The student newspaper of Planet C/aèkâmàs
CLACKAMAS WORLD NEWS
Wednesday, January 5,2000
Clackamas Community College
Oregon City, Oregon
Volume CXIX, Issue 99
Time to rebuild
KARL KATZKE / Clackamas World News
The Clackamas Community College sign on Beavercreek Road (Near Clairmont), exploded at 12:00 a.m. on New Year's morning. Apparently, the brick sign was not made
Y2K compliant and burst when its internal clock read double-zeroes as the year changed from 1999 to 2000. No decisions have been made about the reconstruction of
the sign, according to Peter Angstadt, Dean of College Services, but the Information Technology Services' insurance will be paying for the reconstruction.
New Year’s party crashed, 4 dead
chard Whacker, Oregon’s repre
sentative from the Department of
Defense. White House officials
have declined to comment on the
Four students died and three possibility of more alien attacks.
were severely injured when an
Thousands of people called TV
alien aircraft destroyed the and radio stations around the U.S.
Haggart Observatory late New to complain about the interruption
Year’s Eve.
by the Emergency Broadcast Sys
Students were
tem.
holding a New
“I was watching the
Year’s Eve party at
countdown when this
the observatory
stupid buzzing noise
when an alien air
came on my TV,” said
We believe it's
craft attacked, de
Estacada resident
stroying the obser
an attempt to
Benjamin Dover. “I
vatory with what
thought it was a joke
hide their
witnesses said ap
when they said that
numbers...
peared to be a giant
aliens had just at
laser. Similar attacks
tacked.”.
were
reported
Students Albert
around the nation at
Kohol,
19, and
Richard Whacker
all major observato
Beatrice Tauff, 22,
U.S. Army
ries and telescopic
were in critical condi
and radioscopic fa
tion at Willamette Falls
cilities.
Hospital
Sunday
“We believe it’s an attempt to night. Michael Hunt, 20, lost his
hide their numbers in the forthcom leg in the explosion, but was re
ing attack,” said Major General Ri ported to be in stable condition.
ANGIE DASCHEL / Clackamas World News
Bodies of dead students lay strewn below the Haggart
Observatory after an apparent attack by extra-terrestrial beings.
No charges had been filed at press time.
Missing
students
recovered
M SALENADFL
TIMOTHY A. BEU. I Clackamas World News
Tim Bell snapped this shot of the alien ship milliseconds before its
attack on the Haggart Observatory that left 4 students dead.
Timothy Bell, 20, was released with
minor injuries. Students Ivana C.
Muncher, 21, Harold Cummings,
20, Matthew Herbater, 23 and Jack
Mehopf, 47, were the only names
among the dead released at press
time.
“This is the most devastating
moment of my life,” said German
International student Guden
Taught, 19.
She explained how she was hold
ing boyfriend Herbater's hand at
the time of the attack. Taught was
knocked unconscious from the ex
plosion. When she awoke she was
still clutching Herbater’s body-less
hand.
Bell was taking pictures of the
party and witnessed the entire at
tack.
“I raised my camera to take a pic
ture and out of nowhere came a
big disk with a bunch of flashing
lights of different colors,” ex
plained Bell. “I got excited and
clicked a few pictures, when all of
sudden this huge laser beam came
from the ship, blowing the obser
vatory to bits. Al and Bee were
walking toward me to get out of
the picture— that just may have
saved their lives.”
Counselors will be available in the
Community Center for those stu
dents who need help dealing with
the stress of their lost companions.
Christian, Wicca, Muslim, Pagan
and Scientology-affiliated stu
dents will meet tomorrow at noon
in room M214 for a moment of si
lence for the deceased.
R. £
The bodies of 23 students re
ported missing during the last
month turned up under
Clackamas’ sewer system Friday.
Three students still alive were
taken to Willamette Falls Hospi
tal suffering only minor injuries.
“I’m just so glad it’s over,” said
Oregon City Police Chief Jon
Smith.
After thoroughly investigat
ing the disappearances that be
gan in early November, with the
most recent just last week, po
lice brought in world-renowned
psychic Sarina Mati. She has
located missing children
throughout the world. Mati gave
police clues that led them in
circles. Finally she said, “You
are looking for something that is
right underneath you.”
The Clackamas Print sent
out the Wonder Woman beacon
in hopes she could help solve
the problem. With Wonder
Woman’s Lasso of Truth they
helped locate plans to a cave hid
den under Clackamas that con
nected to the sewer system. Be
low ground, with Wonder
Woman leading the way, The
Print Staff and police were able
to locate the missing students.
However, they also found some-
See Wonder Woman, page 21