Art;
The
ulture
Wednesday, Oct. 10, 2007
Clackamas Print
3
investigate during
for the first date or he asked you
out doesn’t really matter. This isn’t
1940.
Don’t freak yourself out and start
analyzing the fact that you had to
make the first move. It’s perfectly
normal for a member of either gen
der to initialize a get-together. But
this is where your investigative jour
ney begins, so remember to leave
some ofthe options open to give him
a chance to reveal his true nature.
Does he ofier to pick you up? If
not, suggest it A man’s car is a very
personal thing, and you can use the
opportunity to be in it to find out
more about him. If his car is trashed,
it should send up some red flags to
you. When a guy is excited about a
first date, he cleans his car.
Disclaimer: Dr. Kim is not a real
doctor, nor has she ever been. She’s
working on it, though.
Tb read more of "Dr. Kim, ” go
to askejean.com and click on "Top
Campus Sex Columnists. ”
To send Dr. Kim a question, e-
mail her at drmcuer2006@yahoo.
com.
You’ve just met this great new
guy-
He’s smart, funny and attractive
... or at least that’s what you think
But you’ve been fooled before.
Well, don’t start the night off
worrying. Expert sleuth Dr. Kim is
here to guide you through the eve
ning, with a barrage of tools to find
out who this dude really is.
Phase 1: Contact
Whether you’ve made a request
Phase 2: The Event
Now, keep in mind - some guys
are neat freaks. A clean car alone
doesn’t indicate absolute longing.
This will also be a good time to find
out if he smokes without having to
ask him and cause confrontation.
So, his car was tolerably clean,
and you were able to make idle chit
chat on the way to your date.
Once you get there, he will be
feeling the pressure to impress. All
kinds of crazy shit will be flying out
of his mouth at this point about how
wonderful he is, and why you should
be tearing your clothes off and flying
at him by the end of the date.
Turn your ears off Forget about
the content, and remember the con
text - you’re on a date with this
dude, and you can probably assume
that he wants to see you naked.
He’s not going to offer up any
information that might make him
look less titan desirable in your eyes.
He will reveal anything but what is
really important to him. What you
have to do is distract him and make
him forget all about the feet that you
are analyzing his every gesture.
Be low-key. Pay attention to
where he sits in relation to you and
what he pays attention to in the
room.
As the conversation runs on,
watch his body language for little
ticks or uncomfortable movements.
The mouth lies, but the body never
does. If you start talking about
his mother and his leg starts tick
ing to the beat of the Macarena, it
might mean he has some “mommy
issues.”
Ask him general questions that
feel safe to him. Instead of “What
do you plan to do with your future,”
ask him about what’s going on in his
fife right now.
The word “future” should never
be mentioned on a first date. But
you can find out a lot about his work
ethic and ambitious goals just by
looking at what he’s doing with his
life presently.
Forget what he tells you about
his big plans for success. He’s sure
not going to say, “I rarely have the
motivation to shower, much less
find a satisfying job. Hey - do you
wanna move into my mom’s base
ment with me?”
If he works in a gas station, lives
with his mother and doesn’t have
goals right now, then chances are
he won’t have his ducks in order in
another five years.
You also want to make sure that
this new guy has confidence. He’s
going to tty to put his best foot
forward, so you might not notice an
insecure weenie right away.
Here’s the trick* Slightly offend
him. I know it sounds crazy, but if
you poke a little fun at him, and his
nostrils flare with the fury of a thou
sand boogers, it can be an indication
of someone who has some self
image issues -or he might just be a
little bitch who can’t take a joke.
Either way, be in the know.
Phase 3: The Dwelling
I can walk into any mat’s apart
ment while he’s not there and tell
you everything about him - from
political affiliation to how he likes
his eggs.
You can start investigating him
before you even walk through the
door. Does he have a welcome mat?
Lack of a welcome mat indicates
someone who likes their privacy.
Think I’m crazy? Think about
your friends who don’t have a wel
come mat... that’s what I thought.
Once inside his home, try to pay
attention to what he has on his walls.
Not only will it tell you how grown
up he is (are the pictures and posters
in frames?), but it will also allow you
to delve into his psyche to determine
how he feels about himself.
What we choose to put on our
walls says a tan about who we are.
Pictures of himself? (He’s proud of
who he is.) Too many pictures of
himself? (Narcissistic boob.)
Are there more pictures of his
family or his friends? This will tell
you where his energy is focused.
Look around his living room. If
there is a sparse amount of furniture,
it means one of two things:
1) He’s broke.
2) His attitude toward posses
sions is mote utilitarian - and prob
ably so is his attitude toward rela
tionships.
The way a man behaves in his
own home can greatly differ from
how he acts out in public. When
you arrive, does he gesture for a
particular place for you to sit down?
(Control freak) Does he offer you
anything to drink?
If he doesn’t make an effort to
make sure you’re comfortable the
first time you enter his house, how
considerate do you think he will be
tire thousandth time?
The most important investigative
tool I can give you is this one: Be
accepting. If you hear something
you diin’t like and he sees you react
to it, he’s going to shut down and
hide as much about himself as he
can.
If he tells you something awful
about himself that you can’t live
with (Le.; he works atagay strip club
or enjoys collecting human teeth),
don’t react Just remember that you
don’t have to date him again.
If you shut down his awful rev
elations before you know exactly
how damaged he is, you will later
convince yourself that he’s not that
weird, and another date will ensue.
It could be months or years until you
find out what a freak he really is, and
then you’ll end up sleeping on an air
mattress in his mother’s basement
Just keep nodding and smiling,
and allow him to feel completely
comfortable telling you all of his
disgusting habits and regretful sto
ries. At least it will entertain you for
tie rest of tiie evening, before you
high-tail it for home to change your
cell phone number.
Well, ladies, good hick!
Happy hunting!
Television: what to watch on the idiot box this fall season
Emily Walters
I Arts & Culture Editor
| Now that the fell season has arrived
'yet again, the ever-feithful tube has
risen up to provide fascinating new
I shows and bring back favorites.
r But the question remains: Which
programs are actually entertaining to
watch after a long day of school or
work? Collapsing on the couch to
mindlessly view whatever happens
to catch the eye is usually not the best
system when attempting to find a
pleasing show.
For a heaping dose of drama,
watch the CW’s new show Gossip
Girl at 9 pm every Wednesday, or
.the re-airing on Sundays at 6 pm,
to see high school love triangles and
backstabbing galore. Based on a book
series ofthe same name by Cecily von
Ziegesar, the show is set in the urban
backdrop of Manhattan, perfect for its
filthy rich, designer-clad characters.
The prep-school elite obtain all the
local scandalous news via an online
blog from the anonymous, self-pro
claimed Gossip Curl.
Moonlight is an alluring broadcast
from CBS which brings a fresh take to
another private investigator show. The
main character, Mick St John, has a
few things helping him along with
solving tiie mysteries he undertakes
... he is a vampire. However, he is
one who does not follow the usual
clichés that most ofus would link with
tiie undead. There is no chasing after
and biting victims; he buys only the
necessary amount from a friend at a
blood batik
The acclaimed show Heroes has
returned to NBC for its second season,
airing Monday nights at 9 pm. and
again on Saturday at 8 p.m. Claimed
by many to be the best show on televi
sion, the new season is already shap
The glamourous cast of new CW show Gossip Girl, which is
het in a Manhattan backdrop.
ing up to be a fascinating one. The
evolutionary-advanced characters are
all following their own paths, yet they
are more entwined in an intricate pat
tern than ever.
The Sci-Fi Channel’s spin-off of
Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, has
started its fourth season. Stargate
Atlantis is about an expedition into
the Pegasus galaxy to the mythologi
cal city of Atlantis, built thousands of
years ago by a technologically pro
gressive people called the Ancients.
The adventurers also explore many
cultures through the Stargate - a portal
to other worlds - where they often
must battle alien life forms.
Tune in to these shows; they are
well worth the watch. Television this
fell has really stepped up to the plate
to bring many great new programs.
The city of Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy, with the explorers
who came from Earth in the show Stargate Atlantis.
The “superheroes” have returned to television for a second season on NBC. Heroes airs
Monday nights at 9 p.m. and on Saturday nights at 8 p.m.