Entertainment
Grey Matter Pudding”
AMEN
by Thad Kreisher
Contributing Writer
Brothers.....sisters, we are
gathered here today....... to hear
the word, as told to me in a vision
I had late last night.
Not many are chosen to receive
divine visions of wisdom friends.
John the Revelator, Peter,
Moses, Ezekial....and yes, Thad.
But, before I impart to you the
word as spoken to me by our
Lord, let me deliver to you a few
messages friends.
I noticed last Sunday, right
here in our own congregation,
something that disturbed me.
Yes, I did brothers and sisters.
And I think you’ll agree that it
should disturb all God fearin’
Christians everywhere in this
great land of ours.
Last week, there was a boy. A
young man of sixteen or so, sit­
in’ right down there in the
pews. Now that might not seem
so unusual to you, but this boy,
I noticed, was wearin’ jeans.
And he was wearin’ sneakers.
And he was wearin’ a plain
white t-shirt. And he had long
scraggly, greasy hair. And the
whole time I was deliverin’ the
word, this boy was a’smirkin’
and I could just tell that inside,
he was mocking. Yes! He-was-
mocking!
(Cries of dismay from the
congregation.)
Now I know that gen’rally
speakin’, all are welcome in the
house of the Lord, brothers and
sisters. But!....and I think
you’ll agree with me when I say
that the Lord does not approve
of this sort of thing on Sundays.
Young man, if you’re out there
today, I’d like to remind you
that this ain’t no high school,
and this ain’t no sleazy street
comer that you hang out on.
This is a church!
(Cries of amen from the con­
gregation.)
And if Jesus Christ were here
today, believe me, he’d be
wearin’ his Sunday best for you.
(More amens.)
And I know, yes, I know that
Jesus had long, scraggly hair.
But I would like to remind you
that in those days, they didn’t
have no barbers.
But now we do. This is 1987,
the United States of America,
not pre-historic Israel, and we
have barbers.
I think you get the point
brothers and sisters.
Well, friends, it looks like
we’re just about out of time for
this week. The Ushers are now
goin’ to pass around the offrin’
plate. So dig deep friends,
WAAAAYYY down into those
pockets and give all you can.
Remember, we also take checks,
VISA, and MASTERCARD.
And, as the Lord said, “Render
unto Ron what is Ron’s, and
render unto me;...uh, I mean,
render unto God what is
God’s.” Gen’rally speakin’
friends, the Lord’s tax returns
are greater than the fed’ral’s.
There will be coffee and
doughnuts in the foyer. Amen.
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