EDITORIAL
Page 4
October 23,1991
Rape can happen to anyone; no one deserves it
by NolanKidwell
Feature Editor
Margaret has gone out on dates
with Mike a couple of times. She is
fairly attractive and very sociable.
One evening the two of them de
cided to go out to dinner and to see
a movie together. As the evening
progresses, the two of them be
come fairly affectionate. The magic
moment arrives when they kiss each
other for the first time. However,
this is as far as Margaret feels
comfortable letting things go for
the evening. Mike doesn’t see the
situation the same. He feels that he
“deserves more.” He has bought
her an expensive dinner and paid
for a movie. She has kissed him
which he feels is an invitation for
something else, and he is going to
pursue this.
This is a v<
situ-
ation,but itisafairly
common
hap-
it is a fairly
common
hap crimes, penraps worse than mur-
pening. Although it shouldn’t be.
I have to be very honest when
I say that, I like girls. I like the way
they look, smell, and how a lot of
them act.
I also however feel that they
should be treated with the utmost
respect. I would never purposely
make someone of the opposite
gender feel uncomfortable about
the fact that I am a guy. It is kind of
the ’golden rule’ thing.
Respect becomes even more
important though when males and
females are together in a more inti
mate situation like a date. Statis
tics vary, but it is estimated that
about two-thirds of all rape cases in
America are committed by some
one that .the victim knows, either
personally or on a social basis.
To me. raDe is one of the worst
der, because the victim has to live
with the crime. Rape is not a crime
of passion, but a violation of the
emotions and an over-powering of
the body.
It is estimated that one out of
every four females and one out of
every seven males are sexually
abused before they are 18 years
old.
Dating is fun, in most cases.-It
fulfills the need for human affec
tion with someone of the opposite
gender; it is a socially acceptable
way to find someone with compat
ible views; and it makes it possible
to get to know that person.
The problem is that often dat
ing is associated with sex, and some
people expect that out of a date.
This is wrong.
ivesex,
and everyone should have the choice
to say no.
Likewise, it is wrong for any
one of us to say that someone was
asking for sex because he or she
looks nice of inviting. Consent is
not made when someone gets dressed
in the morning, whether they are
wearing a suit and a tie or a short
skirt.
There is a point in all relation
ships, whether it be an evening at
the movies or a steady relationship,
that everyone has the right to say
“that’s enough.”
Thekey is respect. Either party
in a relationship can push things
past the other’s comfort zone.
Everyone sets different moral and
physical parameters for sex, and
these should be respected. Some
people’s boundaries are more per
missive than others.
I would
I would
implore
implore
victims
victims of this
crime to come forward. The of
fenders of these violations should
not go free, and the victims should
receive help.
I feel that it is even more
important, though, for those who
have not been raped or are poten
tially vulnerable, to know what to
do if they find themselves in a such
a situation. It can happen to any
one. Don’t think “It won’t happen
to me.”
Classes are available pn self
defense both here on campus and in
the local community. The classes
on campus deal specifically with
date rape as well as other physical
attacks.
For more information about on
campus classes offered, contact Jim
Jackson at Ext. 2292.
Students affected by rape tell their stories
that affects a lifetime
Night of terror leaves scars Rape, a memory
me when I couldn’t fight back. He
by tfANN”
A Clackamas Student
Rape is a common word that’s not talked about a lot Everyone
thinks it will never happen to them.' I thought the same way, until I was
raped. I was a normal high school senior, until prom night. Let me tell
you the story.
Prom night started out just like I had wanted it to. I had a great time
with my date. He was my best friend and he had driven all the way from
California to take me. We went to the prom and had a lot of fun dancing
and we were looking forward to the party at my house afterward.
My mom doesn’t condone teenage drinking but she figures that if
we’re going to drink she’drather wediditat home in front of her instead
of out where we could get into a lot of trouble.
My date and I and the couple we went to the prom with arrived at my
home and there were already people waiting for us there. We started
drinking, socializing and really having a great time until I drank too
much. I was so drunk, I couldn’t even walkbymyself, so my mom took
me downstairs to my room and put me onto the bed. I guess I basically
passed out.
A little while later my date came in and passed out next to me.
Everyone was still upstairs having a good time. Of course word had
gotten around about the party so there were people there who weren’t
invited. People kept coming down to my room all night long and waking
me. One of the uninvited people was “Fred”. He must have thought I
was an easy target, or who knows what he was thinking, but he locked
himself in my room and proceeded to take off all my clothes, then raped
me. I wasn’t even conscious.
My girlfriend was upstairs and after a while she began to wonder
where “Fred” had disappeared to. She went down to my room and
couldn’t get the door to open. She then got my brother and he picked the
lock. When she went in “Fred” was standing there and he told her he’d
just come in and found me that way. He then tried to put the blame of
my still naked body on that of my date. My friend got him to leave and
she put my clothes back on me and left.
The hard thing is I can remember all of it. I heard it all and knew
what was going on, I just couldn’t open my eyes or move;
After about an hour I awoke and went upstairs. Everyone was either
gone or asleep, except my brother who was still up. My brother could
tell that I was upset and afraid so he gave me his room, while he slept on
the floor in the doorway.
“"The next day was ahard one, but I thought I could get over it. I told
my mom, then proceeded to very thoroughly clean my room. Next I
took a long hot shower trying desperately to get myself clean, but I still
felt so dirty. I also thought that mentally I was okay.
Monday morning at school I thought I could handle it too. But as
soon as I saw “Fred” I couldn’t stand to see the way he so coolly acted
like nothing ever happened. I confided in a close teacher and she imme
diately set up an appointment for me at a rape crisis center. I took a girl
friend with me and went to the crisis center.
The lady at the crisis center was very understanding and explained
to me how to press charges. I thought longhand hard and still do, whether
or not I should have followed through. I chose not to because there was
no real evidence. I had cleansed myself and my sheets, my mom would
get in trouble for letting teenagers drink and also I don’t think anyone
would find my drunk friends credible. I didn’t want the whole world to
find out about it and since graduation was only a month a way I didn’t
want to ruin graduation. It also didn’t help that “Fred’s” dad is an
attorney.
So I decided against it. I did tell close friends and word got around
to “Fred.” His reply was that we were just laying there talking and one
thing led to another. At least in a way he does admit that it did happen.
It has been quite awhile since all of that happened. Through coun
seling I have grown and learned a lot from the experience. I just hope
“Fred” enjoys living with his guilt.
by “USA”
A Clackamas Student
I was raped when I was 12
years old. Since then I have battled
with confusion, fear, anger, and
now rage. For years I blamed myself
for something I never did, but in
stead was done to me. At that time,
1 didn’t understand that. Every
time I turned around I was scared to
death it would happen again. I
didn’t know what I did to deserve
what I got.
•It wasn’t until later, a while
later, that the same person who
raped me, raped another girl. That
girl took hiift to court. But justice
did not prevail. He was released
six months later on “good” behav
ior. Today he roams the same
streets that I roam and there is not a
damn thing I can do about it. Ac
cording to the law, as I understand
it, he has served his sentence and
can not be retried or re-sentenced
until he does it again.
I see him on the street once or
twice a week. I feel like killing
him. That-------forced himself on
caused me pain and torment that
has and will affect me for years.
I still have difficulty when
dating guys. I’m so scared. It’s
difficult to trust anyone anymore.
He has stolen something that I have
held very precious. Emotionally it
is very difficult to carry on some
semblance of a relationship with a
male.
"Everyday / have to
think about him and
what he did to me. "
Still, to this day I break down
in hysterics. But he won’t get my
dignity—he won’t win this match!
At least, that is what I keep telling
myself, but sometimes I wonder if
he stole that too!
Everyday I have to think about
him and what he did to me. The
least little thing will throw me back
into a cycle of depression and guilt
that I don’t know how to stop. The
rape didn’t only affect my life, but
the lives of my family and boy
friends, too.
When I finally broke down
and told my boyfriend, he wanted
to kill “him.” I know that, for my
boyfriend, the knowledge that some
creep violated me was very diffi
cult to handle. It still comes up
daily in our relationship.
I have taken some defense
classes that have taught me how to
kill to protect myself. Sometimes
when I see “him,” I feel like using
those specialized techniques.
In my opinion, he has not paid
for his crime yet, but I don’t know
of a proper punishment for such a
violent act. To me, death is TOO
painless! It was not an act of SEX,
but of SICK VIOLENCE.
I know that if I still have guilt
for some violent crime that was
done to me, I can only imagine how
much guilt he must have.
Still, to this day, I look over
my shoulder. All I can say is he had
better do the same because I truly
believe that he will get what is
coming to him.
An open letter to a rapist
'May God have convinced
mercy
on you if I find you'
her itwould be quicker constantly afraid not wanting ei
by "JIM- a Clackamas student
Almost one year ago you came
into my life and shattered my dreams
and the dreams of the woman I
loved.
Many, many times I have
thought about what I could have
done to prevent you from raping
the woman that I hoped to marry
someday. I kept on thinking that I
should have picked her up from her
house to share Thanksgiving with
her. But she lived way out in Port
land and I didn’t have the time ar
gasoline to travel out to get her. So
instead she decided to have Thanks
giving with her grandparents.
Before her dinner she decided
to take a walk with one of her
friends. It soon became dark, though,
and it was getting cold.- Her friend
decided to get a ride home from a
couple guys that offered them one.
You should remember, you were
one of the guys. My fiance (yes we
were engaged, and we even had a
date set for our wedding) didn’t
really like the idea of getting into a
car with two strange guys, but they
seemed nice enough. Besides it
was cold and dark. Her friend
quicker
and safer to get a ride home.
Now let me ask you this, is this
when you pulled the gun on her, or
was it in the abandoned house, the
place where you raped my girl
friend and your friend raped the
other girl? You and your buddy
threatened those girls with their
lives if they didn’t have sex with
you. Did that make you feel like a
man? Did you feel a sense of
power? Do you realize the amount
of damage you did to her? or me?
"I will never really be
able to rest until I know
that you and your
friend have paid for
your crimes."
After I found out what hap
pened, I was so angry. I was angry
with myself for not being there for
her. I felt so helpless, there was
nothing I could do or say to change
what you did. You Bastard! You
changed my wife to be from a gal
with a constant light and happiness
in her soul to. a woman that was
constantly afraid, not wanting ever
to be touched, not even by me. You
not only stole her from me, but you
also stole the future we had plan ned
together.
I have only talked to her once
or twice since it has happened, and
each time neither of us could look
the other in the eyes. We broke off
our engagement and we have stopped
talking to each other. I haven’t
seen or heard from her since Febru
ary.
Ever since, I have tried dating
other girls, but nothing seems to
work out. I’m too overprotective, I
can’t let a girl I care about out of
my sight and not wony about her. I
call too much and I’m always around
them too much. Someday I’ll have
the confidence to leave a girlfriend
alone.
If you are out there, and you
are reading this, I want you to know
that if I ever find you, I’ll kill you.
I will never really be able to rest
until I know that you and your
friend have paid for your crimes.
The only proper punishment for
people like you is death. May God
have mercy on you if I find you.