Any and all pub
lishers’ disclaimers are sur
reptitiously undermined by
the words in small, red print
next to them.
Balancing out the more
serious topics, Colbert com
ments on what some may
consider seemingly pointless
subjects.
The entire focus of Chapter
3 is animals - how to domi
nate them, why certain spe
cies are endangered and why
we should eat them. Colbert
addresses all of these matters
and more with witty diagrams,
one featuring a smiling cow
proclaiming “the miracle of
meat” and mapping the tasti
est parts of the bovine.
Mini quizzes and fun
“Please DO
NOT defrost
my head until
this ape thing
passes. ”
Stephen Colbert
Author
facts are scattered through
out,. including a two-page
yes-or-no questionnaire that
the reader can take to deter
mine if he or she or someone
else is gay and the simple
challenge of whether he or
she can tell the difference
between Charles Manson and
Evil Spock by seeing only
their beards.
In addition to Spock, sev
eral references are made to
please the reader’s inner
nerd, such as “Sam the snow
man,” used to illustrate the
communist plot.
Colbert
also
draws on the clas
sic “Planet of the
Apes” series to aid
his agenda against
Hollywood and
to advise future
generations:
“Please DO
NOT defrost my
head until this
ape thing pass
es.”
“I
Am
America (And
So Can You!)”
is an inter
esting read,
regardless
of whether
the reader
is a fan of
Stephen
Colbert or
Householder describes the
band’s vibe as “a fine mix
ture of grindcore and hardcore,
with a Southern flavor.”
What does that mean? A lot
of belting vocals.
“Our main influences are
Between the Buried and Me,
Every Time I Die, The Chariot
and Zao,” Householder said in
an e-mail.
for about a year now, and has
kept going strong.
They started by simply doing
jam sessions at the Houstons’
house, with time growing more
serious about their music.
“[It] just kind of exploded
. Emily Walters
from there,” Nic Houston said.
Il Arts & Culture Editor
The band took part in its
first show only two weeks
later.
The Portland Metro area
Currently, She Screams
is well-known for boasting a
Murder does shows primarily
plethora of local bands from
in the Portland area, although
“Our main
all genres.
they do have aspirations of
Only a select few of those
“making it big” someday.
influences are
groups, however, have ties to
“We have had a few (shows)
Between
the
the college.
in Washington,” Nic Houston
She
Screams
Murder
said. “We try to keep it local.”
Buried and
is a band consisting of four
The band will play a couple
Me,
Every
members, two of which cur
of upcoming shows in the area
Time I Die,
rently attend Clackamas: Nic
during the month of February,
Houston, the main vocalist,
the first being Feb. 12 at 7
The Chariot
and Jordan Householder, who
p.m. at Club Satyricon and the
and Zao.”
also does vocals and plays gui
second Feb. 28 at the Roseland
tar.
Theater
at noon. Both locations
Jordan Householder
Householder is studying
are on 6th Avenue in Portland.
Vocalist and Guitarist
music at the college, and this
The group has also just
winter is his second term in the
completed its first demo, and
recording program. He takes
while thus far they have been
“piano and guitar classes to fill
distributing it to friends for
time” as well.
In addition to Householder the most part, they will gladly
Instead of immediately fur and .Houston, the other two make more copies for anyone
thering his education at a large members of She Screams interested, free of charge.
university, Houston chose to Murder are Sam Houston, who
For more information on
come to Clackamas “post-high is Nic’s brother and plays the She Screams Murder, and to
school to get experience” due bass guitar, and Justin McNeil hear their music, visit their
to the relatively small size of on the drums.
MySpace page at myspace.
the campus population.
The group has been together com/ shescreamsmurderp dx.
A local band has
student attachments to
Clackamas
Contributed by She Screams Murder
Drummer Justin McNeil and guitarist Jordan Householder rock out on their instru
ments during one of She Screams Murder’s practices.
Tattoo Clarification
Ingssue 9, released Jan. 23, the
ront page tattoo photo was artist
iene Hannan of Pussycat Tattoo
overing a pre-existing tattoo
one at another shop. The photo
n page 6 was of student Emma
teypders showing off her two
attoos, the top one of which was
one at Two Chicks Tattooing.
OPEN: "Limelight/ a
Gallery on the Ore
ist show, is now
ampus until March 7.
the Alexander
■
Until March 1: Ciacxamas has open enrollment for scholarships for the 200
2008-2009
school year. Applications are available to the general public in Rook Hall or on
line at clackamas.edu. For more information, contact Darcie Iven at ext. 5008.
Tomorrow: The college has Financial Aid/Scholarship Advising Sessions the first
Thursday of every month, in room 117 in Rook Hall from 3 to 5 p.m. Contact Dar
cie Iven at ext. 5008 for further information.