Sports
Glossary for the verb impaired
Curran’s
by Christopher Curran
Sports Editor
It has come to my attention
that inside this column and my
other articles, I use some, well,
let’s say “flowery” language.
Take the first paragraph of the
article I wrote last week about the
men’s basketball regional cham
pionship:
“The Clackamas men’s
basketball team erupted,
thwarted, and conquered their
opponents on the way to their
first NWAACC championship.’*
I certainly mean no harm by
using words such as erupted,
thwarted and conquered.
These words just paint a vivid
picture of what happened during
the games in which we won
(which is an incorrect term.
Remember last week’s Curran’s
Comer?).
In the Reporting II Class,
which I’m enrolled in, we (a cor
rect term in this case) recently
covered sports writing.
During the class proceedings, 1
was questioned on this very
point.
Truthfully my answer is I don’t
know how I squish these verbs in,
it just happens.
I have, however, prepared a
brief glossary of several words
that may help you in everyday
conversation.
Erupted: We kicked their ashes.
Thwarted: We kicked enough
butt to conquer them.
Conquered: This one has one of
the widest ranges of explanation.
It means anywhere from outscor
ing them to blowing them away.
A great one to remember if your
memory fails you often or you’re
often drunk.
Pummelled: blasted
Downed: netted
Scoreboard
Racked up: Finally a real defini
tion. This can be used in almost
in any sport. It means rapidly ac
cumulated the necessary ratio of
points to kick enough butt to
.pulverize those scum suckers.
Pulverize: punished their butts
enough to piss them off enough
for a tough grudge match.
Squelched: I’m still not quite sure
what this means. But I think it
means they did a good job in a
tight game.
Captured: a word we use when
we already know who is going to
win.
Softball
date
opponent
time
3-12
3-18
3-20
3-21
3-24
3-27
3-31
WILLAMETTE (1-7)
at Lewis and Clark (1-7)
at W. Oregon St. (1-9)
at Pacific (1-9)
at Shoreline (1-9)
SKAGIT VALLEY (2-7)
H1GHLINE (2-7)
.3:30
3:30
2:30
2:00
3:00
2:00
2:00
Baseball
SCHEDULE
This is obviously not a com
plete list. If you want a more
detailed list send $49.99 (cash on
ly) to Christopher Curran, C/O
The Print.
When I started this whole arti
cle I said I’d been accused of us
ing “flowery” language.
Come on, let’s get real verbs
in there.
If you ask me (which is
seldom the case), I would say
that is more of an intense notion
to thwart the English language
into a pulverized sense of my ex
istence.
date
opponent
time
3-21
3-22
3-23
3-24
3-31
at Yakima Valley (2-7)'
at Yakima Valley (2-7)
at North Idaho (2-7)
at North Idaho (2-7)
PACIFIC (1-9)
TBA
TBA
1:00
1:00
3:00
Track
MEN’S and WOMEN’S SCHEDULES
date
3-14
3-20
3-21
3-27
3-27 & 28
opponent
place
Oregon Invitational
Eugene
Willamette Invitational
Salem
Oregon Open
Eugene
College of the Redwoods Eureka, CA
Willamette Decathlon
Salem
Your
Norm asks ?
Did you know that the cafe
THE PRINT encourages
support of Clackamas
Community College sports.
Whether it’s baseball, soft-
ball, track, or intramurals,
the players are there, you
can be too.
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