4__________
WedNEsdAy, FebRUARy 20, 2002
Feature
The CI ac I íamas P rint
Careful, you never know who you're talking to
I’ve had a really strange week
so Mister Funny is taking a
break. Next week I promise to
return with another 550 words
carefully crafted to get
everyone’s undies in a twist.
Seriously, aside from a few flip
pant remarks, there are no
punch lines in today’s column.
Still with me? Great, then read
on.
I watched a guy - most defi
nitely not a student - picking
bottles from one of the recy
cling containers on campus
last week. During the five to
ten minutes he went about his
business, probably 20 people
walked by. Not a single person
issued any form of challenge
or made any move to interfere
or report him. He carefully
cleaned it out, replaced the lid
and moved on to another
building. Frankly, at the time, I
was impressed with the staff
and my fellow students. What
ruined it for me later was hear
ing a complaint that somebody
should have stopped him from
stealing from the school.
Personally, I don’t feel he
was stealing anything. If you
don’t agree, try getting your
deposit back the next time you rassment in the future. The
polish off a Pepsi purchased guy who writes this column
from the cafeteria. Better yet, was homeless just six short
pick up a pen or jump on your months ago. Not only that, he
keyboard and write me about used to dig through trashcans
it. With one exception: you looking for bottles. Had you
will never
convince
me that the
A s s o c i -
Marvin Baker
ated Stu
Guest
Columnist
dent Gov
ernment or
staff Xmas
party plan
ners would
have made better use of the met me last August, it’s pos
two to three bucks that guy sible this column you claim to
walked off with. You don’t love reading every week would
know he was going to spend it never have seen the light of
on booze or drugs any more day. You might have had me
than I know it was for his locked up for offending you
mother’s blood transfusion. with my lack of housing.
Let’s find out who the future
I don’t have the cure for
prosecuting attorneys are in homelessness; I wouldn’t
our midst.
know where to begin or even
The tone of those last sen how to explain how I made it
tences would be called ironic off the street myself. But I do
in English Lit. To the world at know when a student with a
large it’s simply known as sar sociology textbook in her arms
casm. In this vein I would like advocates arresting somebody
to offer two young ladies in for collecting bottles, we need
particular a bit of advice that to step back and define which
may save them some embar problem needs addressing first.
I’m telling you guys this be
cause I know from experience
he will be back. He’s found a
source of income, and if pos
sible he will visit every couple
of weeks to cash in.
I’m not just speaking to the
students. I haven’t heard any
derogatory remarks from staff
regarding Boxcar Willie, but I
know for a fact your students
are picking up the double stan
dard “In public we say this, in
private we say that.” This to
tally invalidates any real world
application of the virtue edu
cation is supposed to instill.
Once again, I will speak from
personal experience to make
my point.
I know some of you (staff)
don’t necessarily care for my ra
pier wit. Since I’m as old as
most of you and wear the big
boy pants and can go to the
bathroom by myself and every
thing, that’s not much of a con
sideration when I sit down in
front of the keyboard. I have
a friend who keeps telling me
if everybody likes it not
enough people are reading it.
Most of you would probably
agree. But think about this:
who are you hurting when you
espouse tolerance and progres
sive thought in class, then ad
vocate censorship during a Gen
eral Foods coffee moment with
one of your prodigies? I’m bet
ting that poor bastard digging
through the garbage feels the
backlash more often than any one
else.
I may seem like the last person
in the world you would expect to
speak out on the side of compas
sion, but I only poke fun at
people’s choices, not their misfor
tunes (the only exception to this
would be the enigma of estrogen -
sorry, can’t help myself). I remem
ber what it was like to be hope
less, desperate and invisible. For
tunately someone gave me a leg
up and I landed here. For those of
you who pride yourselves on pro
gressive thought, think about that
the next time you begin leaning to
wards, “out of sight, out of mind.”
This is a great school, and the
stafi/student mix is too complimen
tary for the perpetuation of the sta
tus quo - we can get hypocrisy
everywhere else.
To reach Marvin Baker e-mail
mbaker296@hotmail.com or
drop by B-104.
Online registration arrives at Clackamas
ELISABETH MEYER
.fiujynruer
Although spring registration is
still weeks away, there’s another
reason to get excited about
February 26: Clackamas’ long-
awaited online registration sys
tem is now available.
Returning students can ac
cess the web site to select, add
and drop classes. Other fea
tures include access to course
grades, transcripts, and finan
cial aid information. All previ
ous registration requirements
will still apply; after the first
week, students will have to
make in-person schedule
changes to full term classes.
Telephone and in-person
registration will still be avail
able, said Web Advisor Roni
Wilhelm.
Online registration has the
convenience of telephone
registration and the comfort
of seeing what you’re doing,
said Wilhelm.
“The phone system can be
kind of disembodied; a lot of
people like to see (their
schedules) in front of them.
This way, they can just print
them out when they’re done.”
Besides, Wilhelm added, the
quirks of the phone system are
eliminated.
“It’s kind of like: (in a phone
voice) ‘press one
now,’ you know what
I mean?” she said.
“And anytime you
have an automated
system, people can
get frustrated. If you
are on too long, it
kicks you off. The
students who use
telephone registration and love it
always will, and that’s fine.”
Previously, online registration
was used when signing up for
workshop-type classes that only
last a weekend such as stress
management or the fruit - grow
ing seminar. But the conve
nience of the new sys
tem will gradually
transform how stu
dents access classes,
said Ariane Amstutz,
a registrar.
“It’s going to
take a while for ev
eryone to know
about it, and for
people to get comfortable us
ing it,” she said. “But by (sum
mer) term, we should see
shorter lines (in the Commu-
nity Center).”
The admistrative folks expect
things to go well.
“We’ve done a lot of test
ing,” Wilhelm said. During
winter term, two groups of stu
dents successful accessed the
system, as well as Registrar
office employees and faculty.
“If you’re familiar with the web,
it’s a relatively simple process.”
“I think it’ll be a smooth tran
sition,” Amstutz agreed.
“People our age are pretty fa
miliar with the web.”
To reach Elisabeth Meyer e-mail
hereswhatimthinkin@hotmaiLcom
or drop by B-104.
Hrs: Mon.-Thurs.-7a.m.-6:30p.m.; Fri.- 7a.m.-2p.m; Sat-8:30a.m.-10:30p.m.
Wednesdav-Budget: Cheese enchi ladas w/ rice
Special: Shrimp scampi
Grill: Tuna melt w/jo jo potatoes
Thursday- Budget: Vegetable fried rice
Special: Chicken jambalaya w/ rice
Grill: Muffuletta sandwich w/ a small salad
Friday-
Budget: Falafel & hummus Dita
Special: Chicken fried steak w/ mashed
potatoes, gravy & vegetables
Grill:
Blue cheese bacon burger & jo jo
pOldlOvS
/ Special
/ Oriental
/ chicken w/
\
\
noodles,
lettuce, tomato
&julienne
\
vegetables
/
\
$4.00
/
\3:300:30pm /
i
11
■ FINE HOST I
J^CORPORATlO^j I