T he C lackamas P rint
A rts
E ntertainment
O ctober 29, 2003
Hearse: corpse caddy for the common folk
continued from page 1
days and weekends,” says Beto
Santa Maria, a member who drives a
black 1978 Superior Cadillac with
the custom license plate 1DAYU2.
Hearse ownership is not required
for club association. Merely having
an interest in the cars and paying the
low yearly dues will get anybody
into this quirky club.
“But why would anybody
want to own a hearse?”
many would ask. The
answer is simple
After getting past
the horrible fuel
mileage and all
the
darned
ghosts and
dead peo
ple goo, a
hearse is a
very
practical,
quality-
built
vehicle.
Where else
can a buyer
get an afford
able,
used
Cadillac
that
sports a heavenly
smooth ride, has low
miles, was well-main'
tained, and can haul a stack
of plywood? Think of a hearse
as a budget Escalade.
For those new to these unique
cars, here is a short history lesson. A
hearse is a car that has been heavily
altered by a company independent
from the initial auto manufacturer.
Cadillacs are the most common,
though Buick and Lincoln hearses
are not uncommon. Changes are
made to a special commercial chassis /
so that the car can be used to perfornr
a set of tasks quite different fronya
normal passenger car. These changes
include a stretched wheel
base, custom
metal or
fiber
glass cargo
oriented body work,
rollers on the rear floor for easy stiff
loading, and heavy duty parts on all
comers. Something that many people
do not know is that those trademark
chrome S bars on the roof sides,
known as Landau bars, are a stylis
tic kick back to the devices used to
-
rise
_________
and lower the convertible tops on
carriages and early auto's.
Most members possess their own
hearse, some of which are driven
daily for such common chores as get
ting groceries and going to work.
The few members who do not yet
have a hearse are on the
lookout and eager
to enter
into
the mys
tical world of
hearse ownership, a land
where gas prices become secondary
to looking cool and a driver can look
forward to parking sideways to wipe
out a half dozen compact parking
spaces.
Style is very much a consideration
when looking to purchase a used
hearse.
“Once upon a time there were
many hearse building companies
such as Superior, S&S, Miller
Meteor and Eureka,” says Lamond.
“[These] and a score of other
independent and smaller compa
nies were all bought up by the
parent company Accubuilt.
Just about every new
hearse
produced
comes from an
Accubuilt factory
so they mostly
all look alike.
“The
real charm
ing hearses
are
the
older cars
built before
one compa
ny owned all
of the brand
names,”
Lamond added.
Most of the club
members seem to
share his opinion and
huge retired hearses
from the 70s are what
passersby are most likely to
see cruising the streets on this
frightful holiday season.
If you would like more informa
tion on ‘Hearsing Around’, or know
where there is a hearse or ambulance
for sale, then don’t hesitate to con
tact Craig Lamond via e-mail at:
hearsingaround@hotmail.com
P hoto s>Jes>e Lamond
Cheap chills, cheap thrills, cheap costumes
Michael« Cooper
T he C lackamas P rint
Visit high-tech haunted houses,
get lost in a giant com maze, explore
buildings thought to house real
ghosts and put together a costume to
die for, all without leaving the metro
area this Halloween.
Many haunted houses in Portland
offer visitors the opportunity to be
scared silly. Two star attractions this
year are “Dr. Saito's Screamland” and
“Scream at the Beach.” "Dr. Saito's,"
located at Oak's Park, is the oldest
haunted house in Portland. It features
two different haunts: “House of 1,000
Screams” and “The Underground.”
A little further down the road is
“Scream at the Beach” at the Jantzen
Beach Mall. Four scary tours are
available, including “The Forbidden
Temple,” “Baron Von Goolo's
Museum of Horrors” and “Alpha
Station 13.” The Baron's Museum
rates number one with ‘Mad
Martian,’ an online haunted house
guru.
“From the talking slime monster
to the cats that eat dynamite, this is
without a doubt the most twisted
haunted house I have ever seen,”
writes ‘Martian’ on his web site,
found at www.madmartian.com/hal-
loween.
As far as cool effects go,
Beaverton's "Spooky Town" is the
place to be. Run by a movie special
effects company, "Spooky Town" is
renowned for its amazing effects,
including real Ere. The theme of their
stunt show this year is pirates and
mummies, completed by a pirate
ship.
For the over 21 crowd, the
Portland Art Museum is hosting a
party on Oct. 31 at 8 p.m. The
“Haunted Halloween Hoedown” will
offer horror movies, a costume con
test, door prizes and a variety of
drinks ranging from beer to cocktails.
For those interested in supposed
ly genuine haunted houses, there are
quite a few in the Portland area. The
McLoughlin House is a must for
those who wishing to encounter a
“real” ghost. Admission is $4 for
adults, and tours are available until 4
p.m. Wednesday through Sunday.
The house is located on Center Street
and 7th Avenue.
Those in the Forest Grove area
might be interested in Knight Hall at
Pacific University. Allegedly, a ghost
that has been dubbed “Vera” haunts
what is now the university's music
department, but was once a private
house.
Other possibilities for ghost sight
ings include the first frame house
built in Oregon City, the Ermatinger
House, which rests after two moves
at 6th Ave and John Adams and the
Falcom Apartments in north
Portland, which have not one but
three ghosts lurking in the shadows.
One more is The Witch's Castle in
Forest Park, rumored to be violently
haunted with “ghost wars.” This
stone shack was once a trading post
during the 17th century, at a cross
roads of two trails leading to the
Oregon Coast.
All these activities deserve a
worthwhile costume. A trip up
McLoughlin Boulevard or through
the Hawthorn district will reveal
dozens of secondhand shops, offering
a million and one ideas each for the
perfect disguise.
Because of the great selection that
thrift stores offer, completely original
outfits can be produced. Don't con
form to the standards of black cats
and dead cheerleaders, or any of the
other typical facades seen around
every comer; try something new.
For example, be a pop star. The
amount of '80s clothing offered at
secondhand stores like Value Village
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Dia de los Muertos is a traditional Mexican holiday
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goes beyond count. Also consider
dressing as a video game or cartoon
character.
Another possible route is making
cheesy ideas as real as possible.
Realistic pirates, witches and story
book characters would make interest
ing costumes. The key word is “real
istic.” For these costumes, check out
vintage stores like The Red Light at
3590 S.E. Hawthorn.
Other good stores for economical
costume ideas are Goodwill and
Salvation Army, both at various loca
tions, Red White and Blue on
McLoughlin Blvd, the Metro on SE
Hawthorne and Atomic Lily on East
Bumside.
With the abundance of haunted
houses, both man-made and allegedly
genuine, and a plethora of prime cos
tume shops in the metro area,
Portlanders should have no trouble
dressing to kill and having a scream
ing good time for Halloween 2003.