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LAC KA MA sPpìflt
February 16, 2005
Arts fi^Entertainmen
‘Hitch’ goes off without one
Amanda Polopolus
The Clackamas Print
From watching the previews for the
movie “Hitch,” I was expecting it to be an
over-hyped comedy that’s fimniest parts
were only shown in the commercials, but
I was proved wrong when I actually saw
the film. “Hitch” was pleasantly surprising
with unexpected quirks that made it a very
enjoyable film to watch.
We meet Alfred Hitchens (Will Smith)
in the lively city of New York, where he
resides as a consultant to men
who are of the less-confident
and smooth persuasion. Hitch
is more commonly known as
the “date doctor.” He helps men
of all kinds to win the. heart of
the girl of their dreams by the
third date.
His love interest, Sara (Eva
Mendes) is a successful gossip
columnist for a tabloid in the
city. They meet at the same time
Hitch is helping his overweight
and clumsy client (Kevin James)
win the heart of a hot, young, SMITH
million-dollar heiress that he works for.
Mendes and Smith meet at a club and their
strong, confident and somewhat cocky
egos attract as well as butt heads.
This movie was originally titled “Last
First Kiss,” one of Hitch’s lines in the
movie. The title was Changed to “Hitch,”
perhaps because the producers wanted
people to view it as more of a comedy
than a romantic movie. Although it is a
love story, the comedy is what stole my
heart. The part of Sara was rumored to
have been played by Jennifer Lopez, but I
think Eva was more deserving of the part;
she was graceful yet cunning,
and I think she gives us a fresh
face to look at; this movie
gave her a time to shine.
All in all, this movie is
fresh, different, and hysteri
cal. Very rarely do movies
make me laugh deep down,
but “Hitch” accomplished just
that. This is definitely a great
date movie. I’d advise every
one to go see this hilarious
movie about how love strikes
in unexpected ways.
Smith, the “Date Doctor,” gives his clueless client (James) a few mJ
mud
needed dating tips in hopes he’ll catch his million-dollar heiress. I
Love for ‘Pirates! ’ is arrr-dent CONCERT GUIDE
FEBRUARY 18
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1
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Internet Photo
FEBRUARY 19
DJ Pander, Lust O Rama
9 p.m.
Dante’s
1 SW 3rd
$7(21+)
Tsunami Fundraiser
Flowmotion, Ashbury Park
9 p.m.
The Crystal Ballroom
$7 at the door (All ages) 1
Subtle, Dept, of Angels
9 p.m.
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Bumside
The Locust
8 p.m.
The Meow Meow
320 SE 2nd Ave
$10 (All ages)
Roundabout, Linus,
Alliance, Last Stand
7 p.m.
Paris Theater
Ashes to Ashes w/ DJ Rob
Swift
7 p.m.
PSU Stott Center
930 SW Hall St.
$6 (AIT ages)
Sexi/vd f Reproefaétñ/e
Romancing governors’ daughters is fun, until their fiances find out and challenge you to a duel, that is.
, Isaiah Creel
I Über Nerd
Batten down your hatches,
hoist your main sail and swab
your poop; “Sid Meier’s Pirates!”
is sure to bring out the scurvy
dog in ye.
Ever since Captain Shawn
Fanning set sail across the inter
net under the infamous colors of
cat in head phone, piracy in its
many forms (drinking rum and
stealing in particular) has become
quite popular with the bilge
rats.
Granted Johnny Depp was
blazing hot in “Pirates of the
Caribbean” and that skull and
crossbones thingy is really
rather menacing to have on
your spiky leather jacket, but
I for one was totally above
the whole, “ooh, look, I’m
a pirate” thing ... until Sid
Meier redid his 1987 release
“Pirates!,” that is.
I must be honest, I never
played “Pirates!” when it
came out (at that time I was more
interested in climbing trees and
pretending to be a pirate than
watching pixels dance across
my vision) but having played
“Pirates!” redone, I wish I had the
same disdain for physical activity
and imaginary exercise then that
I do now.
“Pirates!” offers a number of
avenues of game play, each of
which has its own form of mini-
game. Role-players will enjoy
drifting about from port to port
romancing governors’ daughters,
action nuts will enjoy battle on
the high seas and strategy junkies
will revel in ransacking various
ports of call.
w Each of the mini-games cen
ters on the kidnapping of the
main character’s relatives and his
quest for revenge. I named thie
Seems straightforward, but when
the Spanish send ship after ship
laden with riches your way,'or
when the English stronghold has
a shortfall of guards and an excess
of doubloons, it is hard to remain
focused on the task at hand.
The game starts off easy
enough for an eight-year-old to
master but rewards you with extra
shares of the booty for higher dif
ficulty settings. The open-ended
nature of the game combined
with the easy interface creates a
very high replay value.
The graphics are cartoony
but lend themselves quite
well to the simple action and
number-pad controls. For
some reason, after installing
the game, I experienced a
numbet of out of the blue
error screens and game ter
minations. Setting the video
settings to the lowest lev
els of detail only increased
the sudden terminations but
miraculously setting them to
the highest fixed the problem
Internet Photo
completely.
main character Bilgey McRats
So, if nautical nonsense is
but you can feel free to name him something you wish, grab your
something like Blue Beard if you cutlass, pop open a bottle of
are an unimaginative prick.
Captain Morgan’s, throw on that
The goal of the game is to Captain Bogg and Salty CD, put
find Bilgey’s family and avenge “Pirates Of the Caribbean” on
them by (gasp!) killing the pirate mute and throw “Sid Meier’s
responsible for theif abduction. Pirates!” into the old disc drive.
It’s what we do. And we do it we
For confidential, low-cost or no-cost
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• birth control
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Clackamas Express
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(503)496-0811
16068 SE 82nd Drive
(503)666-6680
501 NE Hood Ave., Suite H