WEdNEscky,
TI he CI ac I camas P rint
M ay
22, 2002
Don’t bother me! SportsCenter is on!
SportsCenter, English for the
realm of all that is all in sports.
It’s catchy jingle, da-na-na, da-
na-na, has replaced the dinner
bell as the single greatest way
to get American males in from
the fields and into the farm
house.
ESPN’s daily showcase of the
world of sports, the gem of this
cable networks programming, is
a gift to all sports fans in the
world. Thanks to SportsCenter,
Eskimos in Alaska can know
what the walls of Yankee
Stadium looks like, while never
leaving the comfort of their
igloos.
And the “This is SportsCenter”
commercials that air on ESPN
has revolutionized the manner
in which many Americans flip
through the channels. During
SportsCenter, you don’t want to
change the channel during a
commercial break, for fear of
missing one of those ads, which
feature a variety of highly paid
athletes promoting the show in
hilarious fashion.
One such advertisement begins
with anchor Linda Cohn speak
ing of how “Bring Your
Children To Work Day” causes
everyone at ESPN to pitch in to
make the kids’ day at the
SportsCenter studios a grand
experience. Then we see
Evander Holyfield, shirtless in
boxing shorts, with his hands
taped up, reading a children’s
book to the little varmints.
Never mind that most of those
kids are probably Holyfield’s,
he just doesn’t know about it.
The spot concludes with the
Heavyweight
Champion
instructing the children to put
on their gloves because it’s cold
out. The gloves he hands them?
Miniature boxing gloves.
An avid SportsCenter viewer
even begins to feel that he or
she knows the anchors person
ally, and people can even root
for their personal favorite to
make
the
primetime
SportsCenter. I remember when
Trey Wingo Was just an ordi
nary sportscaster on KSDK in
St. Louis, which can be
considered the Double A
of sports broadcasting.
Then Wingo moved onto
ESPNews, or Triple A, and now
he is giving me sports at the big
time, in the big leagues. I could
never be 'more proud of this
hometown boy, always full of
promise, making it to the show.
The American version of
English has benefited from
SportsCenter, with the show’s
personalities tossing out cre
ative one-liners and phrases
such as, “He must be butter,
‘cause he’s on a roll!”
Rich Eisen, a man who has
been with ESPN since I was a
wee teenager, spouts this
famous phrase from A Few
Good Men when an outfielder
makes a leaping grab at the
fence to rob some poor hitter of
a home run. “You want me
on that wall! You need
me
on
that
wall!”
SportsCenter has been there
when no one else could be, such
as at 3:32 a.m., when I forgot to
study for Chemistry and could
n’t find anyone at that ungodly
hour to aid me in my quest for
quick memory retention. But
who were my study partners,
but Stuart Scott and Dan
Patrick, both SportsCenter
anchors.
Even an episode of Spin City,
back in the Michael J. Fox days,
centered around Fox’s charac
ter’s addiction to SportsCenter.
The last straw for his girlfriend
came when at a very intimate
moment,
Fox
heard
the
SportsCenter jingle and could
n’t keep his eyes from wander
ing to the nearby television set.
Which brings me to yet another
great use for SportsCenter: birth
control. Think about it, what is the
one thing that would keep a man
away from a wanting female? You
guessed it, SportsCenter.
One of the most intense moments
of my life was when SportsCenter
got a new studio, with a new look
to boot. Those were tough times,
but we pulled through. Me and
SportsCenter, that is.
SportsCenter. The name just
flows from the soul, surfacing
emotions that I never knew I
could feel. As much as things
may change throughout my life, I
know I have one thing that
remains the same. Yes, thank you
God, for SportsCenter.
To reach Nick Barron e-mail
barronoru@hotmail.com
or
drop by B-104.
Softball: Six Cougars named all-tournament
Softball continued
from page 1
lead in the fourth and fifth
innings, scoring twice in each
inning, and Clackamas could not
muster any more offense the rest
of the way. Lower Columbia fin
ished off a 40-1 season with a 7-
1 victory and the NWAACC
championship.
“We told die girls before the
tournament to go out and make a
memory, to play like every play
would be the last,” Fiskum said.
“You get to hang a banner on the
gym wall for first or second place
in the tournament, and everyone
on the team talked about seeing
that banner hung in the Randall
gym. Well, we get to hang that
banner, and these girls know that
they are part of something really
special, something they will
remember the rest of their lives.”
Staley, Huffstetter, Murphy,
Holm and Gillaspie were named
to the all-tournament first team
"You get to hang a ban
ner on the gym wall for
first or second place in
the tournament, and
everyone on the team
talked about seeing that
banner hung in the
Randall gym.
Paul Fiskum
Head Coach
The softball team represented Clackamas at the NWAACCs held at Delta Park May 17-19.
They ended the weekend with second place, behind champion Lower Columbia College.
and Comstock was named to the
second team. Every player on the
first team was from Clackamas,
Lower Columbia or Mt. Hood.
To reach Frank Jordan e-mail
fmj68@hotmail.com or drop by
B-104.
Get your
Foodhandler Card
ON-LINE
www.foodhancller.org
Contact Chemeketa Community Cotlegs’s
Hospitality Systems Management Program
Start anytime. Tuition: $15
503-399-5146
Thinking about becoming a teacher?
Clackamas Community College can help!
CONNECTIONS FOR TEACHER TRAINING (CT2)
*Learn teaching strategies
* Incorporate technology in the classroom
*Classroom experience with a teacher mentor in the Clackamas
School District
*Grant pays for 24 required education classes, save over $ 1000 in
tuition!
*Create an electronic portfolio
•
*Transferable courses
For further information or to receive an application please contact:
Paula Hamm, 503-657-6958 x2804 Email: pau!ah(3)r-larkamas.cc.or.us
Download applications from our website! http://depts.clackamasxaor.us/pt3
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