4_
WedwEsdAy, ApRil 10, 2002
Feature
Dating season:
isn’t it time we
made the hunt
official?
complete with licensing re
quirements and tags. There is
already a government infra
structure in place that could
easily be modified to enforce
dating permits and eligibility.
Fish and Game for instance, al
though a name change might
be in order; we wouldn’t want
homosexual men and straights
Marvin Baker
to feel that lesbians and bond
Guest Columnist
age practitioners had prefer
ence for registration.
Here’s how it would work:
you simply fill out the applica
Let me be the first to offi tion with all the pertinent in
cially welcome you back to formation, take a physical,
Spring term. I myself had a psych test, and maybe an oral
frenzied little break, accom exam for compatibility (no pun
plished absolutely nothing of intended). After the screening
consequence, and gained back process and reference checks
five more pounds than the ten of previous relationships, you
I lost last term. Needless to would be issued a visible tag
say I’m kinda pissed about - possibly a wristband with
that, so I’m looking for some color-coded markings - and
body to take it out on. How’s officially registered as OTM,
that for a disclaimer.
On The Market. The regular
I’d like to call this piece the season would, of course, run
secret to successful dating. from May thru December, with
I’d like to, but I can’t. As I’ve lotteries for extra trolling privi
already pointed out in one of leges available for rebounders,
my classes last week, busy divorcees and winter birth
does not necessarily mean suc days.
cessful. Sad to say people, but
Think about it guys, if she
I’ve taken bad timing to new already has a boyfriend, this
highs, or lows, if you will. See information would be readily
if any of this sounds familiar available from across the room.
guys, “I’m sorry, I already have How about a nice fire engine
a boyfriend. Thanks for din red stripe for emotional insta
ner though...next time we bility? Maybe something re
should ALL do something to versible for those of you who
gether.” How about this one, swing both ways? Even the ex
“Does your friend so-and-so cess tag dangling from a guy’s
have a girlfriend?” Or my per bracelet could be a useful ref
sonal favorite, “How did you erence tool. Keep in mind this
get in here?” No, busy simply isn’t a perfect plan; I still
translates into tired, broke, haven’t figured out how to
and, in my case, heavier from prevent some jerk-off with a
all that restaurant food. So I’m pair of scissors from trimming
declaring a general strike down his competition, but I’m
against all things dating. I ex working on it
pect this to la«t until Elizabeth
To keep things equitable, we
Hurley loses touch with real would also be issued quick ref
ity and becomes exceedingly erence cards to discern some of
desperate, or at least until I fin the more exotic coding we’re
ish the Calvin and Hobbes an bound to eventually come
thology, whichever comes first. across. Want to know what that
I’m assuming most of you are rocket with the circle and slash
like me (except younger and on her tag means? There’d be
better looking with a flitter no guesswork involved. A quick
stomach, social skills and a check of the old reference card
car), and you’d like an easier would tell us guys to leave her
way to sort through potential alone. That’s not a rocket; you’d
dating prospects without the be wasting your time. When you
endless hours sifting through get sick of dating just exchange
their garbage or hiding in some the tag for a pint of Ben and
prickly shrub freezing your ass Jerry’s at the local Health Depart
off. I believe I may have such ment. If you change your mind
a solution, a solution that there’s always poaching.
would solve the problem for
To reach Marvin Baker e-mail
both sexes. What I propose is mbaker296@hotmail.com or
a regulated dating season, drop by B-104.
ThE
CL ac I camas P rint
Violence class Gift of Fear put off
until fall due to low enrollment
SHADRA BEESLEY
Staff Writer
Have you ever been in dan
ger and not known it? Have you
ever felt fear when you were not
actually in danger? The Gift of
Fear, a class that will be offered
Fall Term at Clackamas, ex
plores feelings of fear and the
causes of those feelings.
This class is designed to help
students understand the differ
ence between irrational fear and
fear based on real danger. This
class also studies violence, rea
sons people commit violent acts
and warning signs that people
are prone to violence. It is
based on the book “The Gift of
Fear” by Gavin de Becker.
David Campbell will be one
of the instructors teaching The
Gift of Fear. He has been a coun
selor at the college for 21 years,
and thinks that educating
people about fear and violence
is essential. The most important
reason to take this course is
“so people can protect them
selves against becoming the
victim of a violent act,” he said.
Campbell’s main concern is
helping women avoid violent
relationships.
Campbell will begin by pre
senting a brief history of violent
acts and explore the causes and
consequences of those acts. -The
rest of the class is dedicated to
studying the psychology, sci
ence and evolution of fear and
violence. It will touch on fears
linked to terrorist acts and how
to alleviate those fears.
The students and faculty at
Clackamas are not the only
people interested in this course.
Three weeks ago, KINK FM, a
Portland radio station, invited
Campbell and his co-instructor
Rosemary Jane-Craven to talk on
the air about the course.
The three credit class will be
listed under Human Development
and Leadership in the fall sched
ule. For more information, con
tact the counseling department
at (503) 657-6958 ext 2213.
To reach Shadra Beesley e-
mail heterodox@onebox.com or
drop by B-104.
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