Column as we see ’em
’88
Predictions
by E. A. Berg
Co-News Editor
During one of the several icy
days over Christmas break that
left me stranded with nothing to
do but play with my new toys or
irritate my younger sister, I decid
ed to sit down with a cup of hot
chocolate and write down my
predictions for 1988. What
started out as serious, soon turn
ed silly. Here they are, E.A.
Berg’s First (and probably last)
Annual New Year’s Predictions:
Sen. Paul Simon of Illinois will
be the Democratic nominee for
president. To balance out the
ticket with someone more conser
vative, Sen. Al Gore of Tennessee
will be his running mate.
Vice President George Bush
will be the Republican nominee.
To balance out the ticket with so
meone more conservative, Rep.
Jack Kemp of New York will be
his running mate.
Simon will narrowly be elected
the next President of the United
States.
Oregon
Gov.
Neil
Goldschmidt will be mentioned
as a possible Democratic vice
presidential nominee.
The College will pass a proper
ty tax levy in March.
Fawn Hall will sell out and do
a trashy photo layout or promote
a product. Her former boss,
Marine Corps Lt. Col. Oliver
North, will be convicted of
something and be pardoned by
President Reagan.
Reagan will continue to forget
things.
The Democrats will continue
to control both chambers of Con
gress.
The Democrats will lose con
trol of the Oregon House of
Representatives. They will,
however, continue to control the
state senate.
The AIDS epidemic will
worsen.
The national debt will continue
to rise.
Gary Hart will drop out of the
presidential race after Super
Tuesday.
The Senate will ratify the most
recent superpower arms control
agreement with some minor
amendments.
Oregon voters will reject
another marijuana initiative. The
same voters will fail to support a
common proposal to do
something about school finance.
Right-wing Republican Sens.
Orin Hatch of Utah and Jesse
Helms of North Carolina won’t
shut up.
Former President Richard Nix
on will write another book that
won’t get on a best seller list.
William Kennedy will be con
firmed by the Senate as a
Supreme Court Justice.
The Pope won’t do another
US Tour.
U2 will continue to be the
best rock’n’roll band in the
world.
The Dharma Bums . will
emerge as the Portland areas
best rock’n’roll band.
John (please don’t call me
“Cougar”) Mellencamp will
replace Bruce Springsteen as
America’s most popular
populist.
“Bad” won’t sell the 100
million copies that Michael
Jackson thinks it will.
Jim and Tammy Baker will
return to PTL and Heritage
USA, then go to jail.
William Casey, former CIA
chief, and Jimmy Hoffa,
former Teamsters President,
will come out of hiding, then go
to jail.
Andy Warhol will come out
of hiding and write a book.
Elvis Presley and Jim Mor
rison will come out of hiding.
Both will cut an album.
Both John and Robert Ken
nedy won’t come out of hiding.
They’re dead.
The price of textbooks will re
main too damned high.
The College will continue to
inaccurately be called the “High
School on the Hill.”
Drawing
1st prize
$25.00
2nd prize
$15.00
$10.00
3rd prize
Worth of Lunches
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ à Calendar ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
January 13 - CCC piano in
structor Janet Martin will play
classical and contemporary
music, Broadway show tunes,
jazz and more from noon to 1
p.m. in the Community Center
Mall. Call 657-8400, X247, for
information.
Jan.l3-Comedians Art Krueg
and The Newcomer Brothers,
CC mall, noon.
Steelhead fishing clinic, 7-9
p.m., call ext. 211 for details.
The Latin American
representative for Amnesty In
ternational will be on campus,
B-113, 3 p.m.
January 13 - The Board will
meet in a work session at 6 p.m.,
with a regular business meeting at
7:30 p.m. in the Barlow Hall
Board Room. Call 657-8400,
X4O5, for information.
Voter
registration
drive
Jan.l5-Selecting housing for
older persons, slide/tape
presentation, noon to one,
B240B, for info call Carolyn
Knutson ext. 240.
ETC...
Substance Abuse Support
Group will meet Thursday,
12:30-1:30, Bl 13
Gay/Lesbian Support Group
will meet Thursday, 12:30-1:30,
Bl 14, anyone interested in join
ing either of these groups
should contact David Campbell
or Bonnie Olson, Counseling
Dept. ext. 266.
Baptist Student Ministries is
starting Bible study again,
Wednesdays at 11 and noon,
B-240.
18 or over? Register to vote in
the Community Center or the
Bookstore.
Dean of Student Services, only
23 percent of the College’s
students voted in the November
levy election.
Associated Student Govern
ment is sponsoring a Voter
Registration Drive Winter
Term. ■
Registration cards are
available at the college
bookstore and in the Communi
ty Center. The cards can be
turned in at the Student Ac
tivities office in the Community
Center or can be mailed to the
appropriate county elections
department.
The registration drive is a
part of the college’s March 22
property tax levy campaign.
According to figures compil
ed by Lee Fawcett, Assistant
ASG openings
Three ASG Senator positions
are now open. Denise Camp
resigned as ASG Assistant to
the President Senator to accept
full time employment and ASG
Entertainment Senator Marc
Collet withdrew from classes at
CCC. One Position was never
filled from Fall Term.
There are two ASG Enter
tainment Senator positions
open. The duties include
»assisting the Entertainment
coordinator in selecting and
Open AA meetings, Monday
and Friday, noon to one in the
Health Trailer; Tuesdays and
Thursdays, 12:30-1:30 in P-103;
Wednesdays, noon to one,
P-103.
Student Health Insurance is
available, you have until Jan. 22
to sign up this term, pay at
cashier’s window, for more info
stop byStudent Activities or the
Student Health Service.
January 16 - Learn how to im
prove your chances of getting on
a game show, and winning, at
this all-day workshop 9 a.m.-4
p.m. in the Community Center.
Linda Ann Narz, daughter of
game show host Tom Kennedy,
will be among the workshop
leaders. The $12 fee includes
lunch, handouts, and a doorprize
drawing. Call 657-8400, X230,
for information.
organizing entertainment events
for students.
The office of ASG Assistant
to the President Senator is also
open. The duties include
assisting the ASG Assistant to
the President on student sugges
tions, setting up for blood
drives, and working on campus
issues that affect students.
All ASG Senators are eligible
for approximately $75 per term.
They must put 5 to 10 hours per
week and attend ASG meetings
on Thursdays at 12:30 p.m.
Applicatons are available at
the Student Activities Office.
Heart Attack.
Fight it with a
Memorial gift to
the American
Heart Association.
ROBERT MINORU MURAKAMI, D.C
THE AMERICAN HEART
ASSOCIATION
MEMORIAL PROGRAM.
Chiropractic Physician
(503) 659-2844
American Heart
Association
in Oregon
stkess
r
PATHOLOGY
2025 S.E. Jefferson St.
Milwaukie, Oregon 97222
TENSION
J
DYSFUNCTION
1-800-452-9445
This space provided as a public service.
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» ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ a*********
CLACKAMAS C.C.
PRESENTS
Sandwich Bar
Only $.29oz
Put your Name and Phone'Number on Cash
Register Receipt, then Drop it in the Box between
the Cash Registers.
‘A Day With Eeyore’
&
‘Make My Music’
fl
1
* Place: CC Mall
*Time:
7pm
*Date:
January 22
*Prices: Adults $1.50
Kids $1.00
Under 4 FREE!!
è*