4 •
C ommentary
T he C lackamas P rint
»»«I m »—.»-«—
What is that
smell in the
| Skylight
Dining
Room ?
“Greasy
nasty
kitchen.”
Isnardo
Gandarilla
The Skylight Dining Room houses a mysteriously unpleasant odor, making it the ‘nosesore’ of the college.
Stumped students speculate stench
Ben Maras
O pinion E ditor
One question has plagued
Clackamas students since the
dawn of time: What is that unusu
al and unpleasant odor in the
Skylight Dining Room?
Theories range from poor ven
tilation, to a plot by the College to
use neurotoxins to gain unlimited
control over the brains of the
entire student body. Others believe
there is a Sasquatch living in a
bomb-shelter under the floor
boards.
Thé pure fact that a dining area
(which implies that one is sup
posed to eat in it) smells of a mix-,
ture of mold and chëese wiz is?
Evan
Fasson
■
something to be worried about.
What on this earth Could produce
such an unusual smell?
It can be one of three things: ani
mal, mineral or vegetable. Most min
erals do not produce strange odors
(brimstone aside); besides, the smell
of the lounge is a bit more organic
than the smell of a rock.
Veggie? Maybe, if one counts
some bizarre fungal growth as a
vegetable, and if it is, would a bot
tle of Round-Up really cost that
much? With the sheer magnitude
of the odor, though, it seems the
fungus may have grown legs and
teeth and,,spends nights stalking
the campus ,for prey, dropping
strange trails of peat-moss, at
which pojpt | jt becomes, both an
animal and a vegetable.
It could still be a dead animal,
like a large rodent, maybe a capy
bara. Or it could be something far
worse, such as the bodily odors, of
thousands of college students,
trapped in a confined area, roast
ing and stewing in a veritable
steam room under the hot Oregon
sun (words that usually cannot go
together). With no way to escape,
the smell only cooks down until
the air is a near plasnia of , noxious
fumes, sending the students’ sens
es into neurological convulsions,
their scent receptors trying to leap
right out of their nostrils and hurl
themselves to their deaths.
Of all the theories, perhaps this
is the most disturbing; (although
mold-monsters is a close second
It is hard to imagine how mu
B.O. it takes (not to mention t
time it takes) for odors to combi
to create that pungent aroma.
There are legitimate conccr
in this matter; a repulsive smell
an unknown origin would usui
warrant an investigation. B
since it doesn’t seem to be a hi.
concern for the college, all we c
do is sit back and hope it’s n
anything toxic (or predatory). 1
Best of luck to ASG, as t
new Construction plans call fl
their office to be moved into ti
area. At least then maybe measu:
might finally be taken to rcmc
the odor and we’d finally have til
age-old question answered.
'Z
New Fox reality make-over show
'The Swan' ruffles viewers' feathers
“I know what
it used to
smell like... it
used to smell
like urine.”
Jennifer Trank
T he C lackamas P rint
Paul
Wanner
Laura
Andrews
“Stale bar
beque sauce, it V '..
i
L' WIIRww- s ■
smells like
BBQ and
charcoal.”
Britt
Crooks
Thanks to Fox’s new program
“The Swan,” reality TV has sunk to
a new low that has redefined the
exploitation of women to danger
ous levels, exhibiting television at its
worst
For those who have yet to see
the show, each week viewers are
presented two new self-proclaimed
physical and social misfits. Actually,
they are average-looking women
who have fallen victim to today’s
unrealistic, media-driven portrayal
of the way women should look.
Each woman describes the mis
ery associated with each physical
“flaw.” Viewers learn why each
contestant is so utterly unhappy
with herself while plunging
through the most dismal lows in her
life. One contestant recalls her
father warning her grade school
teacher “not to expect much from
her,” while another describes the
pain and humiliation associated
with requiring daily facial shaving.
Contestants become the project
of a “team of experts” including
two plastic surgeons, a cosmetic
dentist, dermatologist, physical
trainer and therapist (thankfully).
The panel critiques each woman
from head to toe in brutal detail,
peppering thé discussion with such
comments as “That nose has got to
go” and “It’s a scalpel, not a magic
wand.” The beauty wannabes then
undergo multiple procedures to
bring their physical appearance
more in line with what the experts
feel is the ideal woman (picture
Britney, Beyonce and Barbie rolled
into one). They are then resuscitat
ed, bandaged and wheeled to a
motel to recover, looking like
they’ve had encounters with a meat
grinder and a blowtorch.
Still shrouded in gauze, the
Svyan hopefuls are put on rigorous can do for them,” said Rohrich.
Rohrich also expresses concern
exercise regimens and restrictive
diets to shed the pounds required to for the young, impressionable
audience.
win the pageant
“The public is being lulled into a
On a positive note, the women
are also provided weekly psycholog sense that there are no real risks or
ical counseling which, in most complications [associated with] cos
metic plastic surgery,” he said.
cases, is totally inadequate
After three months, contestants
The ASPS urges potential
and their construction team gather patients to find a qualified plastic
for the unveiling. To add to the fer surgeon that operates in an
vor at the “big reveal,” mirrors are accredited facility to ensure patient
off-limits throughout the recovery safety.
What the women on this pro
period. The drama is immense,
with dumbstruck girls professing gram need is major reconstruction
with unbridled joy, “I don’t even of self-esteem, not their profiles.
And we as a society need to rethink
recognize myself!” How nice.
- At the end of each episode, one what makes a person truly beautiful.
We have become a society of
“former ugly duckling” is told she
has been chosen to participate in couch-gawkers who take pleasure in
show’s beauty pageant,. while the the drama of others. This show
other is told, “Sorry, not good takes the meek, the insecure and the
miserable, places them at center
enough!”
What message are we sending stage and gathers the masses to
about inner beauty and loving one stare and shake their heads in agree
self? Is the scope of what consti ment: “She is indeed ghastly.”
tutes attractive really that narrow?
This is not only exploitive on
Can the misery and self-loathing it the part of Fox, but in poor taste
takes a lifetime to amass be eradi and downright cruel. Ther sad
cated with a scalpel, a tube of lip part is most of us will remain
stick and a few sessions on a thera glued to our televisions, unable to
pist’s couch? This seems a bit sim- pull the plug.
plistic, not to men
tion exploitive and
dangerous.
According
to
Rod Rohrich, presi
dent
of
the
American Society of
Plastic
Surgeons
(ASPS), plastic sur
gery should not be
viewed as a means to
transform a person’s
looks or life.
“Some patients
on these shows have
unrealistic
and,
INTERNET PHOTOS
frankly unhealthy,
Before
and
after
photos
of
‘Cindy,’ a
expectations about
what plastic surgery
contestant on Fox’s ‘The Swan.’
Letters to !
the Editor
(
]
High cost in
cafeteria gives
students' shaft
I wanted to bring some
thing to the student body’s
attention. It may be trivial toI
some, but I think it will res
onate with others. It used to
cost about two dollars for al
bowl of soup just a couple of
terms ago; it now costs $3.40
or so.
It used to cost fifty cents to
get a refill on a regular coffee;
now it is about $1.10. That is a
120
percent
increase.
Starbucks only charges 50
cents in the real world. Doi
they sell Stock in this compa
ny? With this kind of market
profits, who needs to invest in
their 40IK? Just buy cafeteria
stock and you are set.
The point I want to make
is: Why the dean doesn’t do!
anything about it? I com
plained to the dean’s staff and
they said they would get back
to me and never did. I wondet
if the student president even
knows or cares that the stu-
dents are being gouged big
time. By the way, I was told
that the school gets a percent
age of the profits.
Maybe that’s why nobod;
will call me. Two plus two
equals what? It equals the
school making more profits
and the students getting the
■shaft. Just a thought.
Karl Barnes
CCC Student