6 Art^^ntertainment
Clackamas Print
Wednesday, Jan. 24, 2007
‘Release’ is no ‘Catch!
Tayo Stalnaker
A&E Editor
I’m phoning in this
week’s D-Pad because I got
kind of busy. Before anyone
puts on their “hate mail’’
hat, this is out of a blog
post over Winter Break, and
it’s still pretty relevant. We ’ll
have some fresh content next
week.
I think 1 figured out why
everybody on the news is
accusing Nintendo of design
ing a faulty strap for the Wii
controller Golf.
For those who haven’t
heard about this, last
month got
rough
for
Nintendo after almost every
national news outlet started
crying “recall” while reports
started coming in about peo
ple losing control of their
controllers (heh) and send
ing them through windows
and TV sets.
1 suppose anybody who
realized the very full (and
very American) potential
ito mess up something this
simple knew that when
Nintendo put out a control
ler designed to be swung
around the room, this sort
of thing would happen ...
then I got a chance to play
withone.
Internet Photo
I ,
The Wii console comes
with a game called “Wii
Sports,” which is a collec
tion of very simple, sports-
related games designed to
show off the Wii’s innova
tive (and addicting) new
control scheme. In baseball,
the controller is swung like a
bat. In Tennis, the controller
detects forehand, backhand,
and even slice. There’s also
Bowling, Boxing and the
new bane of my existence:
Wii Golf.
The idea is as simple
as the game of golf would
suggest: swing arm. hit ball
in hole, repeat. The problem
is that the controller uses a
combination ofBlue-Tooth®
technology and infrared
triangulation to detect the
controller’s exact position in
the room and, more impor
tantly, on the TV. When the
controller is pointed at the
ground like a golf club, how
ever, that infrared half of the
equation disappears, leaving
the controller’s sensitiv
ity with something to be
desired. The result is a wild
and accurately frustrating re
production of what it looks
like when I play “real” golf.
I suppose, for some to
consider this a “real” review,
I’d have to say something
like “Wii Sports is ‘free’ and
worth every penny,” but my
actual point isn’t whether or
not it’s worth playing ... of
course it is! The awesome
ness of the Wii hardware
alone makes it a worthwhile
experience even if the game
does suck.
The only thing I might
add (and getting back to my
original point) is that people
should really stop trying to
blame Nintendo tor a faulty
controller strap, because
thedpadtotgmaiLcom
now that I've seen the frus
tration of Wii Golfi I know
how those expensive TV’s
are really being broken.
With a great cast and an
Academy Award winning
screenwriter, Catch & Release
should’ve been the romantic
comedy-drama of the year.
Unfortunately, it failed at
almost everything.
The film opened with Gray
Wheeler (Jennifer Garner)
in tears over her fiancd’s
unfortunate death during his
bachelor party. No, he didn’t
suffocate from a stripper’s
heaving breasts smothering
his face or too much blow
(which would’ve been awe
some). Instead, he pulled a
Sony Bono while skiing in
Colorado.
Wheeler moves in with her
ex-fiancd’s three best friends,
and all the tired cliche’s pres
ent in almost every romantic
comedy that Hollywood pulls
out of its superficial anus are
thrust upon the audience and
don’t end until after the cred
its stop rolling (yes, even the
credits are unoriginal).
First, there’s Dennis (Sam
Jaeger). He’s the sensitive guy
who’s been in love with his
best friend’s girl since day
one. Then there’s the “bad
influence” childhood friend,
Fritz (Timothy Olyphant),
who’s despised by the girl
friend. And, of course, there’s
the lovable, witty, fat geek
named Sam (Kevin Smith),
who everyone is friends with
so that they don’t seemjto
shallow. Guess which log
Wheeler ends up spooning
Hint: Not the fat guy.
I
Speaking of heroin, Juliet!
Lewis (Natural Born Killen
From Dust Til Dawn) stars!
the slutty, oblivious-to-evet
thing “other woman.’’ wj
Wheeler knows nothing abo
until she hears incriminatii
voice-messages on herle
fiance’s cell phone. She lat
finds out that (gasp!) hea
had a kid with this woman.]
I honestly can’t believe th
all of this overdone filth cai
from screenwriter Susanj
Grant, who was nominate!!
an Academy Award with 1
script for Erin BrockovicM
be fair, this was Grant’s diri
torial debut, so I’ll cut hei
little slack.
All that aside, there wt
two saving graces to this fill
One was Kevin Smith (y
the Kevin Smith). Smith stl
this movie. He was the oi
character that I actually cai
about and wanted to hear 1
His irreverent dialogue ■
hilarious and was the oH
thing that kept me in my M
instead of beating my H j
on a trashcan outside Piofl
Place.
I
Oh, the other great
about the movie? It
free, advanced scred
which meant I didn’t ha
sit through “The Twend
really don’t give a crap w
on TNT, and neither si
anyone else.
——-
Concert Calendar
River Road House
Milwaukie
2/2
Berbati’s Pan
1/24 Brian O’Dell Band
Sarah Angela & A
Bad Influence
9:30 p.m. all ages
The Buzzmasters
(fromCCC!)
8 p.m. 21+
Roseland Theater
1/25 Sop he Lux
The Sort-Ofs
Silverhawk
9:30p.m all ages
1/24 Papa Roach
It Dies Today
Auralust
8 p.m. all ages
1/26 Sauce Policy
Cellar Door
Another Cynthia
9:30p.m. all ages
1/26 Keller Williams
9 p.m. all ages
1/28 Coco Montoya
Ward Stroud Band
6:30 p.m. 21+
1/27 Childlike Empress
Brokaw
Dirty O
9:30 p.m. all ages
1/28 The Game
8:30 p.m. all ages
Dante’s
1/29 Keane
Rocco Deluca
8 p.m. all ages
1/24 Broken Teeth
Prima Donna
Titans of Oblivion
9. p.m. 21+
Unplanned Pregnane
You Deserve to KNO)
1/25 Viva Voce
The Village Green
Caves
9p.m. 21+
...Are you really pregnant?
...Have you explored all your option
..Are all your questions answered?
Crystal Ballroom
1/25 G-Love and Special
Sauce
Matt Costa
8p.m. all ages
1/26 Earl Greyhound
Blue Skies for Black
Hearts
Go Fever
9 p.m. 21+
1/25 Mad Professor with
PanAfricanist
Dr. Israel,
Xact Change Hi Fi
8 p.m. 21+
»
Rose Garden
The Avert Brothers
7 p.m. all ages
1/25 George Straight
Ronnie Mil sap
7:30 p.m.
1/28 Menomena
10:45 p.m. all ages
Nurse Consultations. Pregnancy!
Ultrasound to Verify if Intrauterine Pregnancy is Via
„______
Respectful. Confide«
PRC)
MILMMtlklE
14419 SE McLoughlin Blvd
Milwaukie 97222
Information compiled by
Tayo Stalnaker
W Will Hoge
7 p.m. 21+
All Services Fre
Convenient Hours
No Appointment!
Necessary
503.659.3336
Pregnancy Resource Centers
I»’
www.prcofportlam
Beaverton • Gresham • Tigard • Lloyd Center • Milwaukie • SE /’»I
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