COMMHYIÄRy
F ebruary 4, 2004
T he C lackamas P rint • 3
Astronomical budget on Mars plan
Price tag on Marsztoo high
with Earth in current shape
Hive we now concluded that the Moon
has massive oil reserves? Are the Martians
now buying Uranium
from
the
Neptunians?
What other possible reason could
Dubya have to want to set up. a lunar base
and send people to Mars? Maybe he’s just a
closet trekkie and is still harboring secret
hopes to meet up with some hot Vulcan
babe. Whatever his reasons, the idea sure
seems pretty half-baked to me?
Sending people to Mars and back to the
Moon (assuming we went there to begin
with) would benefit science, but how much
and at what cost? What benefit could we
possibly get that would outweigh the gross
misuse of funding? If anyone can think of
something, please let me know
Sure, the idea in itself isn’t bad, but seri
ously, the space race is over, why are our
heads so far in the clouds we can’t see
what’s happening here on Earth? The econ
omy is in one of the worst slumps in
recorded history and the two wars we’re,
fighting in the Middle East are doing more
than their fair share of draining funds.
Let’s focus on the current economy,
because, far too much could be said on the
“War on Terror” to fit on one page. At the
present time, the national debt is
$7,020,435,594,767.28. By publication
time, it will be much higher, considering the
debt has been growing at average rate of $2
billion per day since September of 2003.
This means that the average American’s
share of debt is approximately $23,970.26.
For a continuous clock showing thé growth
of the debt; visit http://www.brillig.
com/debt_clock.
So the country is $7 trillion in' the hole?
Conversely, at the end of Clinton’s term
was the first budget surplus of a genera
tion, as well as a 30-year low in unemploy
ment. Yet since Bush took office in 2000,
more than 3.2 million people are unem
ployed.
How much will his space fetish cost?
While experts have said it is too early to tell
for sure, NASA Administrator Sean
O’Keefe has said that it will cost hundreds
of billions of dollais to get the plan off the
ground. That’s money that right now, the
country cannot afford to Spend. Before we
invest in other planets, maybe we should
invest in our own. Put the money towards
creating new jobs..... ’ and keep the jobs
here, instead of letting the WTO ship jobs
overseas.
No «matter how hot Bush finds women
with pointy ears and no emotions, he needs
to set his priorities straight, and fix a coun
try he’s screwed up before he starts plan
ning how to screw up another planet.
Larger space program would
greatly further science, society
Isaiah Creel
T he C lackamas P rint
Since the first Neanderthal stared at the
sky and grunted, mankind has been infatu
ated with the idea of what dwells in the
heavens. ‘
Recently, it seems that the Neanderthal
in-Chief has also been looking to the sky
and grunting, and while I don’t agree with
the majority of Bush’s proposals, I believe
that going to Mars has been a long time in
coming.
Some would consider this multi-million
dollar endeavor to be a ridiculous waste of
funds that could be better spent on educa
tion or perhaps healthcare, but the reality is
that the last time America was interested in
space, there were numerous technological
advances in both the educational and health
fields. Just take the microwave oven or the
pacemaker for example, neither may have
been invented without the aid of the space
program.
Granted, the goal of putting a human
on Mars is quite lofty and the person
responsible for such a great idea is, for lack
of a better word, an “ape.” There is also no
realistic way to acquire the truckloads of
cash it will take to fund this project, but it’s
a good idea nonetheless.
The real question shouldn’t be why are
we going, but how are we going to pay for
this endeavor? As Homer Simpson would
agree, the only way to accomplish a crazy
scheme is with an even crazier scheme.
Look at it this way. The military is what
made it possible for the president to run
amuck in the Middle East, a project which
has yet to improve the state of America’s
national debt.
So if the military is sucking up all the
funding for our country’s precious schools,
why not just eliminate the military? Is the
President perhaps afraid that America is
seen as a bully and without a military would
be vulnerable to the abundance of enemies
the U.S. has accumulated?
After all, the Cold War is over and the
need for ridiculous amounts of destructive
devices is somewhat lessened. The hun
dreds of billions of dollars spent on the
military would easily support a trip, or two,
to Mars. We could even use all of those
military vehicles as scrap metal to build
rockets and space buggies.
The reality of the situation is that going
to Mars is an expensive project, but the
constant expense that is the military is far
more costly.
Go ahead and debate the worth of not
having a military. The fact remains that the
space program produces things that help;
the military, however, produces things that
have no other purpose but to harm.
Chiefs’ What guys should know about what women want
Comer:
Cyndee Mady
Co E ditor - in -C hief
Valentine’s Day is perhaps just
another hyped-up holiday where
the presence of a date is essential
and the dateless seem to disappear
into the quixotic shadows of the
moonlit night.
Even people who have a date
this V-day, may still be in need of
a litde help with their approach.
First-dates can be a nerve-rack
ing experience for just about any
one. However, when keeping in
mind a few simple rules, men can
hurdle the first-date blunders and
possibly even reach the finish line
a winner.
Let’s start at the beginning—a
man needs to take charge.
The scenario of “What do
you want to do?” followed by “I
don’t know; what do you want to
do?” gets really old, really fast.
A woman may not want to con
tinue dating a man who doesn’t
have enough creativity to plan a
T he
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first date, let alone a second or
third.
My suggestion: plan a date that
is fun and imaginative, but also
breaks the ice. There is nothing
worse than those awkward pauses
that occur in the calm of a
romantic setting, serving only to
instigate the annoying ritual of 20
questions.
Secondly, flowers on the
first daté is just so cliché.
It is a nice thought in
theory, but many women
frown upon this gesture
because all it really signifies
is that a guy is sucking up
and hoping to score—
points, that is.
My suggestion: Wait until the
third or fourth date when it is
unexpected; this way, the man
initially saves some money
while determining whether
or not the woman is
worthy of subsequent
dates. The woman, on
the other hand, feels more
deserving of the flowers^—hence
more grateful.
A third quandary is the conver
sation.
In an effort to impress the
woman and suppress anxiety, a
man often talks about himself
too much. Though this may be
characteristic of the first-date
jitters and not his true personal
ity, he may still come off as pre
tentious.
tton: Ask the
woman a few questions and try
to find a common bond to talk
about. Avoid swapping life sto
ries on the first date.
A fourth rule of thumb con
cerns the good night ritual.
At the end of the date, a man
might have difficulty discerning a
woman’s desires when it comes to
the goodnight
kiss.
There
is one
telltale sign
a man should
look for in determining
whether or not he
should
make
an
attempt.
My suggestion:
If a woman hesitates
before
entering
her
home, fumbling with her
keys and the like—she is giv
ing the guy an opportunity to
get closer.
Don’t miss this
phance to lean in for the kiss.
However, the guy should not
invite himself in. Trust me;
she’ll make it obvious if she
wants to take it a step further.
Finally, don’t play games, but at
the same time, avoid coming on
too strong, too fast.
It is perfectly acceptable to call
in the next day or two to let a date
know it was a good time and men
tion the possibility of a second
date, but don’t call three times
that day or ask her to go out again
the very next night.
My suggestion: Keep the con
versation short and sweet, giving
the woman something to look
forward to. I’Ve had guys call me
the next morning, tell me they’d
call later and call again to tell me
goodnight. We had one date yes
terday—give me a break! Men
do not have the patent on heading
for the hills when stalker-type ten
dencies creep into play.
So if you’re one of the lucky
ones who have a date this
Valentine’s Day, I hope this
advice will help get your desired
result.
If however, you are one of
the poor dateless slobs who are
stuck home watching animal
planet, after dark, you can still
take solace in the fact that on
February 15—all of those
annoying heart shaped boxes of
candy are 50 percent off!
Co Editors-in-Chief:
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Photographers: Truman
Goals: 77>e Clackamas Print aims to
Cyndee Mady and Cory Price
Copy Editor: Katie Funk
News Editor: Karlin Johnson
Opinion Editor: Ben Maras
Feature Editor: Karen Hill
A&E Editor: Isaiah Creel
Sports Editor: Nie Delzell
Mark Falling, ext. 2578
Photo Editor: Jesse Lamond
Staff Writers: Shannon
Armstead, Sara Atkeson, Faye
Dodds, Shingo Izumi, Frank Jordan,
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Anderson, Amy Cashman,
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expressed do not necessarily reflect those
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