—----------- Feature
7
WEch^^y, M ay 1, 2002
T he C lackamas P rînt
In the spring, a
notebook isn’t just
for taking notes
bar
Marvin G. Baker
Guest Columnist
1
Isn’t strange how spring puts
people you’ve known all win
ter long in a whole new light? I
have several female friends on
campus, many of whom I have
known the better part of this
year, and, until recently, I was
pretty used to seeing them in
heavy sweaters or coats, all
toasty and bundled up with
scarves while we chatted over
coffee.
In many cases, I began tak
ing it for granted they were
women - which was fine back
in January when my brain could
compute, “Ice pretty, fire bad.”
Now that the sun, spaghetti
straps, bellybutton T’s and
sandals are coming out, that
critical reasoning skill has been
shot to hell.
I’m just going to come right
out and admit it: it’s becoming
more and more difficult to sit
across from one of my
“friends” and maintain casual
conversation when I’m really
dying to point at her chest and
ask whether or not those are
new. Don’t get all indignant on
me ladies, I’m not the only
pigman just waking up from a
nap. I’ve been watching the
otheAr guys to check myself,
and I’m not flying solo on this.
During the winter, most men
on campus were happy to slog
around with their backpacks
slung over a shoulder, eyes
downcast, seeking the driest
route to class. These days
they’ve got a folder strategi
cally clutched in one hand, and
the other hand is buried up to
the wrist in their pocket. Who
are you guys fooling? I’ve
never seen so many spiral note
book codpieces in my life.
Aside from the minor enter
tainment value, all this people
watching has paid off with a
new theory. Get ready to wrap
your minds around a paradox: I
propose that women are far
more farsighted - and logical -
about sex and relationships
than men are. Heresy, you re
ply? I say thee nay, so read
on, true believers.
I have noticed that men and
women catalogue the opposite
sex differently during the off
months. A guy will usually de
cide “Yea” or “Nay” pretty
quickly - “Nay” is almost al
ways comes within sight of
some other girl he thinks he
might have a better shot with -
and then he will try leaving a
back door in place with
spurned girl in case things
don’t work out. He’ll stick to
this plan, until, months later,
when the sleeper he ignored all
winter smiles at him from
across the top of her sun
glasses. An epiphany usually
follows.
Am I wrong here guys? That
woman has never looked bet
ter than she does in that mo
ment of clarity. Everything you
overlooked is right there in the
open, and you know with ev
ery fiber of your being you just
screwed the pooch. More of
ten than not, we are left to la
ment our decision when the
sleeper suddenly refuses to
give us the time of day strictly
on principle. This, by the way,
is where the term “foolish mor
tal” originated. This is also
why many men live to regret
tormenting their best friend’s
annoying little sister.
Conversely, women only de
cide for certain whether or not
they are going to sleep with
you in the near future. Beyond
that, everyone else gets
shuffled into categories based
on the degree of the likelihood
of sex occurring.
The categories range from “If-
the-lights-dim-for-any-reason”
to “There-isn’t-enough-alcohol-
on-the-planet.” If you’ve dis
missed her first, you may still be
on the list, but it’ll be somewhere
between the boy she used to
babysit and Urkel from “Family
Matters.”
This is where I would argue
that women are more logical and
farsighted in relationships; they
know better than to deal in ab
solutes. I don’t believe they dis
miss anyone completely out of
hand. There’s always qualifiers
to bail them out if they change
their minds: I’m older, he’s older,
he learned how to dress, he lost
weight, there’s not as much body
hair poking out from around the
collar of his shirt, etc....
Take it from someone who’s
learned the hard way, guys.
You will lose if you try hedg
ing your bets with every girl
who has potential.
As the saying goes, “One in
the hand is better than two in
the bush....” Come to think of
it, there is no way any man ever
made that up. Forget what I
just said. Stick with “Practice
makes perfect,” and you’ll be
fine.
To reach Marvin Baker e-mail
mbaker296@hotmail.com or
drop by B-104.
Meditate your stress away
• New meditation club offers increased awareness
SHADRA BEESLEY
Staff Writer
College students are a very
diverse group of individuals.
However, we all have one
thing in common: STRESS.
A group of students and a
philosophy instructor are
pulling together to help
Clackamas students with this
problem. I attended a meet
ing of the college’s Aware
ness Meditation Club after an
anxiety-inducing episode in
the biology lab and, after just
five minutes of meditation, left
feeling refreshed and posi
tive. That’s right, instant re
sults.
Shawna Pettigrew, the presi
dent of the club, admits that
“de-stress is the main ben
efit.” She wanted to create a
club to help* students deal
with personal issues, and she
knows from experience that
meditation is a useful tool.
Pettigrew presented Social
Science instuctor Randy
Thornton, who has been
teaching an introduction to
meditation for three years,
with the idea of the club, and
he was happy to lead the
group.
Thornton considers medita
tion a basic life skill. “It will
enrich anyone’s life,” he said.
“It works for me!” He hopes
that giving Clackamas stu
dents an on-campus location
to meditate will encourage
them to do so. He also hopes
to create a non-threatening
environment where newcom
ers will feel comfortable dis
covering and discussing medi
tation.
He admits that the club is an
experiment, but he is confident
the group will be helpful to
many people. He sees the club
MAGGIE JIRASEK / Clackamas Print
Instructor Randy Thornton (with back to camera) leads the
Awareness Meditation Club In a group started to help
students gain a life-enhancing skill. The club meets every
Monday and Friday at noon in M253.
as a starting point for stu
dents and hopes to refer
those who are interested in
continuing meditation to
other teachers who can en
hance the experience.
“Meditation is just learn
ing to do exactly one thing at
a time,” he said.
The club’s goal is to teach
students inner discipline and
the ability to concentrate by
blocking out distracting
thoughts and focusing on
what is happening at the mo
ment. Thornton asserts that
spending a few minutes a day
keeping your mind focused
leads to increased awareness
in daily life.
Pettigrew has observed
many positive changes in her
life due to her increased
awareness. She used to suf
fer from panic disorder, which
made it impossible for her to
speak to large groups.
However, since she has
started meditating she has
conquered her fear of public
speaking. Pettigrew firmly
believes that meditation al
lowed her to overcome her
chemical imbalance, adding,
“I can’t explain how it worksj
it just does.”
Pettigrew promises that
you will know immediately if
meditating is right for you.
She encourages students to
try it, and see how it affects
them.
Thornton agrees: “Unless
you actually do it, you will
never know.”
The Meditation Awareness
Club meets every Monday
and Friday at noon in
M253.
To reach Shadra Beesley e-
mail shadrab@hotmail.com or
drop by B-104.
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