Clackamas Print
Commentary 3
Wednesday, June 7 2006
ace off: banning pets on campus
ets are health and safety
azar ds, should be banned
lizabeth Hitz
y Clackamas Print
ÿhen was the last time you stepped in
poop on the Clackamas campus? You
ably cussed out the irresponsible owner
ï your breath while searching for a stick
¿yourself of the unwanted treasure.
Here is a simple solution to a large prob-
:No pets on the college campus, or at
very least no unattended pets. Manycol-
s already have such a policy in place.
For instance, Hamilton College in New
thas a policy which reads, “No dogs are
Ked to roam unleashed on the campus,
dogs are allowed in any college-owned
ding on the campus, whether on a leash
mt No dogs may be leashed (tied) to
s, posts, etc. and left unattended on the
pus. Owners [must] be in possession of
animal at all times.” People who disre-
|the policy may be fined by the college,
¡ome Oregon colleges with similar poli-
are Eastern Oregon University, Lane
jmunity College and Lewis & Clark
ege.
Vid the reason so many campuses have
idy instituted anti-dog, or anti-pet poli-
? Convenience and the sake of their
ents.
et excrement is disgusting; no one wants
t it, no one wants to smell it and no one
linly wants to touch it.
¡o why should everyone on the campus
I because some pet owners are irre-
isible enough to let their pets roam free,
» lazy to bring a pooper scooper along
on the walk?
Then there’s the barkers. The dogs who
bark at every squirrel, moving tree branch
and empty soda cup that rolls their way.
Sony folks, no one likes the dog that cries
wolf. It is distracting, annoying and if people
wanted to hear dogs howling, they would
buy a sound machine.
And last but not least, there are the
friendly bounders. Everyone loves it when
a strange large dog comes bounding up and
gives a friendly bear-hug, muddy paws and
all.
Not only does this ruin clothing, it is
extremely rude, and possibly frightening.
Some people are scared of dogs; why should
they have to undergo trauma because of
some pet owners who are too lazy to leash
their pets or take them to a dog park?
The problem has a solution.
We need action. We need a
united campus will
ing to crack
down on pet
owners and
say, “Leash
your pets.
Be respon
sible,
or
don’t bring
them on cam
pus.” Because
in this case,
one
man’s
unscooped
pet poop is not
another man’s
treasure.
III
Forget banning pets; consider
this alternative • • •
Mattle Vogt
The Clackamas Print
Note to the reader: The following is an
account of a recent conversation on campus.
Due to the sensitive nature of the topic, names
have been changed to protect the identity of the
participants.
We all knew it was inevitable. I called
together a group of my friends.
‘We have to make a stand,” I said. “Those
of us who’ve been around the college for
awhile have seen what can happen, and it’s got
ten out of hand.”
“But is it fair to penalize them all just
because a few of them are unruly?” Reggie
asked.
“Good point,” said Sam. “Why
don’t we just ban the bad ones?”
This group is intellectual and
intuitive. They’re not easily con
vinced.
“Someone has to say it out
loud,” I said.
Silence throughout the group.
‘ We need a Human Policy.”
Audible gasp.
“Do you really think we need to
be that extreme?” asked Toby.
‘T know it seems cruel,” I said,
“but we have to keep them out of
the buildings.”
Another collective gasp.
“Just look at the feds,” I
continued. “Other colleges have
done this with positive resulls.”
fter three years, goodbye Clackamas
tn Maras
ir-in-Chief
is 1 sit here a mere week before
graduation with my three year
at Clackamas and on the news-
r staff coming to an end, I am
inded of a dream that was once
ritome:
lie dreamer was a rock lying at
bottom of the Marianas Trench
those who were asleep during
science sequence, the deepest
of the Pacific Ocean). It was dark
cold, as the bottom of an ocean
Is to be. and things stayed like that
i long, long time. Day after day
¡couple million years he sat in the
and sanci. with nowhere to go.
tnally. one day he experienced
j sensation - he could see light
e him. After a couple thousand
¡years he could see the feint
oe of the sun hovering above the
k of the water. He then real-
l±at he was being slowly pushed
I and closer to the surface.
bousands of more years went
uoxing an unnoticeable amount
ids the surface. He sat waiting
nd hanging on to the moment in
:h he would be free, because face
¡didn’t have much else to do.
lien one day, a couple hundred
lies after he first noticed the
• i’ could feel the waves breaking
r him and he felt the warmth of the
Then finally, after what seemed
Clackamas Print
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finals week.
like (and probably was) eons, he lay
on the beach basking in the warm sun
and the soft sand, thankful to be free
from the icy darkness he had known
his whole life.
But just then some little snot-nosed
kid came running by and picked him
up and skipped him back out into the
ocean.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what
I feel like right now.
Even as one who loves the aca
demic environment, I can definitely
relate to the rock in this parable. After
surviving high school, and complet
ing an AAOT at Clackamas, I am
being pitched out into the big ocean of
a university, to immerse myself in the
true “college experience,” the famed
time of personal enlightenment in
which we truly expand our minds and
embrace everything we are capable
of But I recently realized that I have
been fooling myself.
The “college experience” is not a
goal but a journey, and that journey
is now. There is no sitting around
waiting for wisdom to come to you
- academia is not a spectator sport
The difference between Clackamas
and a large universify is not the qual
ify of the education, but how easily a
quality education is accessible. Rather
than paying several thousand dollars
to be assigned the great works of aca
demia, a couple dollars in interlibrary
loans would suffice in bringing the
wisdom right to you
Similarly to exercising the body,
exercising the mind only requires a
will. Sure a several-hundred-dollar
Chuck Norris™ Uber-Flex-Body-
Sculpting-System makes getting into
shape easier, but for a little bit more
effort all one needs is a road and a
pair of decent shoes to achieve the
same results.
We are even given the privilege
here of having our own personal train
ers, willing to provide us with any
information they possess - if we only
take advantage of them. The biggest
mistake anyone can make here is
selling the instructors - or themselves
-short.
I especially owe both Linda Vogt
(adviser for
Print) and Dean
Darris (political science instructor) a
huge debt of gratitude. Along with
other Clackamas instructors they have
taught me a great deal about myself,
and made me realize that I ultimately
want to teach and pass on to others
what they have nurtured in me. This
campus is filled with brilliant, first-
rate people - don’t let the opportunity
to leech from them pass you by.
So my brethren, as I say my good
byes to the place that has been my
home for three years and the people
who have surrounded me, I hope that
everyone can seize the day, dare to get
excited about something, make their
own college experience.
In closing, I can think of nothing
better than to quote journalism great
Edward R Murrow: Good night, and
good luck.
E ditor - in -C hief : Ben Maras
C opy E ditors : Katie Weinberg, E. E.
A d A ssistant : Helen Conley
S taff W riters : Derek Erickson,
West
Justin Goe, Elizabeth Hitz, Frank
Jordan, Mike Kimberling, Megan
Koler, Adam J. Manley, Matthew
Olson, Kyle Steele, David Stark,
N. P. Delzell, Helen Conley
N ews E ditor : Katie Wilson
C ommentary E ditor : Laura Cameron
F eature E ditor : C. J. Ciaramella
S ports E ditor : Mike Guidice
A&E E ditor : Tayo Stalnaker
P hoto E ditor : Jeff Sorensen
A d M anager : Sam Krause
P roduction A ssistants : Adam
J. Manley, Kim Maier, Elizabeth
I
‘Like what?” asked Max.
‘Well, since they instituted a Human Policy
at one college back East, no one throws papers
or other garbage on the floor anymore or spills
coffee on the new carpets.”
“That’s not that big a deal,” said Chloe.
“Sure, I suppose,” I said. “But there’s
more.”
All waited, anticipating.
“Truth is, we need to keep them out of the
buildings because so many of the grown-up
ones just aren’t as kind as we are. In feet.. .
sometimes they’re mean. They call each other
names. They make fun of some of their own
kind.”
Everyone looked disappointed.
“Poor humans,” said Buffy.
“And some of them say things that aren’t
trae,” Toby added. “They say bad words out
loui They do things to make each other cry!’?
“Aack!” said Buddy. “That’s just wrong.”
‘No kidding,” said Rudy. “We’ve tried to
model unconditional love, positive spirit and
unending devotion, but they aren’t quite as
evolved as we are.”
Many nodded agreement.
“That’s why,” I continued, “we have to take
this drastic measure.”
“And what will they do, then?” asked Chip,
meekly.
“Wander around outside in the rain, I
guess,” I replied. “Seems cruel, but it’s the only
answer.”
Everyone was quiet. We all felt so sorry for
them. But I knew I had to puM>nrLMF
“All in favor of the motion adopting the
Human Policy raise a paw,” I said.. I
Motion passed.
Graduation ain’t mutilation
I. E. West
The Clackamas Print
Editor’s note: The follow
ing story contains graphic
accounts of traditional rituals.
Reader discretion is advised.
Graduations are rarely fun
affairs.
Crowds of people,
boring speeches and a laundry
list of graduates are just a few
of the mind-numbing elements
that make graduations as fun
as watching turtles mate.
So I understand when grad
uating students, most of them
young adults, say they’d rather
drink a bucket of broken glass
than sit through a graduation
ceremony. But consider this:
at least our rites of passage
are only traumatic in that sit-
ting-through-your-aunt-and-
uncle ’s-slideshow-of-their-
trip-to-Branson-Missouri sort
of way. Some cultures don’t
let their young adults’ off so
easy.
Many traditional societ
ies around the world perform
body modification rituals
as their young “graduate.”
Scarification, tattooing and
circumcision (both male and
female) are fairly common.
Certain aboriginal tribes in
Hitz, Chris Anderson, David
Stark
P hotographers : Adam J. Manley,
Lara Hedbor, Elizabeth Hitz,
Matt Olson, N. P. Delzell
D epartment A dvisor : Linda Vogt
D epartment A ssistant . Chris Hermel
Australia perform a rite known
as a subincision, in which ado
lescent boys are given a deep
slit along the underside of
their penises while bull-roar
ers hum and the tribe’s women
wail in the distance.
And that’s one of the less
disturbing rituals.
The ancient Greeks encour
aged pederasty between young
boys and prominent men as
part of the boys’ coming-up.
The notorious Etoro tribe of
Papua New Guinea believe that
young men can only become
sexually mature by perform
ing fellatio on the grown men.
Other rites of passage can
involve everything from sus
pending the bodies of adoles
cents by hooks to ritual can
nibalism.
Growing up is never easy.
It can often be a traumatic
experience maturing from one
role, one “life,” to another.
Perhaps the reason coming-of-
age ceremonies and other rites
of passage are often painful is
to reflect this universal experi
ence of pain symbolically.
So the next time that par
ents or friends pressure you to
don the cap and gown, keep
heart; at least your genitals are
still intact.
G oals : The C lackamas Print aims
to report the news in an honest,
unbiased, professional manner.
The opinions expressed do not
necessarily reflect those of the stu
dent body college administration,
its faculty or The Print. E-mail
comments to chiefed@clackamas.
edu.