4
’ Clackamas Print
Featd
Wednesday. Oct. 19, 2005
Choosing the right loo for yoi
Investigative reporter
E.E. West surveys the
men’s rooms to give
you the scoop on poop
I E.E. West
| The Clackamas Print
It will happen sometime
this quarter: you are walk
ing to your next class, or
even worse, halfway through
a long lecture. Suddenly you
feel that familiar rumble deep
down inside. Nature is call
ing your name.
Most of us merely dash
for the nearest restroom and
hope for the best, but for the
really finicky commode con
noisseurs among us, not just
any toilet will do. It takes the
right facilities and the right
atmosphere to turn an other
wise nasty bit of necessary
“business” into a comfort
able and productive gastro
intestinal event.
For those
select few, here are some tips
for finding the loo of your
dreams.
A good rule of thumb is,
the newer the building, the
better the facilities. The three
newest buildings on campus
are DeJardin, Niemeyer and
Roger Rook. The restrooms
in these buildings were built
with infrared sensors on
the toilets to prevent lazy
or malicious students from
leaving behind the gruesome
evidence of their visits.’ This
is both a good thing and a bad
thing. Infrared sensors often
make for cleaner toilets, but
they can also malfunction and
flush prematurely, leaving
you with that “not-so-ffesh”
feeling. This is especially a
problem in Rook where the
toilets are too busy contem
plating Tolstoy to do their job
properly.
True to the spirit of the
theater/music building, the
restrooms in Niemeyer offer
the best acoustics. Again, this
is both a blessing and a curse.
It’s great when you’re prac
ticing for your choir solo or
belting out that Twisted Sister
song that’s been stuck in your
head all day, but it also means
that any unintended perfor
mances will be broadcast
in high fidelity to everyone
else in the room.
Luckily,
thanks to Niemeyer’s state-
of-the-art recording facilities
you can not only measure the
decibel level of your gaseous
emissions, you can determine
whether your range is bass,
baritone or tenor.
Some other features of
campus restrooms include: a
small convention hall-sized
handicap stall in the Streeter
annex (with just enough
space for a table of Farscape
memorabilia and a “Who’s
the better captain, K-irk or
Picard?” forum); a heroin
chic décor in the back stall
of the Bill Brod Community
Center’s washroom; and a
handwritten library of “good
time” phone numbers and
dirty limericks on the stalls
in the Dye Learning Center.
Some things to be careful
of: set yourself down gen
tly when using the handi
cap stall in McLoughlin
Hall’s second floor.
If
you’re in too much of a
hurry you may misjudge
its height with teeth-jarring
consequences.
Finally,
Barlow Hall’s first-floor
facilities have been rated
a Federal Disaster Area.
FEMA has been slow to
respond thus far.
Photo illustration by Jeff Sorensen
Clackamas Print
Local public access station offers free classes, equipme
CJ Ciaramella
Feature Editor
Students may not know it, but
there is a local TV studio that is not
only willing to put them on the air, but
will give them the training, tools and
resources to do so.
Willamette Falls Television, a pub
lic broadcaster located in downtown
Oregon City, has been giving local
residents die opportunity to pro
duce, film and edit their own televi
sion shows for 20 years and running.
Not only that, but there is no cost for
taking classes, checking out equip
ment or reserving studio time.
“Everything here is free,”
said Studio Manager Melody
Ashford. “Your only cost is
your tape stock”
In addition, the station airs all
the shows that people produce. In
fact, they are clamoring for people’s
shows. Ashford asserted that the sta
broadcasting, and there is no need for
prior experience.
“All of our classes are very intui
tive and easy,” said Ashford. “A lot of
the people coming in have only used
still cameras.”
Classes do not, however, have a
set schedule, but are set according to
demand. Ashford explained: “When
we set up our classes, they’re rotat
ed. It’s first come, first serve.”
There is not a minimum num
ber of students needed, either,
in fact, a low number is pre
ferred.
“We will do a class for
one person,” said Ashford,
explaining that a one-on-
one experience is best.
‘We like to keep it
under three people per
class.”
People who enroll
in a class or reserve a
four hour time slot are
Contributed Graphic
given time to work in
tion wants “fresh stuff on TV. I have
tapes bicycled in, but I’d rather have
locally produced stuff.”
The first step in getting on the air,
according to Ashford, is to ‘foall first
and reserve a class or a tour.” The
studio offers classes on nearly every
aspect
of
**«
one of the studio’s seven editing
suites, almost all of which contain
digital desktop editing software.
Most contain Adobe Premier
Pro, but there is also a Mac suite
with Final Cut Pro. The suites
are named after major networks
such as NBC, MTV, and TLC.
As Ashford explained, “We could
have named them ‘One,’ ‘Two,’
‘Three,’ but it’s more fun this
way.”
Fun seems to be the overrid
ing goal around Willamette Falls
Television. As Ashford explained,
you don’t have to be a broadcast
journalism maj or to be interested in
making TV.
“With this type of thi
doesn’t matter if you’re go
do it professionally or not,
Ashford. “It’s just fun.” I
But Ashford also added |
skills learned can give a I
an advantage in the job d
“If you can come into]
with that extra skill, sd
make a short promo ra
company or somethin!
can give you an edge]
Ashford.
I
Students
interested
Willamette Falls TV al
tact them at (503) 650-03
The über guber
Ben Maras
J The Clackamas Print
Low approval ratings for
Oregon leadership are already
causing many citizens to look to
the gubernatorial elections, more
than a year away. As candidates
begin filing their preliminary
paperwork and Political Action
Committees lobby to draft candi
dates, Oregonians are trying their
best to stay informed on a contro
versial race, especially on the issue
of education.
The man in the crosshairs
is incumbent Governor Ted
Kulongoski (D). Criticized by
Republicans for his lcft-of-center
rhetoric, and mockingly called
“Bowler-in-Chief ’ for his cam
paign ads featuring the candidate
bowling, his actions are also gath
ering opposition within his-own
party. Many consider his education
rhetoric to be stronger than his
actions.
He has also shown support for a
national military draft to aid in the
war effort in Iraq and Afghanistan,
which did little to help his numbers
in the blue-state of Oregon.
Lane County Commissioner
PeteSorensonhasalreadylaunched
a campaign to take out Kulongoski
in the primaries. In addition, fel
low Eugene Democrat Senator
Vicki Walker has expressed inter
est in the job, but is still unsure
if she will run. Walker has been
a strong advocate for education,
demonstrating on the steps of
the capital building in Salem in
February. Both are strong leftists
who claim to appeal to “old-fash
rod
ioned Democratic values.” I
From the right, the names oa
tongues ofthe GOP are RepiH
Chairman Kevin Mannix
Senator Jason Atkinson. Maij
who lost to Kulongoski in 2M
a mere three percentage poinl
the closest margin in Orel
history - has announced aio]
run. The Oregonian lawyer, J
nally a Democrat, was a drifl
force behind many consena
measures in Salem, inclul
advocating tougher sentences!
criminals. Considered too J
servative for Oregon Danoa
he switched parties after 1J
the 1996 Attorney General ra|
Hardy Meyers.
But beating Mannix in
primary polls is Senator J|
Atkinson. A relative newel
in Oregon politics, he has bl
hailed by conservatives such]
talk-radio celebrity Lars Laid
a “different type of [Republic!
candidate” and a “common-1
Republican.”
One of his primary goal
to take power in the educaM
system “out of the hands ofspl
interests and back into the hani
parents and teachers.”
In addition, a recent 1
paign has emerged to 1
past Oregon governor Ji
Kitzhaber, who retired ft!
politics out of frustration at ij
being able to solve the stab
problems. He has been cite!
private circles as being unhj
py with Kulongoski’s perl
mance. Although he’s coni
short of declaring a run, hl
saying that he is “listening!
the campaigns.