Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (March 10, 1993)
Wednesday, March 10, 1993 1 ........ // /'"'..... T...... JT CdLLUJLO The Cl^fcnmas Print Pg. 5 Cowan reunites with children after 38 years by Melissa Freels Co-Editor-in-Chief When Virginia Cowan left Oklahoma in the 1950s, she also left something else behind... her two infant children. “When I left there, I knew I’d never see them again,” she explained. But Virginia — most often called Ginny-was wrong. After 38 years, Ginny, who is a former CCC student, was reunited with her children. To understand Ginny’s story, one must turn the clock back to 1931, the year that she was bom. During Ginny’s first few years of life “the Depression was in full swing,” she said. Her family led a turbulent lifestyle, moving from state to state as her father went from job to job. When Ginny was 10, her family moved to Neah Bay, Wash. She describes this time, spent with her younger sister and two younger brothers, as “a magic time.” She remembers spending time at the beach. She remembers the double dares that she and her peers shared - swinging from a rope on a tree near the train tracks, and the daring part being that “you had to swing out over the train and back,” Ginny explained. Ginny also recalls the time that the family spent together. Her father “could be a lot of fun. He’d come out in the kitchen and he’d tap dance and get us all tap dancing - and man he could dance. He was a pleasant man,” she said. But Ginny’s world was not always “magic” and her father was not always “pleasant.” According to Ginny, her world turned dark and terrible “after I went to bed, or when I was left alone with him (heir father) or when he could isolate me.” When Ginny was 6 years old, her father began sexually abus ing her. “My father said he would kill my mother and my little sis ter if I ever told what he was doing to me. I believed him,” Ginny said. “And; I thought as the other children came, and I was still hiding this horrible se taurant in Milwaukie. “I see this girl coming toward me ... and she’s got the prettiest face,” Ginny said. Michelle was accompanied by her daughter, and they stayed at Ginny’s apartment for the weekend. “That was a crying week end,” said Ginny. In fact, Ginny describes the weekend as one of emotion. “We didn’t really get any talking done,” she said. The emotions they ex perienced were overwhelming. Ginny hasn’t seen her son yet. > That reunion will entail a trip to Oklahoma. But Ginny has spoken to James - who calls her Mommy Ginny — on the phone and has received a letter from him. She has also received let ters from her grandsons. According to Ginny, her children show no bitterness to ward her. The woman who raised Michelle and James “was very good about me,” said Ginny. photo by Melissa Freels Virginia Cowan, a former CCC student, was recently reunited with her daughter Michelle after a 38 year separation. She has located her son James in Oklahoma and a reunion is being planned. She is still searching for Shanna Marie and Dorothy Lee, who she gave up for adoption many years ago. Ginny never confronted her mother during those 11 years. Her mother, she explained, “was a very cold woman.” Ginny can’t recall ever being hugged by her mother. Ginny’s mother told her that she was ugly, clumsy and stupid. “She never said she loved me,” Ginny said. At 17, Ginny finally turned her father in. He was sent to a penitentiary. “Mother said it (the sexual abuse) was all my fault,” Ginny said. Ginny’s parents divorced and Ginny began working. She had hoped to attend Juilliard to study music, but her grades weren’t good enough. Eventually Ginny met Guy “Jim” Peery and they were mar ried. Later, she would realize that this was “a large mistake... (I) got some beautiful kids out of it, that’s all.” she said. In 1950, Ginny gave birth to "My father said he would kill my mother and my little sister if I ever told what he was doing to me. I believed him." cret, that I’m keeping him from bothering the other children.” The incest continued for 11 years, until Ginny was 17. Throughout those years, Ginny said, ‘“protect’ seems to be toe major word. You try to protect everybody and you can’t do it.” Ginny was trying to find a way to save herself and protect her sister and brothers, too. “I had a very solitary child hood,” she explained. “I figured toe kids (at school) all knew what was going on... they didn’t, but you (victims of sexual abuse) figure you’ve got a sign on your back, or you look different” Ginny remembers that she even began getting streaks of white in her hair during her teen years. James — who she calls Jimmy. And, in 1952 she had a girl named Michelle - who she calls Mickey. By 1953, however, Ginny’s mar riage to Jim had become rocky. Jim suggested that Ginny take a break and relax. So she went to Denver, Utah to visit her family. Two weeks later she arrived back in Oklahoma and found that things had really changed. The door was bolted and Jim wouldn’t let her in toe house. He told her that he had filed for divorce on toe grounds of desertion. He even had a restraining order against her. So, Ginny said “good-bye” to her children. “I just told them I loved them and for them not to forget that,” she explained. Before Ginny left Oklahoma, however, she went to a public rest room and made seveial at tempts at suicide. “I was totally without hope,” she stud. Ginny took a bottle of barbiturates, tried to slash her wrists and tried to hang herself - nothing worked. “My Lord was taking care of me,” she said. Ginny’s husband came and picked her up at the hospital. He drove her to his lawyer’s office where he forced her to sign di vorce papers. Before they were married, Ginny had told Jim that she had been sexually abused by her father. Now he was using that against her. “He told me that he would use my incest as a means that I am an unfit mother,” Ginny ex plained. Ginny only saw her son and daughter one more time. But, by that time, her children were being raised by Jim’s second wife. The situation was confusing and awkward, Ginny had to leave. She returned to Denver and began a new life. In Denver, Ginny had two more children. As a single parent on welfare, she had a tough decision to make. She decided to give her two daugh ters, Shanna Marie and Dorothy Lee, up for adoption, hoping that they’d be placed in a family to gether and would be raised as sisters. Later, Ginny met and mar ried Dwayne Cowan. They hada daughter named Jennifer, who is now 26. Ginny and Dwayne divorcedin 1980, and Ginny took up residence in Milwaukie, Ore. Although Ginny had moved on with her life, she always thought about toe children she left be hind. Finally, after years of wondering, Ginny’s friends en couraged her to find them. In January, she called Seekers of toe Lost, a Vancouver, Wash.,- based business, to help find her children. They had no luck find ing any of toe children, but were able to locate Ginny’s ex-hus band Jim in Oklahoma. It took some courage, but Ginny made the call to the man who separated her and her children 38 years ago. Surprisingly, Jim was respon “Michelle said she always told the kids that I loved them and I did what I did for their own good,” she said. Michelle even had some “mementos” of Ginny. For in stance, she saved one of Ginny’s high school yearbooks that Ginny had left behind. She even saved a taped version of a record that Ginny had made for the children. Ginny, 62, is still looking for Shanna Marie and Dorothy Lee, the two girls she put up for adop "He told me that he would use my incest as a means that I am an unfit mother." sive and told Ginny how to reach her children. Ironically, her daughter Michelle is living in Eugene, Ore. — approximately 120 miles from Ginny. Michelle has a 9-year-old daughter named Danielle and a 16-year-old son named Christopher. Ginny’s son James lives in Oklahoma and has three sons, 21-year-old Guy, 19- year-old Eric, and 17-year-old James. On February 6, Ginny was reunited with Michelle at a res tion. Although it may take time, she is determined to find them. “I figure to live to 102,” she said. She says that under the same circumstances, she would still put them up for adoption. “I don’t feel guilty anymore. I did what I had to do,” Ginny said. But Ginny needs the satis faction of knowing that things turned out all right. “I won’t be happy with myself until I know that they have a good family,” she concluded. Top jazz musician performs at CCC continued from page 1 Right MomesTm >985, asd ^‘T^eMeW¥ourDir^Min m . In 1987 Grant recorded the first of two ehart-topping •¿ilbuisi^ f6r-’;P^A: kedords.; “Night Charade” held the. number one position for three straight weeks on ths ?Radio & Records’* jazz Chart, and reached the top 20 on the ‘BiQbOard^Cbniemporatyfezz Chart. That was followed by the 1988 release of “Mango Tango,” which ., topped the ‘R.adto&Records” Jazz Chart fcr two weeks, as well as reaclF ing number nine on toe “Bill- board” Jazz (Start. Tickets fortheTbmGrant /''¿S' ' conceit can tepuréhà^id/at thcSidde^-ActivitfeiOffice in toeCommuhity Céhtei^ or dent ^Go^^meät ^ic^:or cost is $10 for reserved, $7 for general ad- mission, $5 for CCC students and $3 oMidrim T^.n^in8MtJation,caB657- Tom Grant Where: Gregory Forum When: Thursday, April 1,7 to 9 p.m. Admission: $10 Reserve, $7 General, $5 Students/Senior Citizens, $3 Children under 12
