C ommentary
4 • T he C lackamas P rint
J anuary 28, 2004
State of Union: curious George goes bananas
Ben Maras
O pinion E ditor
I’ve always made an effort to stay
up to date on world events, even if it
means sitting through some of the
most ridiculous speeches one could
dream of, but this year President
Bush s State of the Union Address
really tested my patience.
“Ais the
United States
is a free coun
try people
should be able
to make the
decision as to
how they live
their lives.”
I should not have been surprised
After more rambling about regime
by the fact that he began with talking change, middle-eastern democracy and
about the so-called “War on Terror,” nu-cue-lar weapons, he moved onto
nor should I have been surprised the the economy. After dropping the word
first thing he did was drop a reference “terrorist” again, he .skimmed through
to 9/11, which America now'rcsponds a sweetened version of the economy.
to like a patriotic pavlovian-dog As he
However, he neglected to mention
paid a brief recognition to the soldiers a few crucial numbers, such as the 2.4
who he has deployed in Iraq, I won million people who lost their jobs
dered why it is then that he has attend since he took office, the mere 221,000
ed no funerals for any of the soldiers jobs created since he implemented his
who lost their lives due to his war.
tax cuts (although he promised they
Since Bush invaded Iraq in March, „would create 306,000 new jobs) and
the brave men and women have been
the six percent increase in the number
losing their lives at a rate of 1.6 per of families .living in poverty.
day (a total of. more than 500 deaths to
What also seems of disregard to
date). Not only that,
him is the 43.6 mil
but the President has
lion Americans with
stopped the long
out health care last
standing practice of
year, and he still
greeting the ./soldiers
claims that a universal
returning home ... in
health care plan
flag-draped caskets.
would not be the
No more flag, no
answer, even though
more media, and no
it would cost less than
more “honorable”
we are paying now for
greeting from the
privatized health care.
President Of the
Maybe what was
Unites States, Now
the most upsetting,
the
bodies
are
and prompted a bar
brought in by secret 1
rage of projectiles at
jet in the dead of night, and anyone the TV screen, was Bush’s wish to
who attempts to take pictures will be defend the “sanctity of marriage” by
arrested. Could it be that the President targeting “activist judges” who do not
feels a wee bit sensitive about the follow his belief that marriage should
gross loss of lives?
be defined as one man and one
“Does it bother
anyone else that
[Bush] wants to
... make a
Constitutional
amendment to
prohibit civil
rights?”
Brendon
Campbell
Unwelcome solicitors beg for students' attention
“That is my
one biggest
thing against
him. Fuck
Bush!”
Elisabeth
Bishop
“I think that
that s bullshit
Why are they
trying to make
laws based on
a particular
person's reli
gious beliefs?”
“Skot”
C ourtesy of http :// politicalhumor . about . com
woman. So I suppose it’s okay for Constitution that would officially ban
Britney Spears and whatever the name gay and lesbian marriages. Does it
of her husband du-jour was, to get bother anyone else that he wants to,
married and then get divorced a cos for the first time in the entire history
mic nanosecond later, but not okay for of United States; make a constitution
two men or women who have been in al amendment to prohibit civil rights?
a monogamous relationship for years
After all was said and done, and my
to be joined into the “holy bond of stockpile of projectiles lay. scattered
marriage?”
around the .television screen- my only
Bill Clinton may have signed the solace was that at least it’s an election
Defense of Marriage Act, but now we year and, God willing, this will be the
are looking at something much more last time I have to put up with this
serious—an amendment to the U.S.
utter nonsense
Traversing
the
Clackamas
Community College campus, I am
often in a state of awe at how unnerv-
ingly irritating some groups of people
can be. It’s not unusual for an average
student, I for example, to find a
plethora of things in life worth com
plaining about. Once in a while, some
thing will stand out from the crowd
and perhaps somebody will share my
opinions on the topic of political pan
handlers.
The good ol’ American Heritage
Dictionary of the English Language
defines the act of panhandling as
“approaching and begging from a
stranger.” Normally, this act involves
the want of monies; one can also pan
handle seeking an audience, political
vote or denominational change by the
panhandled.
The most recent festeringly both
ersome panhandlers hail from a politi
cal party proclaiming “Vote LaRouche
in 2004.” Three or four scruffy look
ing members of this group have
shown up on campus twice in the past
several weeks.
Two days of handing out flyers
and accosting passersby would not
have had much of
an impact on my
patience, but these
fellows more than
made up for time
constraints
by
employing volumes
of printed garbage
and neat-guerilla
tactics for roping in
victims. If solici
tors were terrorists,
these people would
be the Taliban.
According to an
ASG representative, the non-student
LaRouche group had been given per
mission for their first visit only. CCC,
however, was not the only college to
be politically molested. A LaRouche
cult member posted outside of Rook
Hall proudly proclaimed that CCC is
in “District 5” and that the group was
going to all state colleges- distributing
their brand of propaganda.
It is not incorrect to say that this
college has its share of groups that
employ propaganda. The posters and
paper flyers tacked to doors, windows
and walls are a form of
propaganda.
Yet I’ve noticed
that groups local to our
campus are far more
discreet than those vex
ing visitors. Campus
clubs
communicate
with clutter, flecking
posters of all sizes at
any object to which
tape will stick. The
Campus Crusade for
Christ is one of the
more prolific poster
placers, as is the Rainbow Club, also
known as the gay and lesbian dub.
Campus dubs participate in a twice-
yearly community fair as well, which
gives them an organized forum for
their cause.
“If solicitors
were terrorists,
the “Vote
LaRouche in
2004” group
would be the
Taliban.”
Walking from dass to class, I might
roll my eyes at the smatterings of dub
posters, but I have no intention of
yelling at any of CCC’s many great
dubs. I do, however, recommend a
good, exasperated exclamation and
berating of the LaRouche crew, should
they show up again uninvited.
So what makes local groups okay?
Well, some of the local dubs give out
fun things to play with. Campus
Crusade for Christ, for example, gave
me a neat bouncy ball with sparkly lit
tle lights inside. I can’t say the video or
books about Jesus were particularly
useful, but the mesh bags they came in
are handy for putting socks and things
in, after I pulled the labels off.
The labels may be gone, but I will
remember where the goodies came
from. I believe the more passive
“Come bearing gifts” method is a far
more potent advertisement than con
stant soliciting. To keep the audience
from being aggravated or not wanting
to listen to a group, the speaker could
at least give listeners a sparkly to toy
with during the speech. College stu
dents like free toys.
Chiefs' Corner:
Karen
Philibert
Have an opinion
on President
Bush’s plans to go
to Mars?
E-mail your letters to
chiefed@clackamas.edu or
drop them off in RR135 by
Friday at 1 p.m. to be fea
tured in the next issue of
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Please include your name
and limit responses to no
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T he
C lackamas P rint
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The Clackamas Print is a weekly student
publication and is distributed every
Wednesday except during finals week.
Top ten pet peeves of Print's exasperated editor
place for you to crack your big toe on
it, usually in the middle of the night.
Dorothy in the-Wizard* of Oz said
Cory Price
it best when she said, “There's ho
Go Editor-iri-Chief
-place like home!” The same sentiment
applies to using the restroom. You sit
What pet peeve causes an involun-' down for a wonderful rest on the toi
tary cringe like fingernails raking let and it's not until after you begin
across a chalkboard? I have compiled your business that you realize a fatal
a list of the ultimate top ten pet flaw; there is no toilet paper. You look
peeves.
around and there is none in view-no
In a society addicted to coffee and solution to this travesty of pet peeve
the $5 latte, pet peeve number ten is number eight. The only feeling left is
the imminent burning of the tongue. anger against whoever used that last
It has happened all too often. The square of toilet paper.
latte is too hot but you're excited
Why would Oregon give Tri-Met
about having your caffeine fix. .This bus drivers a^ little yield light that
time, the drink flows too fast, singeing, makes them, feel like they can run you
your tongue nad leaving you unable to off the road? This is the number one
taste anything all day.
causing factor of road rage and pet
Continuing with self—mutilation peeve number seven.
is pet peeve number nine-toe stubbing.
Number six on my list is a person
All it takes is one chair a little out of al favorite, thanks to my sister who is
Co Editors-in-Chief:
Advertising Manager:
Cyndee Mady and Cory Price
Copy Editor: Katie Funk
News Editor: Karlin Johnson
Opinion Editor: Ben Maras
Feature Editor: Karen Hill
A&E Editor: Isaiah Creel
Sports Editor: Nie Delzell
Mark Falling, ext. 2578
Photo Editor: Jesse Lamond
Staff Writers: Shannon
Ar^nstead, Sara Atkeson, Faye
Dodds, Shingo Izumi, Frank Jordan,
Jessica LeClaire, Bethany Monroe,
Jadon Triplett
notorious for wreaking havoc Here's
a mental image: After a long day of
work, you come* home hungry and
tired, but don't feel like cooking. You
look into the freezer and see a giant
box of your favorite food. You reach
for it and, what is this? An empty box
... total letdown;
Number five. Foggy car windows
are horrible enough in themselves, but
when someone feels the need to draw
smiley faces all over the glass, that's
going too far. The grease on your fin
gers doesn't disappear with the fog.
Pet peeve number four only
applies to men and is a very pertinent,
ongoing problem for us. We have to
have dividers between the urinals.
Something doesn't feel right about
using the bathroom when another guy
is standing next to you. Privacy, is s
nice thing to have.
The infamous mullet is pet peeve
Photographers: Truman
Anderson, Angela Gerhart
Advisor: Linda Vogt
department assistant:
Lauren Vuylsteke
number three. It should have died
when Billy Ray Cyrus, the czar of the
mullet, stopped being cool. Just let the
'80s go and move on. The hair band
met its death many years ago and so
should the mullet.* -
The fact that America seems to
have become a breeding ground for
stupid people is pet peeve number
two. It's hard to understand how any
one can be so stupid. For example, if
someone doesn't know the number
for 911, then that person shouldn't be
calling them anyway.
A final pet peeve I have, occurs
here at the college. We all realize how
much money we spend for college
and, for those of us who are in col
lege, that is reason enough for us to
attend class. We don't need to be
treated like high school students, with
teachers lowering our grades for not
showing up to class.
Goals: 77>e Clackamas Print aims to
report the news in an honest; unbiased,
professional manner. The opinions
expressed do not necessarily reflect those
of the student body, college administration,
its faculty or 77>e Print. E-mail comments
to chiefed@clackamas.edu.
The Clackamas Print © 2004