WedNEsdAy, FebRUARy 6, 2002
Feature
5
TI he ClAckAMAs P rint
Stereotyping: the PBS’ Roger Swain energies
great American vegetable symposium
spectator sport
ELISABETH MEYER
Staff Writer
I need to clear up a little mis
understanding between myself
and some of the ladies out
there: It’s come to my attention
that some think I am a chauvin
istic, unenlightened pig who
derides women to make up for
Marvin Baker
Guest Columnist
his own inadequacies. Noth
ing could be further from the
truth, so I’d like to set your
pretty little heads at ease. For
starters, my favorite TV show,
“Buffy the Vampire Slayer,”
stars a woman. Maxim—my fa
vorite magazine—is dedicated
towomen. I even have a “Gloria
Steinem for Playmate of the
Year” T-shirt somewhere (al
though I think one of my ex
girlfriends may have swiped it).
Hell, my ex-wife is a woman, in
a cute she-demon sort of way.
And another thing...
Okay, so I’m joking about a
couple of things, but believe it
or not, I have a point. This
week I wish to honor the art of
stereotyping—quite possibly
one of the greatest spectator
sports in society. Who can
keep a straight face when you
see a 4x4 with a rebel flag hang
ing from the antenna, espe
cially if “Back in Black” is
blasting from the windows?
How about tennis balls
wedged in behind the gun
rack? Skoal ring worn into the
back pocket? Or my personal
favorite, the McDonald’s uni
form and blood red, two- inch
Lee Press-ons combo?
I think psychologists have a
pretty sweet deal when it comes
to stereotyping. People show
up on their doorsteps asking
for it. They have a manual full
of enough alarming terminol
ogy to frighten the Joint Chiefs
of Staff, and when it’s all said
and done they get paid. Don’t
try this at home boys and girls:
“So Doc, what do you think?”
The reply: “Well Mister Baker,
this isn’t about labels or pi
geonholing anyone, but ac
cording to my notes you are a
narcissistic personality with
cucumber envy marked by de
grees of verbal flatulence—in
short you’re an arrogant big
mouth who can’t keep his opin
ions to himself—shall I type
that up for you?” Now that’s a
professional
artist
at
work.
I my
self don’t
have
a
manual and
Quick Books
for billing
purposes,
but I like to do what I can to
help out whenever possible. To
this end I’ve done a little cata
loguing of my own because,
frankly, we can’t always see
ourselves as others see us. If
you fit any of the following I
am truly sorry:
Thesauryass: loud mouth.
Known for intentionally sub
stituting one similar sounding
word for another to punctuate
his derision (“I’m never going
back to that tavern, they have
that damn teriyaki singing ev
ery night...”). Loves anything
that strays into his neck of the
woods.
Sony Bono: owns every hi-
tech audio/visual component
known to man. Known for his
PDA, HDTV, DVD, VCR, DTS,
THX, UNIX, CPA, STD, MNBA
and BMW. Loves porn since
he’s too strapped to date.
Y2quaker: speed freak with
Internet access. Known for
dismantling anything that can
be broken down into more
pieces. Only intact object in
his home is the computer (but
the case is missing). Loves
www.gatesisabitch.com.
Green piece: first-time female
crewmember on a global Save-
the-Whales cruise. Known for
boycotting tuna. Loves Keiko.
Rubber maid: veteran female
crewmember on a global Save-
the-Whales cruise. Known for
freeing Willy at the drop of a
hat. Loves tuna.
That’s it for now. If they’re
still letting me do this come
next week, I’ll be delving into
the hypocrisy of men and why
we think our own daughters are
beyond corrupting, while every
other woman on this planet is
fair game.
WANT TO VENT TO
10,000 PEOPLE?
Submit a Letter to
the Editor B104
Saturday’s Vegetable Gardening
Symposium drew about 300 people.
They were attracted by the reputa
tion of the speakers and the chance
to talk with other gardeners.
Roger Swain, host of PBS’s “The
Victory Garden” and science edi
tor at Horticulture magazine,
headed this year’s lineup, which
also included more locally known
folks.
Other presenters included Polly
Gottesmann, who runs a commu
nity-supported agriculture farm in
North Plains, Suzanne Ashworth,
curator of Seed Saver Exchange,
and Lynn Miller, a Sisters-area man
who uses draft horses to farm.
The beginning of the gardening
season coincides with the sympo
sium well, says Bruce Nelson, a
Horticulture dept instructor.
“People are wired; they want to get
back into the garden."- 4
Most of the people who attend
the day-long seminar aren’t gar
deners by trade, said Nelson. He
estimates that only about 5 percent
of attendees actually depend on
farming for their livelihood. “These
are recreational vegetable garden
ers,” he said. “And nationwide,
gardening is the number-one
hobby.”
Still, the symposium is more than
a light-hearted tip-swap session.
Swain addressed many hot issues
in agriculture at the symposium and
in a special session with horticul-
Disabled
Student
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ture students on Fri
day. In a question-
and-answer time he
called “the psychic
gardeners’ hotline,”
he fielded controver
sial and often very
political queries
about genetic engi
neering, biodynamic
farming, hydropon
ics, population con
trol and sustainable
agriculture.
The symposium’s
appeal is the combi
nation of practical
advice and ecological
and political aware
ness. Nelson esti
mates that one-third
to one-half of the at Roger Swain and assorted gardeners chat
tendees have previ during lunch. The balmy weather drew
ously taken the sym many outside.
posium.
Swain’s vibrant personality dur between significant risks and petty
ing the informal Friday talk also set issues.
“One of the things I indulge in
the tone for Saturday. During the
panel presentation, when audience is going around the country talk
members asked all four speakers ing about things that have noth
gardening questions, his no-non ing to do with gardening,” he ex
sense style dominated the discus plained. “One of those is popula
sion. When asked to comment on tion control.”
While he warmed to the topic,
a doctor’s advice against eating
food grown hear a highway, Swain though, Swain has hope that the
replied, “I don’t know where I’d population boom won’t destroy
go on this planet to be free of the the feasibility of small-time veg
backwash of civilization. Let’s etable production. He commented,
all...take naps, wear stretchy “I don’t think it’s useful to be pes
clothing, shoes that fit, and lighten simistic... Gardening is about
people tending plants. Gardens
up, okay?”
Swain stressed the difference make good neighbors.”
Clackamas Community College
Disabled Student Services
19600 S. Molalla Avenue
Oregon City, OR 97045
Disability Non-discrimination Policy
Clackamas Community College does not discriminate on the basis of race,
color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, marital status, age, national
origin, disability, family relationship or any other protected status in
accordance with applicable law. The college's commitment to non-dis-
crimination applies to curricular activity and all aspects of operation of the
college.
Clackamas Community College is specifically dedicated to
providing a harassment free environment for all people with
disabilities, as well as a timely and effective provision of services of
students with disabilities.
______ _____
Grievance Procedure________________
If you experience any harassment: Contact the Director of Disabled
Student Services
If you do not receive required accomodations: Contact the Director of
Disabled Student Services
If the above two procedures are not satisfactory: Contact the Associate
Dean of Student Services
Note: Any disabled student is free at any time to submit a complaint to the Office for Civil
Rights.______________
Persons to contact: 2001-2002
Associate Dean of Student Services
Director of Disabled Student Services
Jan Godfrey
BillZuelke
503-657-6958 ext. 2552TTY/TDD Same
CC119
email: jang@clackamas.cc.or.us
503-657-6958 ext.2268 TTY/TDD503-650-6649
email: billz@clackamas.cc.or.us
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