April 16, 2003
The Clackamas Print
Remembering
Roger Rook
No directions in 'Mate Map'
Businessman's book on relationships
does nothing but state the obvious
Pete Ford
Marvin Baker
The Clackamas Print
The Clackamas Print
Former CCC Board of Directors
member Roger Rook, icon to many,
died of congestive heart failure
March 31 at age 75.
After spending 12 years work
ing as Clackamas County’s district
attorney, Rook joined the college’s
newly founded board of education
in 1971. He spent 32 years volun
teering his time and wisdom as one
of the board’s members.
“He was an extraordinary man
who always carried his sense of
humor with him,” said former CCC
President John Keyser. “He was
one of the best and longest-standing
board members in Oregon.”
To colleagues, Rook was a high
ly respected, professional, knowl
edgeable man who would at times
sit through meetings and breathe no
more than a simple “yes” or “no.”
According
to
Dr.
John
Hakanson, the college’s founding
president, “When he did have
something to say, he said it, and
there was nobody around him who
would argue with him.”
In February, Rook’s health prob
lems, including two heart • attacks
As my welcome back to the
paper, our lovely and talented Editor
in-Chief handed me an e-mail
regarding something called “The
Mate Map.” I was so excited I
bought new cologne. Turns out, this
thing is a book. There are no direc
tions to girls anywhere in it.
To further frustrate my efforts in
understanding this “Mate Map,”
Steven Sacks, the author, has yet to
respond to any of my phone calls for
an interview. In the end, I have been
forced to rely or. information avail
able on the internet and what I could
glean from a hurried reading of the
author’s column in “Seventeen”
magazine while waiting in line at
Albertson’s.
FYI, the author is a grown man
who spends a measure of his time
writing to an audience of underage
girls about love and relationships.
Here in Oregon, the state police like
to keep tabs on that sort of thing, so
I checked the area code of the
author’s phone number and it came
back as Durham, North Carolina.
Go figure.
This is what I have been able to
decipher from a limited amount of
and his battle with cancer, forced
him to step down from his position
and retire.
He will be remembered as a
man of vast intellectual capacity,
integrity and kindness. He will be
greatly missed by everyone whose
lives were touched by him at one
time or another.
Rook is survived by Audrey,
his wife of 49 years, his brother
Bill of Beardsley, Minn., his sister
Ruth of Ridgefield, Wash., and his
five children and their families,
including 12 grandchildren and
two great-grandchildren.
At Rook’s request, no memorial
service will be held.
Donations and gifts may be sent
to the Roger Rook Endowment
scholarship fund here at the college.
information: Young people aren’t
very adept at choosing mates. The
ones who do, usually do so for the
wrong reasons, i.e., physical attrac
tion and sex, and when they think
they have found their one and only
they are usually mistaken. This is
pretty groundbreaking stuff. Then,
the author goes on to explain that
there are three areas of mate compat
ibility that need to be fulfilled for a
truly long-lasting commitment in a
relationship:
Personality
Fit,
Magnetism, and Love. Hurray for
Captain Obvious.
In chapter one of the book the
author states, “Over the years, each
of us has had to learn through experi
ence how to deal with dating and
relationships.” After coming across
this little tidbit on the book’s website,
I checked the author’s biography.
Mister Sacks has a degree in business
and has worked for 10 years in the
Fortune 100 world of companies
where he has “honed his analytic
skills.”
All right guys, now I myself don’t
have a degree in business, and most
of the life lessons I have to offer are
more along the lines of don’t-let-this-
happen-to-you, but I believe one of
the reasons why dating is an exercise
in patient experimentation is because
emotional experience and love is a
journey, not a destination. Granted,
it’s a trip some people take by them
selves, but I don’t feel it can be con
densed into a formula that has with
stood the rigors of the business
world.
The people I know who are suc
cessful in love, relationships and
marriage are so because that is
what they have chosen. They
haven’t packed up and bolted when
things have gotten difficult with
their partners, and they certainly
don’t convert that warm squishy
feeling into pie charts regarding
the six aspects of relational com
patibility, which I am sad to say
you apparently have to read the
entire book to discover.
This is not to dispute the need for
reasoned discourse in a relationship,
but knowing when and where is more
important than how. The last time I
asked my former spouse how she felt
about me staying late at work to pol
ish off a bottle of scotch with my
boss, she laid that dainty little palm
of hers across my face, which is a
lesson that there is a time and a place
for analytical procedure.
If you want my opinion, watch
what other successful couples do and
follow their example. It will proba
bly take more time to arrive yourself,
but getting there is most of the fun.
to Peace advocates against domestic violence
Elisabeth Meyer
Feature Editor
The college will host Pathways
io Peace, a 5K run/walk Sunday,
Way 18.
The event, which is in its fourth
/ear, is a fundraiser for Clackamas
Women’s Services, a local nonprofit
irganization that works with families
iffected by domestic violence.
“It’s really empowering for past
participants (of the programs at
CWS) to see that the community sup
ports them,” said Tammy Turner,
development coordinator at CWS.
Other attractions include a dis
play of exotic pets, magicians, jug
glers and clowns. Refreshments will
be available for purchase after the
walk. The event “is becoming more
and more family friendly,” said
Turner, reporting that many of the
participants are young kids. She
encourages parents to bring strollers,
wagons or kids’ bikes.
Ten silhouettes of recent domestic
violence victims will be on display,
as Well as t-shirts created by sexual
abuse survivors participating in the
Clothesline Project.
Registration, which includes a t-
shirt and snacks, costs $10 before
May 5. Participants may register the
day of the event for $15. Forms are
available in the Dye Learning Center
and the Community Center. Kids
under six can attend for free.
Participation in the event has
risen steadily from its first head
count of 65. Last year, close to 300
participated. This year, Turner is
hoping for 500 walkers.
Turner characterizes the event
as positive. “It’s very powerful
and thought-provoking as well as a
lot of fun,” she said. Although it
draws attention to something nega
tive, she says, the event creates
hope for participants.
“It sends a message of ‘this is
what’s happening,”’ Turner said, “but
it also says ‘this is what’s happening
and look what you’re doing to help.’”
CWS evolved from a program
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started at CCC in 1977 for women
then referred to as “displaced home
makers.” Community members who
got involved with the program
formed
Clackamas
Women’s
Center, which began a crisis hotline
and opened a shelter. After internal
disagreements, the group disbanded
and the shelter was closed for near
ly a year. In 1986, the program
evolved into Clackamas Women’s
Services, which maintains the shel
ter and now handles 5,000 -a year on
the crisis hotline.