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Clackamas Print
Wednesday, Oct. 17, 2007
__________________________
Artg\gulture
Shopping for your vibrator
doesn’t have to be so hard
Dear Dr. Kim,
My friends made a huge deal
when they found out that I’ve never
been to a pain store before. Now
they insist that I go with them to
pick out my first vibrator, and I’m
freakingout!
I’ve never really even mastur
bated before. I don’t want all my
friends to know what kind of vibra
tor I use! I don’t even know what
kind of vibrator to use!
How do I get through this with
as little embarrassment as possible?
-Whitney, 20
Dearest Whitney,
Disclaimer: Dr. Kim is not areal
doctor, nor has she ever been. She’s
working on it, though.
To read more of “Dr. Kim, “go
to askejean.com andclick on “Tbp
Campus Sex Columnists. “.
To send Dr. Kim a question, e-
mail her at drmaier2006@yahoo.
com.
Clackamas Print
The Clackamas Print
19600 S. Molalla Ave.
OregonCity, OR 97045 .
503-657-6958, ext. 2309
A girl’s first trip to the pom stoe
is a momentous occasion. I’m so
glad I could be here for you, to
hold your hand for the process of
purchasing your first battery-oper-
It’s good that you’ve decided
to check things out on your own a
little bit, before you go running in
there with a large pack of your wild
friends who know you’re a pom-
store-virgin.
For a first-timer, the adult store
can be a very intimidating place.
But don’t worry; Dr. Kim is here!
I care so much about my readers
Editor-in-Chief: Sam Krause
Managing; Editor: Megan Koler
Copy Editor: Colleen Watkins
News Editor: Lydia E. Bashaw
A&C Editor Emily Walters
Sports Editor: Andrea Simpson
Visuals Editors: Kayla Berge,
Elizabeth Hitz
Associate Editors: Matt Olson,
Dustin Ragsdale
that I’m going to embarrass myself
and exploit my own B.O.B in an
effort to make your transition into
a relationship with a fake penis run
more smoothly.
First of all, there’s a lot to look at
in the pom store. It’s kind of like the
zoo - you’11 be smart to schedule
at least an hour out of your day if
you want to be sure to see all of the
exhibits.
Try to not get too distracted
by the novelty ice cubes shaped
out of nipples, “pocket vaginas”
and the entire section devoted to
various colors and sizes of butt
plugs. While interesting and some
times magnetically grotesque, do
you really want anyone to see you
checking out an extra-large, beaded
butt-plug on your very first trip
to the pom store? Save those for
another trip, once you’ve had a bit
more experience, m’kay?
Once you have successfully
located the “boyfriend” aisle, you
might feel a little overwhelmed and
confused about which “man” is
right for you. I mean, there are so
many bells and whistles!
On my first trip to the pom
store, I made the same mistake
many women do when purchasing
their first B.O.B. and was confused
about the difference between a penis
and a plastic wanna-be. I bought
this enormous, pink MONSTER
of a vibrator, complete with veiny
A d M anager : Meredith James
S taff W riters : Dale Belbi,
Mallory Bashaw, Benjamin
Caldwell, Lindsey Decker,
Melanie Fisher, Matthew
Garrison, Michael Komafel, Zak
Laster, Riley Lundgren, Jess
Sheppard, John Shufelt, Kyle
Steele, Liz Travers,
Alexandria Vallelunga,
Mistymarie Wilks-Salguero
sleeve.
I was confused!
I felt like, if I was
searching for an inti
mate “boyfriend,” he
should have every fea
ture there is to offer a
lady such as myself.
So, I took him home
and removed him
from the box. Then, I
“assembled” him, took
one long look at him
- and threw him away.
He was just too big.
Seriously, my real-life
boyfriend would have
been jealous.
And
Whitney,
here’s the thing about
a vibrator It’s not a
penis. And even if it
has some kind of sili
cone sleeve on it, it
still does not have the
“give” to it that a penis does.
So, in “short,” you should con
sider purchasing one that is a bit
smaller than a man’s penis. I would
honestly recommend that you start
out with something under five inch
es, and try to avoid anything with
a pulsating dolphin on the head of
it - just for now. A more utilitarian
device will better enable you to get
to know your body and decide what
you like before you start introduc
ing marine life to your vagina.
P roduction A ssistants :
Chris Young
D epartment A dviser :
Melissa Jones
D epartment S ecretary :
Pat Thompson
If you feel uncomfortable aba
your friends knowing what kin
of vibrator you use, go withoi
them! Your interest in masturbato
is a positive thing, and an importar
part of every woman’s persona
development Having an intimal
relationship with yourself is a kej
catalyst in having an intimate rela
tionship with others.
Goodluck!
G oals : The Clackamas Print aims
to report the news in an honest,
unbiased, professional manner.
The opinions expressed do not
necessarily reflect those of die stu
dent body, college administration,
its faculty or The Print. E-mail
comments to chiefed@dackamas.
edu.
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