Commentary
Clackamas Print
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
3
Parking lots suffer abuse
Katie Wilson
(jt-Editor-in-Chief
And then the front half of my car
|off.
\o one would believe me when
said it wasn’t my fault. They just
look their heads, frowned and won
ted if the price they were going to
pte me would pay for their daugh-
is’ weddings. It probably would.
I threw the front of my car on to
»backseat and dragged the whole
ess home, down Highway 213,I-
6 and 1-5. It was a long day.
With every step I took, I cursed
i Clackamas parking lots. It was
owing. My feet were bleeding. It
is very poetic. Actually, it wasn’t
owing.
As I struggled past the scenic
twpoint of the Oregon City paper
il belching smoke into the air, I
me upon a wizened, old man - at
st I think it was a man.
He said to me: “What happened
your car?”
“Why do you care?” I demanded.
Jack off. I have mace.” And then,
thing I feel I need in my life right
now.
But I can’t seem to avoid it
The Barlow and Rook parking lots
suffer from heavy and frequent use.
Yes, the pot holes were recently filled
in Rook, but the tree roots remain, and
the road is so unevenly paved I feel
like I’m driving up the sides of walls.
This hurts my soul ever so slightly.
I’ll survive, but I worry sometimes
feeling I had been rude, I said: “I was
trying to park at the college, and then
my car tripped over the gjaiy tree
roots in the Barlow lot, and a few days
before, I almost fell into a Rook Hall
pot hole. Fortunately, they’ve filled
that canyon up.”
Now, ultimately, I don’t care about
the tom-up parking lots. They keep
my life interesting - will the tree roots
tear off the bottom of my car, or will I
be spared today? They give me some
thing to complain about. They com
plete me. They are the wind beneath
my wings. Yes, like the song.
But they are annoying: like spi
ders, or being late, or falling down the
stairs in McLoughlin.
My car was not designed to be
driven off-road, and if I wanted to
get nostalgic and recreate the feel of
driving down gravel country roads,
I would find a gravel country road
to drive down. There would be apple
trees and everything. There would
even be a homely lad named Lemuel
or Bubba, leaning against a fence and
chewing on a piece of hay.
I am not looking for this experi
ence at Clackamas. It’s just not some
about my car and its children and
grandchildren, etc.
What’s the solution? Spring Break,
good weather and plenty of workers..
“We try to get to the [potholes]
as we can,” said Charlie Arata, oper
ations manager in charge of engi
neering and maintenance here at the
college. “There’s nothing scheduled.
Over Spring Break, we’ll try and get
to the Barlow pot holes.”
Illustration by Katie Wilson Clackamas Print
■low to survive an assassination attempt
Andrea Simpson
ife Clackamas Print
Assassination is a practice dat-
gback to the eighth century.
Throughout history, many
iportant people have found
etnselves the target of an assas-
nation attempt. Here are my
js for you to not become one
[them.
You might want to stay away
m people whose favorite book
Catcher in the Rye by J.D.
linger.
When Mark David Chapman
lot John Lennon, he was found
¡th a copy of the book. Chapman
timed that it would explain his
rspective and motivation. John
inckley, Jr., who attempted to
sassinate Former President
maid Reagan in 1981, was also
ported to have been obsessed
¡th the book.
The main character of Catcher
the Rye, Holden Caulfield, is
introverted and confused ado-
icent who expresses hostility
¡rard phoniness and the loss
of innocence often caused by
American culture.
The moral of the story is that
if you are a phony, watch out for
withdrawn creepers.
The second way to avoid an
assassination is to not become
famous. It’s easy. Millions of
people don’t become famous
every day.
Presidents have the highest
percentage of assassinations of
any profession. Out of the 16
assassination attempts on former
presidents, 12 have survived.
By far the most impressive
was Theodore Roosevelt. He was
shot while giving a speech after
his presidency. A one-hundred-
page speech folded over twice
and the metal glasses case in
Roosevelt’s breast pocket slowed
the bullet.
Roosevelt insisted on giving
his speech with the bullet still
lodged inside him - and he never
had the bullet removed. That’s
hardcore.
The last and maybe most
important way to survive an
assassination is to keep a fall guy
near you at all times. If there is a
good chance you may be assas
sinated, surround yourself with
easily dispensable people.
Look at the famous assassina
tions. JFK didn’t move behind
Jackie fast enough. Lincoln had
Mary Todd. Lennon had Yoko.
And to those who would argue
that a life partner isn’t “easily dis
pensable,” look at the ladies. JFK
was already seeing other women,
so he didn’t need Jackie, Mary
Todd was mentally insane, and
Yoko was ... well, Yoko, so that
would have been doing everyone
a favor by sparing us from ever
having to hear her voice again.
Assassinations don’t happen
every day, but when they do, you
don’t want to be on the receiv
ing end. If you take these tips
into consideration, you hopefully
never will.
Illustration by Andrea Simpson Clackamas Print
Letter to the editor: People have opinions
Dear Editor,
The article on John Edward confirms that some people are
closed-minded. I would have enjoyed being presented with facts on
both positions to make up my own mind, rather than the libelous
slant of the journalist.
There are always two sides to every issue, and if the journalist
was concerned with presenting both sides, we would be in a posi
tion to judge what we believed on a fair representation of the facts.
1 believe there are many, like me, who believe that the finite world
is only one reality, and that things beyond our understanding are in
the infinite reality that some of us believe and live in.
The article didn’t change my opinion of John Edward. It moti
vated me to write letters (which I rarely do) to the editor in charge,
urging those who have first-hand knowledge of the experience with
John Edward to speak out, rather than depend on the opinions of
the journalist, which may only be shared by uninformed or inexpe
rienced people.
Vicki High, Student
To send a letter to the editor, e-mail it to chiefed@clackamas.
edu, or drop it off at The Print office, Roger Rook 135. Please
include your name.
C o -E ditors - in -C hief : Sam Krause,
Clackamas Print
Katie Wilson
19600 S. Molalla Ave.
Oregon City, OR 97045
(503) 657-6958 ex. 2309
C opy E ditor : Colleen Watkins
N ews E ditor : Megan Koler
C o -C ommentary E ditors : Matt Olson,
The Clackamas Print is a weekly
student publication and is
distributed every Wednesday except
finals week.
David Stark
F eature E ditor : Laura Cameron
S ports E ditor : Mike Guidice
A&E E ditor : Tayo Stalnaker
P hoto E ditor : Adam J. Manley
A d M anager : Elizabeth Hitz
S taff W riters : Nicholas Baker,
Gillette, Andrea Simpson,
Alexandria Vallelunga, Jamie Wu
P hotographers : Juno Dean,
Brandy-Marie Faulhaber
Kayla Berge, Benjamin Caldwell,
Leia Dickerson, Jennifer Jenkins,
Frank Jordan, Kimberly Maier,
Jennesa Palmer, Dustin Ragsdale, D epartment A dviser : Linda Vogt
Andrea Simpson, Ott Tammik, Liz
Travers
D epartment S ecretary : Christine
P roduction A ssistants : Jesse
Frey
Dees, Joseph Elliot, Rachel
Dr. Kim,
Is it morally right for the
justice system to decide when
it’s legal to kill, and who
should be able to claim insan
ity? It’s okay to kill in a time
of war, and it’s considered
heroic, but it’s not okay to kill
in self-defense?
Dr. Kim, if it is okay to
kill sometimes but not oth
ers, how are we supposed
to know what’s right with a
judicial system like this?
Thanks.
Criminal Justice Student
Dear Criminal Justice
Student:
In my professional opin
ion, it is not okay to kill.
If you have to stop and ask
yourself if killing is the moral
thing to do-it’s not.
There have been laws in
place to punish homicide dat
ing back before Jesus roamed
the Earth. In all cultures,
across all eras, people have
had a strong negative reaction
to murder and death.
Some people believe it
is an evolutionary tactic to
ensure the survival of our spe
cies. Some people believe that
God gives us the innate ability
to know right from wrong.
In either case, adverse
reactions to pain and injury
seem to be universal. When
we see blood, we panic, and
when we watch someone
sustain a powerful blow, we
wince.
Our criminal justice system
may be flawed, but it aims at
achieving a fair verdict with
all factors considered. What
happens to murderers is best
left to the discretion of the
court because moral philoso
phy varies from individual to
individual.
Whether it is right or
wrong to take someone’s life
in a particular situation cannot
be left up to the individual.
Some people just don’t know
better. Even if the killer has
all the right intentions, we
can’t feel safe and function as
a society if there is no set sys
tem to sanction heinous acts.
If you stick with the
Criminal Justice program as
your major, mayoe you can
contribute to finding new
ways to improve our legal
system. I know the world can
be frustrating. Try to create a
positive change. And please
don’t kill anyone. (Although I
do have this list...)
G oals : The Clackamas Print aims
to report the news in an honest,
unbiased, professional manner.
The opinions expressed do not
necessarily reflect those of the stu
dent body, college administration,
its faculty or The Print. E-mail
comments to chiefed@dackamas.
edu.