5
M ay 15, 2002
TI he CI ac I camas P rint
Life lost, not essence
“He regretted that he had only
one life to give to a career, and
that if he had another, it would be
to geology,” said Weisner.
Weisner and Diller became
uane A. Diller, geology close during the school year,
student and friend of despite the short time they had
Clackamas, died April known each other.
23 of an apparent heart attack. “We would walk around cam
Diller was a 63-year-old pus and talk,” said Weisner. “I
retired ophthalmologist, who still look for him when I go into
found a new love for the science lab.” When her class was told
of geology. He took every geol the tragic news, some people left,
ogy class Instructor John Snively others sat in disbelief.
offered. He also went on the
“You could wait a lifetime to
annual Death Valley trip that meet someone as dynamic as he
brought students of all ages was,” said Snively. “He was so
together and let them have the alive, he was the last person on
opportunity to know Diller and earth you would expect to die.”
his energetic attitude.
He was always excited about
“He was very animated and full everything,” said Weisner. “He
of life,” skid Snively. “He was was always sending off e-mails
always positive, always smiling about some new concept he
and laughing. He was good at learned in class. His presentation
getting people to look at things in in Death Valley was absolutely
a different way.”
hysterical.”
Diller once told fellow student
In fact, Diller made such an
Kim Weisner about a regret in his impact during his Death Valley
life. It was a regret that not too trip, he was the inspiration for a
many people would think of.
quote that was printed on the T-
DAISY BAIN
A&E Editor
D
shirts that were made for the trip.
“Shocked by the Real,” was a
quote out of a required reading
from Snively’s class by Edward
Abbey. Diller took that quote to
heart. Every time he saw some
thing new and exciting he would
recite those words. He was
amazed at what kind of life was
out there, and left those words
imprinted in everyone’s minds.
Diller moved to Portland in
1970 and was working at
Clackamas Eye Care before retir
ing in 1998. '
He is survived by his wife,
Dana, who has accompanied
Diller through his newfound love
of bird watching; two daughters,
Linda Runzi and Cheryl
Campbell;
three
brothers,
Lehman, Dennis and Jay Diller;
two sisters, Miriam Markovits
and Ruth Fox; three stepchildren,
Jennifer Lindsey, Marcy Jane and
Dan Kaufman; four grandchil
dren and two more on the way.
To reach Daisy Bain, e-mail
Daisypower2@yahoo.com
or
drop by Bl04.
Secure the college’s financial future the natural way
After last week’s senti
mental
musings
regarding
Mother’s Day, I feel it only fair
that I double up on the proto
neanderthal sexist drivel. That
being said, bear in mind this is
strictly for entertainment purpos
es.
To: CCC President Earl “Joe”
Johnson
Re: Suggestions for improving
enrollment.
Dear Sir,
It’s no secret that the
State has been poaching educa
tion budgets to achieve damage
control in Salem, and this affects
us all. Well Mister President,
make not with the long face. I
have several ideas that should
remedy any future budget crises
and, at the same time, strengthen
Clackamas Community College’s
standing as an institution of high
er learning.
First thing is a sure-fire
plan to improve enrollment:
tuition waivers for all exotic
dancers in the Portland Metro
area. Get them out of the clubs
and into public where the rest of
us broke bastards can see ‘em.
Think of the communi
ty relation’s potential; the head
lines alone would be worth mil
lions in image building -
“President Johnson scores big
with strippers on campus.”
Former Senator Packwood
would probably donate funds for
a cable access channel. The only
initial drawback I can see would
be in relocating the Criminal
Justice classes into a building
with a view of the quad in time
for
Catholic
schoolgirl
Wednesdays.
You’d have to make it
worthwhile for the girls of
course, say, three credits a term
for actually wearing the uniform,
four if they carry a great big lol
lipop around all day. Pigtails
would be extra credit. From
there we could add different
themes throughout the term as
needed, hot librarian Mondays,
Frederick’s
of Hollywood
Fridays, etc. I don’t think I need
to point out that Secretary’s day
could become an epic event.
Add a candy-striper elective to
the nursing program, with shuttle
service to and from downtown,
and you’ll never have to go back
to Salem for money again.
Just be sure to spread
their enrollment around to fill all
the classrooms - I’m thinking
until the Fire Marshall is cursing
you on a daily basis. This way
any guy inclined to share his seat
with one of our local treasures
could telegraph his chivalry by
donning official CCC sweatpants
(underwear optional), which we
would sell for twice the current
rate in the ASG office. Is this a
brilliant
plan
or
what?
Everybody makes out.
Unfortunately,
some
sacrifices will have to be made to
cut costs during the initial
recruitment of our new student
body. To make optimum use of
existing assets I suggest combin
ing the computer science depart
ment with the cheer squad to cre
ate an Internet outreach program
hosting the Distance Learning
Department. Sounds awkward at
first, but I think this could be a
marriage made in heaven.
Picture if you will, a prospective
online student logs on for a tour
and is greeted with a little school
spirit:
“Hi,
I’m
Ginger.
Welcome to the CCC science
department’s web site. Would
you like to see the effects of grav
ity on my skirt?”
In the world of e-com-
merce, cheerleaders are a sure
thing, and we’ve got the real
dealright here. While I’m on the
subject, what is it you are doing
in the interview and selection
process that sends all the hotties
to teach at Kindercare? There
are far too many balding and
bearded instructors here, not to
mention that there are way more
men than women. And I don’t
see how we’re going to have a
swimsuit issue ready for the
spring catalogue unless you start
coughing up perks for the staff.
Try something simple at first,
maybe a Victoria’s Secret
expense account with tenure.
Trust me, if you want
real communication between the
sexes, put some chesty dingbat in
black latex in front of the weld
ing class and you’ll have commu
nication it in all its monosyllabic
glory, just the way nature intend
ed.
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