A
ThE ClACkAMAS P rìnt
**______ K
M ay
8, 2002
Time to extend a white flower to mom
some relevance to someone out
there. Consider it a public service
announcement in honor of a holi
day that I have neglected for many
years.
I have been estranged from both
of my parents since my fall from
grace. For a time, I had resigned
myself to living without family
ties, possibly seeking or being
sought out at some point in the
distant future and dealing with the
conflict then.
Why, after all, do I need to invite
thirty plus years of hurt feelings,
familial strife, disappointment and
criticism back into my life? I still
have friends. I have a beautiful
daughter. I even get to vent pub
licly and enjoy a degree of satis
In honor of Mother’s Day, my faction for having a readership to
snappy patter is taking a siesta. vent to.
For starters, I’d like to apologize I should be able to live through
to my readers for the inconsis
this and still say goodbye at the
tent publication of my column of appropriate moment with a clean
late. That being said, I aim to be conscience. Pretty mercenary,
on track through the end of the don’t you think? Not surprisingly,
school year.
this plan hasn’t held up well over
As much as I hate to admit.it, the long haul.
there is a degree of responsibility In defense of some, I would
that comes with putting my atti interject that there are those
tude and opinions, as tongue in among us who have good reasons
cheek as they may be, out in
for avoiding, or even fearing, their
public.
own parents. I’ve been locked up
Occasionally this responsibility with some of the worst and they
can have an upside, namely
deserve to be where they are.
when some experience I’ve had Sadly, they are usually people who
can serve as an example to oth are unable or unwilling to see
ers. Granted, it’s usually an
beyond their own needs, pain or
example of what not to do, but fears and their children are the
I’m trying the “glass half-full”
ones who’ve paid the price.
thing these days, so seeking the
Like many of us, however, I do
positive - the value of a lesson
not have such an excuse. For the
learned - is important.
most part I simply have had no
One of these lessons is finding idea what to say or how to reach
that I’m not so different from
out, and knowing there’s quite a
others as I once thought. This
bit of my parents in me, I imagine
has been discovered by simply
it is equally difficult for them.
talking to people; a skill I once
Assuming, that is, either of us
sorely lacked.
would be capable of setting aside
I’m pretty confident what I
pride to make the effort in the first
share with you next will have
place. This is where, I, personal
ly, have the biggest problem fit
ting into the big boy pants.
Thankfully, one of the things I
have learned in my numerous
attempts to piss off everybody on
the planet: no one is above acting
like a child, not even a parent.
This kind of levels the playing
field so to speak. And, I also real
ize quite a few of us childish sorts
are “tired of always having to be
the one who makes the first
move.”
Well, I must admit, there is no
one who can lay claim to always
having to be the peacemaker. (By
thé way, when I catch myself
using “always” or “never,” that’s a
pretty good sign my argument has
devolved into finger-pointing.)
Suddenly, it becomes possible my
folks may be thinking the same
way. The scary part is, until I ask,
I won’t know. I hate this part.
Stay tuned.
For those of you with a nagging
suspicion that this might be rele
vant in your own lives, make
yourself safe, gather some support
and then deal - whatever that may
require for you and your situation.
Until then, no amount of anger,
food, sex, drink, drugs, money or
relationships will fill the hole
inside you. Trust me, I’ve tried to
make all of them work and the
only things I have to show for it
are a skewed sense of humor and
a really pissed off ex (I can’t say I
blame her).
See you next week, and call your
mother.
Hyperstar and The Young
Republicans are here to
rock the house! Come by
and get some good eats
and prizes from 12 p.m. to
2 p.m. in front of the
courtyard.
Think about...
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Daisy Bain/The Clackamas Print
Tiffany Woods of Oregon City (left), talks with travel writer
M.J. Cody, author of “Wingin’ It,” a travel column that
appears in The Oregonian’s Sunday Travel section every
fourth Sunday of the month.
Authors travel to campus
Two established travel columnists visited Clackamas Wednesday,
May Ifor Authors’ Night, “Travel Writers of the Northwest.
M.J. Cody, co-editor of “Wild in the City, a Guide to the Portland-
Vancouver Metropolitan Greenspaces,” and author of The Oregonian
column, “Wingin’ It,” joined Susan Hauser, a Portland native who
has been writing for the Leisure & Arts page of “The Wall Street
Journal.”
Both writers read humorous exerpts from their columns and books.
“I suggest taking a tall friend and letting them walk first,” was a
line from Cody’s book, “Wild in the City” about how to deal with
the enormous amounts of spiders in the Northwest.
Hauser offered her own side comments about Cody’s freedom at
The Oregonian in her column, “When you get the freedom to write
whatever you want it’s like running around naked!” Susan also stat
ed that her column doesn’t hide the redneck reputation the West
Coast has in the East Coast.
“A lot of my writing reflects that we’re a little different,” said
Houser.